rattled Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Tell us some success stories and let us know there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. It's been 2 month NC for me and it seems everyday it gets a little harder. It just turned ugly for me as I found out that my ex has officially found a new bf. So where are all the former heartbroken LS'ers that got through these turbulent times and has even found a renewed life with a new partner? I could really use some hope right now.
PegNosePete Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I had a 9 year relationship which went bad and we split up. 6 months later I met someone else, a year after that she moved in with me, a year after that we got engaged, a year later we are married. And another year later we're getting divorced... but hey, ignore that part for now The wheel turns. Sometimes you're on top, sometimes on the bottom. But it keeps on turning.
Author rattled Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Well I hoping there'd be more inspiring stories...but I guess thats a start C'mon LS'ers...I'm starting to think that finding someone new after being dumped is a fairy tale, myth, or urban legend. Or even winning the lottery. a hundred thousands of threads on heartbreak and probably single digit number of threads on finding new light??
PegNosePete Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 a hundred thousands of threads on heartbreak and probably single digit number of threads on finding new light?? Well you are in the "Coping" forum
climbergirl Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Last relationship was for 5 years---was on/off for far too long and we even got married! I thought I loved him and it's hard to untangle yourself when you've been with someone for that length of time. A few months after our last break up I met a man through a mutual friend. I had a 'no expectations' attitude when we first met and, quite frankly, was really too mentally exhausted to think about being in a serious relationship. But here we are 6 months later and now living together! I keep expecting that this 'honeymoon' period will subside, but we just get better, closer, and more in love everyday. I fully believe now that those past relationships, particularly the ones that broke your heart, sets the stage for 'the' great one out there. I appreciate all of those relationships, even the bad ones, because they keep me from ever taking my bf for granted.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Hey, I'll reply to this in a while, just gotta finish some long overdue housework first
Author rattled Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Thanks for the reply Climbergirl - this is exactly what I think us copers need. I definitely need a renewed sense of hope that's for sure.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 My ex left me July '09 after 18 years, I was completely heartbroken, we'd been a very close, loving couple, but the last 2 or 3 years I'd been so busy I neglected him, long story, most of the 'old timers' on LS heard it a million times as I was depressed and not coping well at all. I felt dead inside for 6 months after he left, had no hope or anything for the future, I'd lost the love of my life, I felt (knew) I'd never love anyone again/fall in love again, would not find someone I clicked with so well. I did not know how to deal with the pain at all, the grief and all the negative horrible feelings/thoughts were scary, I'd never felt so alone, even though I have several close friends, I just felt it was unbearable. You get the picture Anyway long story short, again, I went NC with my ex after 7 months and started to move forward bit by bit, around the same time I'd been talking with a male friend online and on the phone and he'd come out of an LTR too, his ex was the love of his life too, anyway we got closer bit by bit and met up (we live 500 miles apart so it's an LDR) and really hit it off and in a nutshell I am in love again We've met up a few times now and feel we have something special, no matter what the future brings with me and him it has shown me there are some special people out there and I can and did love again:) I now think we can have more than one love of our life, I didn't think that before. But when I look back I also think someone I was with years ago for only a few months was a love of my life too. I'm friends with my ex which is a bonus, we're still close. He is with an ex friend of mine which did hurt, again that's a long story, but I have my own life now. Hang in there, 2 months is still early days, you WILL get there, take it from someone who REALLY knows Tell us some success stories and let us know there is light at the end of this dark tunnel. It's been 2 month NC for me and it seems everyday it gets a little harder. It just turned ugly for me as I found out that my ex has officially found a new bf. So where are all the former heartbroken LS'ers that got through these turbulent times and has even found a renewed life with a new partner? I could really use some hope right now.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I had a pm to contact this thread I had been married only 6 months when I caught XW cheating. Then the next door neighbor invited XW and her new BF over to his place while his wife was out of town, to party and rub it in my face. With in a month I had seduced his wife, and she temp moved in with me, while she settled her paper work and moved back to her moms. Naturally the second my XW discovered that I had also been unfaithful she wanted me back. She spent the next 3 - 4 trying to get me to talk with her. Too late, once I was back in the dating scene, is was gone. It took me 15 years to find my mrs. right and settle down again. I am retired, so you can appreciate that my lady is a granny with an hour glass shape, totally in love and trust each other, for the past 15 years. In the intervening years, must have kissed over a 100 women. Quite coping, get out and live, move on. You only live once, you are young, you still have an E-ticket, don't waste it coping, work / study hard, and play just as hard, dance, while you can. Girls just want to have fun. Women love men with confidence, and who love life and live it. Be that guy. You will find some one new when you are worth it. You want her back, seduce her best friend then laugh in her face when she wants you back. It can be done.
