whatislove3 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I just got out of a 5 year relationship and today is going to be a week of it being over? My guy and I had a long distance type relationship and at first we lived in totally different countries.. After 2 years of going on webcam/talking on phone ect we were in love so I decided to persue a modeling career in the city he lives in .. As soon as i moved there I was way to busy with traveling and working that I had absolutely no time to see him and that's when the problems started.. I have caught him talking to one other girl and seeing another girl behind my back .. each time that I caught him i asked why he did it and he said he is lonely and i asked him to pick either me or the girls and each time he chose me .. back in November of last year I was going back and forth with trips between now and then .. In November I seen pictures with him and another girl and then i cut him off and became the coldest person with him and then he said he cut her off so i began speaking to him again and then one night on the phone he told me he was still speaking to her but he said he wants me and she is just there .. he told me that she is just a friend ect.. anyhoo we were going back and forth and i had a feeling that maybe he was still doing shady things .. during this summer he was working everyday and he told me he just was doing his own thing and how he loves me and he said it so sincere .. i didn't speak to him for about 2 weeks and then i get a text from him saying hes back from working and he misses me and loves me and all that .. and so he asked to see me asap and seemed super extatic since he has been asking to be with me and see him everyday for the past 5 years !! I told him that i was busy working and he seemed okay with that until the following week he changed and became very upset at me and he still said his heart was with me .. last sunday was when i found pictures of him and the same girl i seen him with back in November .. i called him as soon as i seen the pictures and asked what he wanted and he said for me to see him and i said do you want me or her and he said i'm so confused i just wanna see you and things will be clear and then he told me to call him back and when i did there was no answer and so he called me back 5 times and i didn't pick up because i was so disgusted.. after that he sent me a txt saying see you dont even make the effort so just dont bother with me .. and then i said i dont plan on it and he said ok bye then .. i called later that night when i have been with the girls and when he picked up i just hung up and couldnt say anything and then i called again and i was still speechless .. two days went by and i called him when i was drinking at 3:30 and i believe he was sleeping .. on friday i called him to hangout finally and that's the day that he changed his number .. I know that deep down he loves and wants to be .. he never disrespected me and whenever i asked about another girl he said he wasn't doing anything at all (lies) .. why would he lie to me when i wasn't even there with him anyways? if he really cared for this girl then why was he telling me he loved me everyday and begging for me to see him? My friends tell me this is his only way to let me go for now because he can't deal with loving me and then doing **** with someone else.. but everyone around me still knows he cares about me and believes he is trying to make this girl be like me and act like me and also is using her so he can get his mind off of me .. He was my bestfriend and we talked about everything together and he definetly has a problem with being alone! .. What do you think is going on in his head? Just let me know what you guys think about this .. ps. when i told him to tell me he loves me last week he just said i will tell you when i see you .. i know he is just doing this because he feels he will never see me which is stupid .. he puts his own thoughts in his head and tries to believe them .. I hope one day he will just come back and so we can finally work this out like it's supposed to be .. i mean if he cares for a girl then why is he seeing her physically for almost a year before he lets me go? I believe he probably likes her but loves and his hearts with me .. I still can't believe he cut off all contact but a friend of mine did the same to a guy because she just couldn't talk to him and try to get over him the same time .. do you think he will ever contact me again? ...
durkadurka Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Holy block of text. I can't read that.
Sunny-side-up Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Hey, Well, the guy obviously feels for you or else why would he keep long distance with you all this time? Sounds like he's feeling neglected and so thats why he's started a relationship with another woman. Essentially, unless you can physically spend more time with him (sounds like he needs someone close by) the relationship isn't going to work. You may be able to handle long distance but he doesn't seem to be able to. I suppose you need to ask yourself, what are your main priorities?
leal10 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 don't hope for him to come back...as hard as it is...but YOU MUST go on...improve yourself everyday...and find someone who will treat you good and love you every single day...instead of you being broken heart and being on this website go on...he is a past...enjoy the life!!!
Author whatislove3 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 I have a lot of main priorities.. I have a career and everything in my life seems to be fine besides the fact that I can't be with the one i love all the time.. How can he live with himself everyday thinking of me but yet seeing another girls face?
durkadurka Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I have a lot of main priorities.. I have a career and everything in my life seems to be fine besides the fact that I can't be with the one i love all the time.. How can he live with himself everyday thinking of me but yet seeing another girls face? As much as I hate to say it, when stuff gets messed up and too hard, it's easy to look at someone else. Though, in time it will seem shallow. It's not about the girl, it's about him.
Author whatislove3 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 So basically he feels he needs to do this in order to get over me and have a rebound girl even though he doesn't even give a care in the world about her .. that's not even humane ... that's something a monster would do ..
durkadurka Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 So basically he feels he needs to do this in order to get over me and have a rebound girl even though he doesn't even give a care in the world about her .. that's not even humane ... that's something a monster would do .. It's fairly typical, and girls do it as often as guys do.
Author whatislove3 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 How does this rebound process work? I don't believe she is much of a rebound compared to me but no offence our sex was very freaky and most things i did most girls wouldn't even know about and most of my friends said he was lucky to even get a girl like me .. This rebound girl is so different from me it's crazy .. I know deep down in his heart he wants me .. I hope one day that he comes into my life again even if it means we'll just be friends.. I know he doesn't want to do this and he's pushing himself to.. because every minute that goes by I know i am i on his mind =] I guess knowing all this made me feel a lot better.. Everyday that goes by things seem to be getting clearer and the fact that he left confused and unsure it's probably way harder on him then me ..
durkadurka Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 How does this rebound process work? I don't believe she is much of a rebound compared to me but no offence our sex was very freaky and most things i did most girls wouldn't even know about and most of my friends said he was lucky to even get a girl like me .. This rebound girl is so different from me it's crazy .. I know deep down in his heart he wants me .. I hope one day that he comes into my life again even if it means we'll just be friends.. I know he doesn't want to do this and he's pushing himself to.. because every minute that goes by I know i am i on his mind =] I guess knowing all this made me feel a lot better.. Everyday that goes by things seem to be getting clearer and the fact that he left confused and unsure it's probably way harder on him then me .. You sound really defensive and talk as if you need to validate or justify yourself. Don't worry, you don't have to do that, relax. A rebound can be something that can be used as a distraction, but that doesn't mean it will fizzle out. Some people are so determined to make a relationship work after having a long relationship go down the tubes that they might just make it work through sheer effort. At least you know the person cares about you. Me? My ex is an opportunistic pain in the ass who is dating the guy that owns the swimming pool/tennis club she goes to. Meh.
Author whatislove3 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 lol i am the type of person that dwells and thinks things over a lot and sometimes i make myself think so much that it could be totally off , i guess it's time to control that now ! .. thanks so much for helping out it means a lot coming from other peoples point of view and you seem to know a lot .. I hope one day I get the chance to atleast say one thing .. And I know he is probably wondering the same things I am and I have a lot of friends to speak to about this issue and he basically has nobody, no close friends at all so his head must be going nuts lol .. & i'm sorry to hear about your ex =/
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