lorakinn Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I apologize in advance if this digresses somewhat...it's a bit late at night. I can't sleep tonight, the second night after finding out that he is dating one of my friends now. As I was perusing the internets on how to ignore people who you love, I came across this forum, and am very excited to use it because I feel like my friends are getting tired of my weary red eyes and same old stories and feelings. I decided to join because I noticed how much positive feedback and support there is, and I know there are going to be amazingly rough days in the future. I haven't gone a week without escaping to my room to lay in a pit of despair for at least half an hour. Why can't I let go completely? How am I supposed to carry on with my life (much less not fall to pieces every few days) when I have to see him (and her!) almost every day in lectures?
Leandro Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Welcome to LS! Everyone here will support you! I'm sorry about your situation. How long have you two been split? Why did it happen? You'll survive. It just takes time.
Author lorakinn Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 Technically, we've been split up since May (and I broke up with him). Part of the reason we split up then was because he'd been distancing himself alot from me over the course of the semester, treating me very unfairly. Then, after finals were over, he wanted to apologize and start being friends again. I was somewhat willing to try and work things out, except for the complication that I was going to be working out West over the summer. So, at the beginning of the summer, there was a mutual understanding that we still had lots of feelings for each other, and would continue our friendship via texting and a phone call once a week or so. Until I found out at the beginning of August that he had been hooking up with my best friend. At this point, I was still in Idaho and not at home, so NC was pretty easy. The hard part was not having my friends around to help me, but I'd made a few out there who were pretty awesome at that time. When I got back to town, I set up a time to meet with him and tell him that we couldn't be friends anymore, that things were fundamentally different between us now. He somewhat disagreed, saying that he still cared immensely about me and wanted to have me in his life, that he missed being happy with me (in a friendship capacity, not romantic)... When I asked if he ever wanted to have a romantic relationship with me again, he said that he wanted to repair our friendship first and see where things went. So, that was about the second week of August. I went through a lot of tears and angry thoughts and reservations, and then school started where we are in 3 50-minute lectures together, back -to-back, since we are in the same major. Also, we are both Teaching Assistants for introductory courses, albeit different sections and professors. All in all, there is alot of similarity in our day-to-day activites, alot of reasons to say "hey, how did this go for you today". Being the second week of school, I was getting okay with the idea that we could just be friends. But then this week, he did it all over again, by starting a new relationship with someone whom I consider a good friend. I know he isn't intentionally trying to hurt me, but it sure seems like he doesn't care all that much if he doesn't take me into consideration when he does those things. ...That was really quite long. I hope it answered your question, Leandro. To recap, we've officially been split up since May but it's been an extremely long and painful process, partly due to his attitudes toward what should happen next. Since I found out he was dating someone new, I finally feel angered and hurt enough to start N.C. (even though my friends and family have been recommending it for quite awhile now)
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