me99 Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Hi Theres no good way of saying this but I was unfaithful to her 5/6 years ago before we got married with a string of prostitutes (about7) I told her 5 years ago and said I was sorry and the secrecy of it all made it so not real and like it wasn't real life. I know I had a sex addiction at the time and had also fantasised about nudist beaches and Theesomes etc...I had cheated before on my exwife( with a couple of prositutes as well) and left her for linda my current wife as I was desperately not happy. My last relationship was dire as I was bullied by my ex wife and her family and desperate to get out..I suffered years of mental torture like threats etc from her parents and other family ...they were like the Dingles times 10, It was the best days work I did getting out but had to leave a 6month son behind even though I tried to see him initially the threats of violence against me and Linda was too much so we moved away after 2 months. Everything was perfect with Linda for the first year and spent that 1st year in each others pockets never a moment apart..I called her my undiscovered treasure!.and had met my dream wife. But there was problems below the surface as I suffer from depression and anxiety and I was coming out with violent outbursts more and more often and a lot of the source of these was over Linda's 8 year old son, and we argued over money and stuff I ended up hitting her on a few occassioons and used to go off afterwards for a fag in the car feeling awfull for what i had done. Is it possible the abused can become the abuser?..I'm not trying to make excuses here but I wasn't this violent never before in my life and I know at the time had a lot of pent up anger. To run and hide from all this I indulged in my sex addiction more and more firstly looking at porn then leading onto prostitutes feeling guilty evertime afterwards. I know people are reading this especially women and thinking I'm a bad person but really I will help anyone and most people that know me know I have a heart of gold. I have suffered from depression most of my life as my mum was a manic depresive and would often take off one day in outbursts and threaten to kill herself, was paranoid and had a really low self esteem but was a lovely person at heart just had many issues which I had always known her to have and I hate to say it were so bad at times I wished her dead...Didn't really mean just meant that I wished her be better and not so unstable. She felt a burden to Dad and in one cold Nov morning killed herself in front of a train. I was 22 at the time. At this time in my life I had no confidence at all was reliant on Dads advice and had a couple of difficult relationships and one suicide attempt over a long time lover and one year later another over the current G/f of the time. Since meeting Linda I am a differnt person my confidence has grown considerably and I love her to bits (despite the fact I find her really annoying and frustrating at times...lol) She is one of the kindest people I have ever met and we have a 6 year old together and life could not be better. My wife stayed with me after I told her about the prostitutes and agreed to work through it and we got married 3 months later. I later saw a councellor and went through my sex addiction and other things and this helped. My wife told me about 4 months ago she didn't love me anymore and I sunk into depression instantly and started smoking again. I begged her to stay and said I can change and be the person you want me to be. I had thought things were fine until yesterday she told me she wanted to leave me and had made her mind up this time and was desperately unhappy. Linda is my life and I love her to bit I am so happy and content at the moment, but I know Linda gets bored of life and feels she has no life (she is a stay at home mum, can't work because of bad back). I have tried to make her happy buy her flowers when I go out and chocolate too and tell her all the time she looks lovely (which she does now since losing weight and really making an effort, she looks a million dollars for nearly 40!) My wife cannot forget about the prostitute and my outburstsfor which have now got less and less to now zero. I now feel myself slipping down hill again and sinking into depression as I cannot cope yet again with losing someone special in my life and I feel there is nothing left and am really desperate..even had thoughts of suicide.. I'm just getting to the point where I now feel control of my life slipping away and going into self destruct mode again.... I caught her on a dating site today talking to other men even though it was only mild flirting it still hurt like hell and can't bear the thought of her flirting and have deep and meaningful chats with other men..I know that sounds rich coming from me!...but I have never had an affair or wanted to ever as I am content with my wife. ......I love my wife so much but she says she has no feelings that way for me ... Help
CaliGuy Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 ......I love my wife so much but she says she has no feelings that way for me ... Help No offense but what did you expect her to do?! You really didn't give her any options.... What's done is done.
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