manchild Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 my birthday is next sunday you think she will say anything after 40 days NC then hers two weeks after that i wonder what going to happen and then if i should say anything to her if she does or doesnt say anything for mine. also, i will post my story if needed it is crazy i realy need some advice slash feelings of whats going to happen what people think?
Sheppy99 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 (edited) Let's assume she does wish you a happy birthday. What is that really going to mean to you? Lot's of ex's still care enough to wish happy birthdays but don't mistake that for reconciliation or get your hopes up that a happy birthday means she wants the relationship back. If she did, she'd come out and say it. I too have fell into the trap of hoping birthdays would be an opening but they really aren't. Either way your ex still probably cares whether she wishes you a happy birthday or not, just don't mistake those feelings for something more. Me and my ex broke up last month, her birthday was 2 weeks into the break up and I was following my NC and had to give her stuff back through a mutual friend. I gave her, her stuff back in a bag and slipped in a birthday card because I actually ended up giving her stuff back on the same day as her birthday (sept 11th). I did it as a gesture to say hey I care about you, not as an opening for reconciliation. She didn't respond to it or send me a thank you or anything so I'm sure she appreciated it but it's not like it was an opening to reconcile. Can't force someone to feel that. My advice to you is if she wishes you a happy birthday. Reply with a polite thank you and if you want to wish her a happy birthday on hers, that's fine as well. If she wants to carry on a conversation. I'd recommend avoiding it but if you absolutely have too, keep it short and don't refer to the past relationship at all. Focus on NC and focus on your healing and moving on. I too when I was younger like you looked to birthdays for "signs" and almost every time I ended up disappointed and wasted my time when I could of been focusing on moving on. Edited September 20, 2010 by Sheppy99
Author manchild Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 well lets see we havnt returned anything thank GOD but i would love for her to say to me and im not replying back and then it comes to hers ignore it for couple days then say something or whatever hmm what to do? but i doubt she will say anything on mine i really dont look for her too now that she has gone so cold for who knows what reason!
Leandro Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 My ex left me two weeks before my birthday. I was hoping she would say something but she never did. I was pretty hurt by it. That told me how much she cared for me.
Sheppy99 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Don't set yourself up for disappointment is the best advice I can give you and don't make out the happy birthday wish if it does come to mean more than it is. That's all I can really say. Lea, it may be that she did not want to give you any false hope and play with your emotions at such a delicate time cause she knew you were hurting. Maybe she cares for you enough that she didn't want to put you through that.
Author manchild Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 wow that sucks lee i hate that for you jus tpray that God is giving us the best scenario even though we dont wont them! it is hard trust me i gave up so much for her and her too
Leandro Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Don't set yourself up for disappointment is the best advice I can give you and don't make out the happy birthday wish if it does come to mean more than it is. That's all I can really say. Lea, it may be that she did not want to give you any false hope and play with your emotions at such a delicate time cause she knew you were hurting. Maybe she cares for you enough that she didn't want to put you through that. Yea that may be true.
mmk1 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 My ex has her 40th in 2 weeks and she dumped me July. There is no way I'm sending her anything. I am not going to validate her when she made it clear she did not want me. Do not send her anything and don't expect anything from her.
Username37 Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 My ex wished me happy birthday after she told me not to talk to her. I got pretty mad at her contact. Mostly because the letter she sent me was ****ing stupid and wasn't really a birthday card. More like a "don't hate me because I'm a slut" now kind of deal.
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