Butchannon Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 When I found out about my GF's infidelity I didn't want nothing to do with her anymore and told her to leave. After some hours I was thinking that we could make up. Her parents say it makes me unstable person and potentially violent. But as I read stories about discovery of infidelity that emotional rollercoaster is something normal what happens to every betrayed partner. How did you manage to overcome hurt and anger and not tell your WS to leave? Does it make you a weak person if you react like that, in the heat of the moment?
cyabye Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 No it does not make you weak. You are human. I would care less what her parent's say. End the relationship. Save yourself some future heartache and get away from this woman. Not having my ex in my life was the ONLY way for me to heal. Cya
greengoddess Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 You are perfectly normal. Run. Her parent's know and they are painting you as the unstable one not their cheating daughter? Run she won't hesitate to do it again.
Owl Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I left the house for about five hours while I tried to sort out what I was thinking/feeling. I developed a gameplan for how to proceed while I was sitting in a park during that time. Of course, my gameplan got blown out the water hen I went home and found that she'd developed her own plan with OM in that interim. But it all worked out in the end. The trick is to do nothing out of sheer anger...stop, calm down, and THINK about what you want to do. Decide if it matches your goals or not...THEN proceed as needed. In your case, it sounds to me as though either she greatly exaggerated what happened to make you look bad (and herself look like the victim) to her parents. OR...her parents are simply using this as a 'reason' to remove you from her/their lives because they never truly supported you being there to begin with. Regardless...I think in your case it's time to move on.
PegNosePete Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I had it the other way round, my first instinct was to reconcile and work out how to overcome it. But within a few hours it was obvious she didn't regret her actions and so for me it will be divorce. How dare her parents say you are the unstable one! She is the one who cheated! Well I would expect them to take her side since they are her parents, but that is just laughable.
Author Butchannon Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 We also have a child together but the shock was so overwhelming that I didn't take that in consideration. Honestly, at that moment I didn't even know if child was really mine.
herenow Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I did ask him to leave. It turned out his leaving was the best thing for our reconciliation.
bentnotbroken Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I got an appointment with a divorce lawyer.
young&inlove Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I found my hubs cheated when he woke me up at 2 am telling me he had just cheated. I wanted to die. I couldnt talk to anyone about it so I talked about it here on LS and got some really good feed back. We still struggle but we have worked it out for the most part. I love him and he loves me.
wheelwright Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I got an appointment with a divorce lawyer. You make me laugh BNB (crikey I hope that isn't offensive..) Um. To OP. Wait a while. Ignore parents. Find where your own heart is, and if perhaps you and your So missed a beat that can be found.
Author Butchannon Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Um. To OP. Wait a while. Ignore parents. Find where your own heart is, and if perhaps you and your So missed a beat that can be found. It is already 9 months since then. I try to work things out, but...
wheelwright Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 It is already 9 months since then. I try to work things out, but... OK you did the waiting, and that's a long time. But what does your heart tell you now? Your gut?
Author Butchannon Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 OK you did the waiting, and that's a long time. But what does your heart tell you now? Your gut? I think I still love her and want to try to work things out. She says I should wait for her to graduate and then will she move in with me.
FryFish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 OMG! NO! Butch she is a cheating skank. I followed your story... She cheated and has been ****ING with you since then. I think you are dealing with a full fledged WHORE... Dont be her sucker butch... Dont wait for her. Find out if the kid is even yours. I know you havent been employed so if the kid isnt yours there is almost NO grounds for a child support order. How did I react myself? I flew off the handle and ended up with two broken hands. Luckily in my state of pure rage I was still smart enough to only punch things I couldnt break.
seibert253 Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Butch, I too have been following your story. You're better off without you XGF and her insane parents. IMO you where way too nice, but that shows your nature and character. You took the high road, she's just scum. Enough of that. I left and went and stayed with my brother for a few days. Did alot of soul searching, got alot of good advise from family and my one friend who I could trust. This gave me time to formulate my plan of attack because I didn't want end my M. Even with what happened, I loved her deeply, and I loved being a family. I did not want to be a part-time dad. But, even with this I wasn't going to settle for anything than 100% effort from her to fix this. I was hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst. Had retained an attorney, who had D papers drawn. She called 3 or 4 times a day while I was gone, but mostly because without me she had to arrange for childcare. Was really pizzed about that. When I got back I laid out my desire to R with her, but also gave her my demands. She was still foggy, ILUBNILWU, confused, didn't know what she wanted. Gave her one week to decide. Then it was hardcore 180 time. On day 6 I left the D papers on the kitchen table, knowing she's find and read them. When she saw I meant business and wasn't going to tolerate her crap, bam. Fog lifted. Butch keep down the road you're travelling. You'll be better off in the long run. Peace,
spriggig Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I think I still love her and want to try to work things out. She says I should wait for her to graduate and then will she move in with me. I made the discovery while she was at her niece's birthday party. I flipped, raged around the house for several minutes and then I left her a voice mail that she should find someplace else to spend the night. After I calmed down I told her to come home and we talked. That was at the end of January. We signed the divorce papers a week ago, it should be final this week or next. Don't wait for her at all. Move on with your life. While you mess around with a proven cheater, a good woman is out there waiting for you.
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