herenow Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I suppose I failed to see that she was gloating. If that was her motivation than it is hers to examine and rectify, but I just don't see the outright maliciousness. It was a question. It requested information. It did not even claim anything about BS's in general (she didn't call them naive or stupid or anything because their husbands snuck out on them; in that case I may see your point a little more), she just asked how it worked out, which may be a perfectly applicable question in an OW board because it is a relationship where presumably one partner has serious time constraints. I was surprised at the jump to attacking here. I would more expect either answers, or if the question seems unuseful or invalid, letting it drop to the bottom. If her motivations are as you claim (I cannot say), I'd imagine the furor is satisfactory to her and provokes more posts. *shrug* I am not here too much but as I've been here today, I've been seeing a lot of personal attacks. I couldn't not say something. I don't have anything against any particular poster, or in favor of a particular poster, but the personal attacks period unnerve me. Well, I will give you the benefit that you have not seen the attacks by boho on infidelity. Trust me my comments are about as serious as her threads. Sorry if I offended you Tinan, it was not my intention.
Mimolicious Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I suppose I failed to see that she was gloating. If that was her motivation than it is hers to examine and rectify, but I just don't see the outright maliciousness. It was a question. It requested information. It did not even claim anything about BS's in general (she didn't call them naive or stupid or anything because their husbands snuck out on them; in that case I may see your point a little more), she just asked how it worked out, which may be a perfectly applicable question in an OW board because it is a relationship where presumably one partner has serious time constraints. I was surprised at the jump to attacking here. I would more expect either answers, or if the question seems unuseful or invalid, letting it drop to the bottom. If her motivations are as you claim (I cannot say), I'd imagine the furor is satisfactory to her and provokes more posts. *shrug* I am not here too much but as I've been here today, I've been seeing a lot of personal attacks. I couldn't not say something. I don't have anything against any particular poster, or in favor of a particular poster, but the personal attacks period unnerve me. Do a bit more reading hone and your nerves will be shocked. Anyway, Boho- please answer my questions. You seem to pop off a lot and then when you put on the spot you vanish... From someone that does so much interrogations, you can answer a few questions yourself.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I don't agree with everything boho posted and certainly do not have the time to analyze everything posted by everybody but sweet mother, this post is outright mean, malicious, and DISGUSTING. no more than whats-her-diddles digs at BS's on this forume.
awkward Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Well there is nothing wrong with venting. It's actually healthy. I also think sharing your experiences and learning about the affair mentality is healthy too. I don't understand why you concern yourself so much with the BW. XMM is the one you were dating. He is the one you broke up with. You chose to date XMM while he was married to his BS. His wife chose to remain married to him while he dated you. Why are you so angry with her for doing the same thing you did? I'm not being sarcastic. I'm really wondering why you have so much anger for the BS. You're lucky that you came out of the affair relatively unscathed. You could probably give some helpful advice to OW's that are hurting.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Now I am happy with someone else. I'm sure thats exactly how this "someone else" would feel if he knew you were reminiscing about your xMM.
wheelwright Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 My Ex and I both work in the same professional field (for the same multinational initially) and we have a great deal of autonomy in the way we manage our work. It was probably easier to spend quality time when we were not working together. Crazy but true. How we spent our time: Lunch, dinner, night cap (sometimes dancing). Overnights 3/4 days a week. Arrange meetings for mid morning so we did not have to go back to the office. Pretends he is going to work but takes annual leave. Buys groceries and has my lunch ready when I decide to work from home later that same day. Pretends he is going to work but calls in sick. I take annual leave. We would tend to drive to the country. We both love olde worlde pubs and historic homes. I also have a beach house on the coast. Arrange client meetings in same cities or even countries and enjoy the downtime together. He openly courted me and it would have continued if he had not lied to my face over something so trivial that he couldn't believe my reaction. Lying to others is not admirable. Lying to me is a dealbreaker. He forgot who he was talking to. His wife knew all about me so I was not deceiving anyone. The relationship suited me until it didn't. Now I am happy with someone else. I am sorry but this rings Troll to me. I lurked on a couple of other threads. Few people here seem to get you. Why do you think that is? 'Real' people have humility. Can you tell us what makes you feel humble about your A or your present happy R? I would like to hear that. Anyway, you are getting a lot of responses, so you are obviously interesting in some way.
Sham WOW Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I am sorry but this rings Troll to me. I lurked on a couple of other threads.:bunny:Yay!:bunny: Nice to see I am not the only one who thinks this!
Dexter Morgan Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I am sorry but this rings Troll to me. I lurked on a couple of other threads. Few people here seem to get you. Why do you think that is? its not her...its all the rest of us. we are all nuts!!.
Silly_Girl Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 its not her...its all the rest of us. we are all nuts!!. Excellent! I agree with Dexter on something <hops off to make note on calendar>
Mimolicious Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 And take attendance while you're at it SG. There are few students absent today.
ladydesigner Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 And take attendance while you're at it SG. There are few students absent today. OMG Mimo you are on a roll. You have got me crying at work:lmao::lmao: Between this thread and the other I don't know which is better.
Author bohogirl Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 The personal attacks and self righteous gloating is reminiscent of schoolyard bullies. Those insecure kids that try to be part of the "in" crowd so no one can see how desperately sad they are. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I did not attack anyone. I just posted a question. Knowing how your spouse could hide his/her cheating has triggered some of you very very badly. But please note this is the OW/OM forum.
donnamaybe Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I've never been cheated on, but I can spot a pot stirrer when I see one.
woinlove Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I just posted a question. Well, you can simply chose to focus on the answers. What? .... 3 pages of posts and not a single answer? Now why is that? Some OW must have some answers as to how their MM got to spend time with them besides the completely obvious one of making their W think they are somewhere else. Let's see...what else could they have done? Knocked out the W with chloroform? Time travel? Ideas, anyone? Come on, some OW must have had a crafty MM that did something other than fool his W in order to spend time with her. Bohogirl needs to know.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 The personal attacks and self righteous gloating is reminiscent of schoolyard bullies. oh please. Lets analyze one of your veiled digs at BS here with a question you posed in another one of your threads. "How long was it before you could be intimate with your spouse without thinking about s/he pleasuring the AP? " Anyone that thinks that is a genuine question and not an attempt to turn the knife needs their head examined. And as of yet, I can't find anyone that responded that doesn't think this is a s##t stirring question.
jj33 Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I dont want to stir the pot further and Boho doesnt need defending but it seems from her posts that she and I have been in relationships with men with similar marriages. And the relationship is different when the W knows, the time you can spend together is easier to come by and more frequent than in most As because they dont need to lie in the same way etc etc and there is a curiousity about other affairs because its different. At least I was kind of curious when I first started posting. I could be totally wrong. I could be wrong in my assumptions about Bohos A and I could be wrong about why she asked. But I suspect shes not intended to be as malicious as people seem to think. For example, in my case, he just had to say Ill be back Friday evening. Are you coming into town at all? I know this because I heard him on the phone. Yes Ill be back for x on Friday night. When you come into town on Wednesday are you staying the night? (pretty transparent in my view) She only stays an hour away. Many people commute an hour each day. He could have gone home each night to where she was. She was just as happy that he didnt. They "alerted" each other as to where they would be, when and for how long. That way they stayed out of each others way a lot of the time.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I also find it fascinating that while your sweetheart cooks for you, you are here talking about another man. Classic! Poor guy.... exactly my thoughts as well.
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