shayan Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I got out my first deeply in love relationship close to a year ago. After that period I sunk into depression, however, because I am always an optimist I immediately began to work on myself and restructure my mind and body. Slowly, I pulled myself back together, started fight against all the negativity that was stored in my head from her voice it was hard. About 4 months after we broke I met a new girl which I liked very much and at times thought I loved she helped bring me back to sanity. However, the majority of the work was my own. I pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone forced myself to start socializing with more people and start partying and I'm a med student! I eventually had to end the relationship with the new girl because I realized I did not truly love her. Now it's been close to a year and I would say thanks to my mourning, no contact, and rebuilding I am 90 percent over things. Yes I have not found the girl of my dreams yet but I am over my past and I do see light! So the point is just work on yourself good luck
teanoranges Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Its been a year since I broke up with my 2.5 year on/off guy. it took about 6 months to get my head on right but now I'm doing great. I don't have another love, but I don't really need one. I've gone back to being content with myself and willing to wait for someone who will blow my socks off.. it doesn't matter how long it will take because I know it will happen if I let it. My eyes are checking out people and I'm doing that single thing and feel great, getting those butterflies in my stomach, etc. etc. though I can't say I've fallen in love, but I am living.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 If I'd met my new partner within 6-7 months of my break up I wouldn't have fallen for him, I was repulsed by the thought of being with someone else for the first 7 months, jusy wouldn't have happened, I felt too dead inside, it would have been too soon. I said that going NC helped me move on massively but so did reaching the point where I realised I could stay stuck in misery for a very long time if I didn't make a conscious effort to get out of it, had counseling for a while too, and I'm always working on improving myself, it's an ongoing thing Fulfilling work and friends help too, a partner has never been the be all and end all to me, although I am happier if I'm in a (happy, loving) relationship than single, but I don't see it as a weakness, it's just human nature
xinchao123 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I had a pm to contact this thread I had been married only 6 months when I caught XW cheating. Then the next door neighbor invited XW and her new BF over to his place while his wife was out of town, to party and rub it in my face. With in a month I had seduced his wife, and she temp moved in with me, while she settled her paper work and moved back to her moms. Naturally the second my XW discovered that I had also been unfaithful she wanted me back. She spent the next 3 - 4 trying to get me to talk with her. Too late, once I was back in the dating scene, is was gone. It took me 15 years to find my mrs. right and settle down again. I am retired, so you can appreciate that my lady is a granny with an hour glass shape, totally in love and trust each other, for the past 15 years. In the intervening years, must have kissed over a 100 women. Quite coping, get out and live, move on. You only live once, you are young, you still have an E-ticket, don't waste it coping, work / study hard, and play just as hard, dance, while you can. Girls just want to have fun. Women love men with confidence, and who love life and live it. Be that guy. You will find some one new when you are worth it. You want her back, seduce her best friend then laugh in her face when she wants you back. It can be done. Sir, YOU MADE MY DAY.
HeavenOrHell Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 (edited) Sorry to butt in but there's a few sweeping statements here! "women love men with confidence" I actually find shy men really sweet and attractive, respect for himself and for others is more important than how confident he is, people are confident in different ways anyway. Women don't ALL like the same things, neither do men. "Girls just want to have fun" is a vague sweeping statement, everyone needs fun in their life and some of us women want some serious stuff too, same goes for men "You will find someone new when you are worth it" maybe he's already worth it, I was worth it when my ex left and I'm worth it now. Our self worth isn't based on whether others like us or whether we're single or attached. It is NOT good advice to say to someone seduce their ex's best mate and then laugh in their ex's face, even if they did cheat, it makes you as bad as them, that's just vindictive. I had a pm to contact this thread I had been married only 6 months when I caught XW cheating. Then the next door neighbor invited XW and her new BF over to his place while his wife was out of town, to party and rub it in my face. With in a month I had seduced his wife, and she temp moved in with me, while she settled her paper work and moved back to her moms. Naturally the second my XW discovered that I had also been unfaithful she wanted me back. She spent the next 3 - 4 trying to get me to talk with her. Too late, once I was back in the dating scene, is was gone. It took me 15 years to find my mrs. right and settle down again. I am retired, so you can appreciate that my lady is a granny with an hour glass shape, totally in love and trust each other, for the past 15 years. In the intervening years, must have kissed over a 100 women. Quite coping, get out and live, move on. You only live once, you are young, you still have an E-ticket, don't waste it coping, work / study hard, and play just as hard, dance, while you can. Girls just want to have fun. Women love men with confidence, and who love life and live it. Be that guy. You will find some one new when you are worth it. You want her back, seduce her best friend then laugh in her face when she wants you back. It can be done. Edited September 20, 2010 by HeavenOrHell
USMCHokie Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I broke up with my ex a little over a year ago and spent most of that time in NC...was a mess for a few months, then got better over the following months...now I'm better than ever and met an absolutely amazing woman who makes me go :love:... Don't worry, it'll happen for you...you just have to let time do its magic...
Author rattled Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 Thank you all for the replies...keep em coming! I think all copers should chime into this thread to give them a sense of hope! Also thank you to those that are still on this board AFTER they no longer needed it
McGrupp Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 i dont know if i found love, but a year to the day i got a fbook note from a girl from HS who i used to really like. weve hung out a bit and she is a great girl. so you just have to be open to it. it will come. PS Glad to see some old friends in hear.
teanoranges Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 hey Hoh! Glad to hear you are doing so great!! I agree, its nice to see the people that were heartbroken at the same time... and see how much everyone's come along... don't see many posts by any of you, so I'm guessing you all linger like I do.
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