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I feel worthless


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Posted

I had another sleepless night last night. We haven't contacted each other since the silent break up a month ago with my ex.

 

To cut the story short:

Back June this year, he slept with someone else he barely knew. I was devastated and too stupid to take him back.

 

Back early August, my uncle passed away, left a 9 year old. To help out my aunt who's a full time working mum, my retired parents and I have been helping on the funeral and day care of the little one. It was a tough time. He said he was there for me. But when I specifying my needs, he wasn't even able to accomplish any.

 

He has problem with his anger outburst. My mother has been going through depression for more than a decade so I sorta understand how it was. I showed my understanding and hoped that he could acknowledge his problem. He just ignored it completely.

 

After a year of dating, I felt tired of being taking advantage of. Felt the need to have the talk so told him I needa know where our relationship heading. He told me he couldn't think that far.

 

He broke my heart.

 

I ended it. A month ago. I knew I did the right thing and have to take care of myself ...

 

It was for our best to not contacting each other. Yet, deep inside my heart, I hope that he misses me still, somehow.

 

It's my moment of weakness. It's hard to stop my tear and think I need help...

Posted

I'm glad you were bold enough to make the decision you had to, and you should realize one must respect themselves a lot in order to leave someone they loved for the better. The pain will subside I promise but first you must allow yourself to feel it. I suggest you spend your time mourning and focusing on rebuilding your self physically, and mentally, and spirtually, from the bottom up. Whatever you do I don't suggest breaking no contact because it is easy to fall into old patterns when we are vulnreable. Cry, excercise, run, jump, punch a pillow, burn old photos, do whatever you have to and get through this period :) you will do it I promise, I promise :)

Posted

If you think you really need help, seek professional help. Break-ups are so hard, even when you're the one doing the breaking up. I feel so bad for you.. which does nothing to alleviate your situation.. but try to know that you are not alone. And when you're lying there at night.. crying into your pillow.. hundreds of other people are doing the exact same thing. Somehow, we manage to make it through the day.. and focus on just that, making it through that day. Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Just try to remember that this too shall pass.

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