wheelwright Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Ok. I lost my xMOM and it still hurts a bit. Am I sad for still feeling hurt? I reckon I'm a 10 on a scale of 1-10. How hurt are you? Bear in mind you may add text that puts it in perspective...
lilbunny Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 If 1 is feeling fine and 10 is like you have just had your heart hacked out with a rusty pick axe then I am an 11 at the moment. I have good days and bad days, today has been a very bad day. The hurt of things not working out as I would have liked I can deal with, being treated like crap for no good reason is a killer and as for frustration- off the charts!
BB07 Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I think it depends on the day as to where I'm at, and I alternate between sad/painful vs anger. When I'm having one of my sad/painful days I feel like I'm at a 6 or 7, but if I get a trigger, I'm up there at 10. Same can be said for the anger, it's up and down. On a good day, I think I'm probably at 3 or 4.
pureinheart Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 If 1 is feeling fine and 10 is like you have just had your heart hacked out with a rusty pick axe then I am an 11 at the moment. I have good days and bad days, today has been a very bad day. The hurt of things not working out as I would have liked I can deal with, being treated like crap for no good reason is a killer and as for frustration- off the charts! I think it depends on the day as to where I'm at, and I alternate between sad/painful vs anger. When I'm having one of my sad/painful days I feel like I'm at a 6 or 7, but if I get a trigger, I'm up there at 10. Same can be said for the anger, it's up and down. On a good day, I think I'm probably at 3 or 4. Hey (((((hugs to both you guys)))))) I feel ya!
OWoman Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I'm just :bunny: and wish I could share some of that with those of you who are feeling sad... (((((hugs)))))
TigerCub Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 It's odd - I'm no longer @ 10. It hasn't even been that long, but I'm not there anymore. It depends on the day, good day, I'm a 3-4 bad days I'm a 7 I do still think about him every single day But because the last thing he did was treat me badly, it makes it easier to just say F*CK him. He proved that he never really cared about me by treating me badly, so thinking that makes me not want to be with him. But I still feel really sad over what I thought we had
lovingagain Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I'm definitely way past max in the sad too. Conversely when things are normal we are sky high on the happy scale. So the relationship is a bit bipolar I suppose.
OpenBook Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I will always be sad about him. There will always be scars. But if I don't think about him, I won't feel the sadness. Time is such a blessing, the Great Healer. Time, and distance. I am very grateful that he is no longer in my life. And I hope he will never be in it again.
TigerCub Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Conversely when things are normal we are sky high on the happy scale. So the relationship is a bit bipolar I suppose. I totally understand that. When I was in the A - that relationship made me sooooooo bipolar! Very emotional as well. Now my bipolar craziness is a lot less than what it used to be. I'm very glad for that - but DAMN!!! those highs were awesome!! but really not worth it (for me) in the end..
ladydesigner Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I will always be sad about him. There will always be scars. But if I don't think about him, I won't feel the sadness. Time is such a blessing, the Great Healer. Time, and distance. I am very grateful that he is no longer in my life. And I hope he will never be in it again. This bolded part is exactly how I feel now. I try not to give the thoughts about my A any power anymore. Hell I'm sure I thought about my XAP a lot more than he ever did. I am now at a 2. The only times I feel pain is when I reminisce about his hurtful words to me upon ending. I believe those have been seared in my memory. Okay now back to happy...
Hazyhead Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Today I feel sad. It's been coming I think since me messaged me (had been six months NC). The sadness is because I gave somebody my heart whom didn't love me quite enough to protect it. On a scale... I'm around seven today. BUT, I have, over the past six months, slid right down that scale so I hope I can get back down again very soon. What a pity party this is, huh? (((((((((Big group hug)))))))))
Hazyhead Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Maybe a six... screw it, I'm going to all optimistic!
Silly_Girl Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 (((((((((Big group hug))))))))) Group hug??? How about a Chinese, then karaoke and some shots??? :bunny: (okay, hugs to all too )
Hazyhead Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Group hug??? How about a Chinese, then karaoke and some shots??? :bunny: (okay, hugs to all too ) That would be soooooo perfect :D:D
BB07 Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Group hug??? How about a Chinese, then karaoke and some shots??? :bunny: (okay, hugs to all too ) Hey I'm in..........I like those too sweet chocolate shots, but of course a lemon drop martini or 2 first. Hazy.......I'm sorry you are having "one of those" days.
Hazyhead Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Hey I'm in..........I like those too sweet chocolate shots, but of course a lemon drop martini or 2 first. Hazy.......I'm sorry you are having "one of those" days. Hey BB. Yeeeaah, having a one. I'll be right though I'm with you on the lemon drop martinis or two. Or three...
Tsm Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 It varies from day 2 day, some days its 2, when hes acting like a fool, and some 11 when he goes on like i never happend. Ovarall it gets better everyday.
lilbunny Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Hey BB. Yeeeaah, having a one. I'll be right though I'm with you on the lemon drop martinis or two. Or three... I'm in, although yesterday was a truly awful day, today has been much better. A bottle of wine, a good sleep and a whole 24 hours away from him has done me the power of good!
LoveAintEverything Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 When you lose someone it takes years and years of getting over it. I just lost a friend in the war May 13th and I would say I am a 11/10 scale....it is disgusting, I am sicken, sad, angry.....everything
OpenBook Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Group hug??? How about a Chinese, then karaoke and some shots??? I'm in... although not necessarily in that order. Can we just go straight to the shots?
Silly_Girl Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I'm in... although not necessarily in that order. Can we just go straight to the shots? Yes yes yes!!!!!!! (you twisted my arm)
siuys Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I'd say I'm a 4 today which is quite good considering I just decided to write xMM off yesterday. Maybe because I've finally committed to a decision, and see the A as what it was. Sure, I am sad because I really thought things would work out with xMM but he messed me about. He is a flip-flop and I've had enough. I think the anger helped brought it down to a 4 but more so the committed decision and the fact that I no longer want to give him the power over my emotions/life. Good luck to all.
Author wheelwright Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 Group hug??? How about a Chinese, then karaoke and some shots??? :bunny: (okay, hugs to all too ) This turned into a nice thread! I feel like I'm going to a men are b*******s party! Thanks ladies! I liked the comments about bipolar Rs. I'll think about that. XMOM was a bit bipolar so he said. I am feeling 6 today. Like I can let go of the hurt, if not the loss. ((hugs)) to all too.
siuys Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I'm a 7 or 8 today despite my decision to write xmm off. It is still raw, it still hurts, I still miss him but it doesn't change the fact that he hurt me, and the R was bad for me. I let it go, but I feel pain.
LakesideDream Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Wow, I've been away for a long time. The only screen names I recognise are Open Book and Owoman...... My take. When it happened, I was a 10, hoping to live day to day. I stayed a ten for a year, maybe two. The next three or four years varied from a 4-7 or so. Nine years later it's still a 2-4 with a "10" day a few times a year. I pretty much figure that's the way it's going to be.
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