hyrophania Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Hello everyone, i hope someone here can help me. I´m pretty lost. Here the run-down: My (ex) boyfriend is Indian, living in Mumbai. Him and I were a couple for 1 1/2 years now. Out of this time I lived 7 month with him in Mumbai, before that we had a long distance relationship (germany, since I´m german - India). Our relationship wasn´t perfect...especially since I have problems with closeness and also was still holding on to a previous relationship (basically to keep my Indian ex kind of distant from me - something I just recenly realized). 10 weeks ago (I was and still am in Germany) we had a very nasty argument and he threatened to leave me. Whatever my ex said I agreed, since I simply didn´t want to lose him. I ralized how much he meant to me (late, I know) and didn´t want to give us up: i pleaded and begged and accepted all his criticism. After having done so for a few days...and him having calmed down I all of a sudden stopped having any feelings for him. Even though he decided that he wants to be with me I am still on a loss here. For over 2 month now I am walking through life without the closeness and reassurance and love I had for him. There are seldom moments when I remember how it was to have feelings for him: and as said these moments are rare and very short and always end in disappointment, since I just can´t keep my feelings. Whenever I think about us happily together I start having psychosomatic symptoms (breathlessness, narrowness in my chest). I assume that my problems stem from a - normally - functional reaction: in fear that he could leave me I just went numb to avoid the pain of being abandoned. But by now it´s simply not functional anymore!!! He wants me back, I want to work on the relationship (which includes me going back to India, since we didn´t see each other during the last 3 month) but I just can´t get myself to being stable... Any advise? Hyrophania
engravefeelthevoid Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 wrong....well this proves that people dont appreciate what they got....when he did give u everything and told u he wanted u...u felt u ddnt love him...but u did when he was bitching.....i suspect you both started this relationship wrong....maybe started too fast ? try to start over with him...you could find another guy and go through the same crap again....so try to look at the positive things about him and imagine urself with him later on....if he seems like a good partner...then by all means go for him because you will never find a brad pitt.... "In the end it's all about finding someone you feel comfortable living with at home"
Recommended Posts