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Posted

Hello - I am sure this topic has been covered before by during the last weeks i have been wondering how this is possible ..

 

I know many people cheating on their partners. People in their thirties, trying to have children, even with family ... and all of them claiming to have a good relationship and do not plan to leave their gf.

 

I am not talking about the full of regret ONS, i am talking about pursuing, chasing and having affairs lasting months. Lying consistently and without remorse. Claiming to be on business trips and sleeping in hotels two blocks down the road, organizing weekends abroad, spending money on their lovers, talking to them constantly ...

 

How is it possible to be in a good relationship and do that ? I mean, maybe i am naive but when i am in love i can just think about my bf. Are these relationships that good or just a convenient comfort zone ? Or maybe these relationships are perfect and they are just not willing to commit ?

 

Sadly i see this behaviour every day and i am wondering if you can really trust anyone ...

Posted
Hello - I am sure this topic has been covered before by during the last weeks i have been wondering how this is possible ..

 

I know many people cheating on their partners. People in their thirties, trying to have children, even with family ... and all of them claiming to have a good relationship and do not plan to leave their gf.

 

I am not talking about the full of regret ONS, i am talking about pursuing, chasing and having affairs lasting months. Lying consistently and without remorse. Claiming to be on business trips and sleeping in hotels two blocks down the road, organizing weekends abroad, spending money on their lovers, talking to them constantly ...

 

How is it possible to be in a good relationship and do that ?

People in GOOD relationships don't do that!

People have affairs to fill the voids of their main relationships.

 

As for not leaving the SO - that's because there are bonds, and there is love, and its comfortable, but something is still missing - and so...an affair happens.

 

Sadly i see this behaviour every day and i am wondering if you can really trust anyone ...

yup - Before my own experiences, just from hearing about stuff like that, I've lost faith in the idea of marriage, or relationships that really last that are happy.

Posted

Sadly i see this behaviour every day and i am wondering if you can really trust anyone ...

 

Unfortunately, I was very naive not many years ago.

 

Life gave me some hard lessons: :(

 

1 - Many (perhaps most people) are selfish. They are really only interested in the satisfaction of their own pleasures and desires. Everyone else comes second.

 

2 - Some people get together or have relationships due to very futile reasons: fear of being alone; curiosity to see "what it's like"; material gain; confort and stability; sexual lust; etc...

 

3 - Many people also marry without real "feelings" involved. They think they are "in love". But, in fact, it's only mostly lust or infatuation.No real "love" I'd risk to say.

 

It's very easy to cheat on someone you don't have real feelings for. I could say I know, based on my interaction with other cheaters.

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