im now embarrassed

[purplelily1013]

I am a single mother of a 1 year old daughter and raising her on my own with no child support. Back in July my girlfriend introduced me to a friend of hers that felt we would get along and like each other.

 

I am not a mushy romantic person, but I fell hard for this man. I tried to keep dates seperate from my home life/child. But he was so insistent that we include my daughter and he adored her. For the first time since she was born I felt I had a "family".

 

He also introduced me to his family and other friends. He was an average looking man, but I thought he was wonderful and gorgeous and perfect. He met my family and they loved him. Things seemed to be on the right track and going smoothly. Then after a month, he pulled back and I didnt hear from him much, but he still made some contact and said things in reference to the future. But he stopped making plans like he did in the beginning.

 

Then one night after we all went out with his friends (he drank a bit that night) he confessed he suffered from depression/bipolar and he is struggling with bringing me & my daughter into that world. He was on meds and he tends to disappear etc. I was concerned. (we had dated about 2 months and had not slept together yet) He said I was everything he wanted and he loved my daughter like his own. I told him he needs to do some thinking about what he wants.

 

The next day we had dinner plans. I didnt hear from him all day, till he sent me a text that night saying he was sorry wasnt feeling well and that he needed to reschedule. I was very hurt and responded that to him. I have not heard from him since...i logged into facebook and saw he deleted me?? Sounds immature but it was still a pain to the heart. He did not block me, Im wondering if I should block him.

 

I was devastated..what happened? if he didnt want to see us anymore why not end it on good terms.. (and i cant believe i did this) i became THAT girl..texting, calling,,begging him to talk to me..end on good terms,,i didnt care if he had issues i still wanted to be with him...finally after a week of trying to get him to talk to me for closure he sends me a text that said "leave me alone!!!" i have no clue what happened and why he chose this method esp since we had mutual friends and met family etc.. the first month he talked about how amazing i was, how being with us was perfect..etc..

 

i know my child is too young to know..but why take advantage of my vulnerability and tease me with the act of wanting to be a father? i know its over, i am embarrassed i actually chased him down like that...i never done that before.. im hurt, humiliated, and feel very very stupid... any advice would be great...did he disappear because he couldnt man up?

 

He was such a great guy and the friends who introduced us said nothing but wonderful things about him..is it his illness or is he just a jerk or did he just lose interest?

 

im trying to move on...but also trying to figure things out so i dont make this mistake again.

Edited September 19, 2010 by purplelily1013

[JamieA]

Hey that's better with the paragraphs. Thanks for doing that.

 

I'm sorry for what you've been through, it sounds difficult. I cannot answer you because I'm not familiar with bipolar disease. However, people have answered you on your other thread. Check it out.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

[newdawn]

Most everyone is looking for love....he probably is too, and has likely tried before, but just can't maintain and grow a bond for whatever reasons....it may be bipolar, it may be commitment issues, or a personality disorder, or something simpler like immaturity. Who knows really for sure what it is, but he just can't do it.

 

Sounds like you made him want to try though. That's a good thing, so be easy on yourself, it's not your fault, he came to you broken, and we are all broken in one way or another, some more severely broken than others.