p0w3r Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 she disrespected me and I got angry at her actions. then a few days later I dumped her in a final talk. (calmly). but now shes wrote me 2 letters. my question is, what the hell is she trying to pull and achieve??? and what should I interpret this and do in response to this letter??? the first letter can be seen in this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t246157/ then 2 days later she wrote me a second letter: For that somebody，that Tom somebody that probably won't even read this: How are you？ The storm they were all talking about only just ended up being some winds and lots of rain in the end. Are you doing well？ So far I've lived two days of life in hell, being half ghost and half human。 This weather is so unpredictble，you should look after yourself well，Remember to always wear adequate clothes，don't try to dress just to look coo. If you end up sick you'll be the one suffering。 Remember to eat regularly，don't always skip meals，thats bad for your health，you are already pretty skinny。 Remember to always to get lots of rest and sleep on time，you are always pretty tired, you are always like able to sleep anywhere and anytime. Remember to don't do stupid and rebellious things that annoys your dad，you'll be the one that ends up paying the price.。 Remember to be happy everyday。although I can't interpret whether you are genuinely happy or not。 Hulucat，that place，I think you would still remember。 Silvia Park，is actually really far。 Those places，I was so spoiled by you before，You took me to go this and this place, and you took me to there，now all had become memories so profound its suffocating. the memories, they exist everywhere Did you finish those candys we bought ？I only just started eating that packet of skittles，its so sour。 Do you still go to that other candy shop? I still haven't finished those plums. We promised each other that we would go to all those places。we promised each other that we'd be together all the way into the future。 You had said to me that you'd never let me leave you。You had said to me that you would be the only person in this city that I could trust and depend on. You had said you would look after me You had said to me that you would tell me a bedtime story each night. You had said so much and so much. As for now, you have not accoomplished all those things so you are prepared to leave？ Is it that too much time was spent bathing in all the happy moments, already forgetting to notice that actually the time has has gone by so fast Is it that we are all wrong that we didn't act in the correct manner to face all this. Sorry that I was too selfish, too concerned with trying to change you into the the way I want you to become and satisfied with, but had forgot to think about whether you'd like it or not. Sorry that I was ways did not think about how you felt. Sorry that no matter how many sorrys I say, things cannot be changed. Sorry that in the end you were still disappointed in me. Its my fault. Maybe, the choice that you've made ，was a good choice for you。 I always wanted too much. Brought so much trouble and inconvenience to your life。 Really, I'm sorry Apologies. From now on there will never be anyone sending you texts asking for you。 From now on there will never be anyone arguing with you over texts.。 There will never be anyone doing things that makes you upset and angry. There will never be anyone dragging you to go to this place and that place. After, "see you next time", was said But then suddenly realised there won't be a next time you need to be good, need to remember to be happy。 although I know in the future we'll never meet again，even though this city is so small。 ［This small scar, will heal quickly。］ By (her name) what the hell is she trying to achieve? make me feel sad? make me feel happy? what? and what should I react to all this????? what would you think if you received this letter? (she posted this to her facebook and I came across it,I think she didnt allow access to this to other people on facebook except me) thanks confused.
Ajax Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Well my initial thought is that this girl's a real winner. And by winner I mean that if they had a contest for sociopaths she would take the prize. She's clearly all about herself. She's trying to twist you into thinking you're victimizing her. It's a power play. She only cares about getting what she wants. Find some way of cutting her off.
Oxo Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 What I don't get is that she doesn't realise that by cheating on you, she effectively ended the relationship. It looks to me like she knows she f***ed up bad and does feel guilty BUT she is trying to project that onto you and make you feel guilty for not being with her. In terms of how to respond, I would keep it short and sweet. "I got your letter. I need some time to myself so please don't contact me, I will contact you when I'm ready. Take care." That is only if you want a friendship down the road. If not, just delete her from everything and ignore any attempts at contact.
CLC2008 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 What I don't get is that she doesn't realise that by cheating on you, she effectively ended the relationship. It looks to me like she knows she f***ed up bad and does feel guilty BUT she is trying to project that onto you and make you feel guilty for not being with her. In terms of how to respond, I would keep it short and sweet. "I got your letter. I need some time to myself so please don't contact me, I will contact you when I'm ready. Take care." That is only if you want a friendship down the road. If not, just delete her from everything and ignore any attempts at contact. I agree. Same thing happened to me (though there was no cheating involved), I was trying to establish the "what are we" with a guy I had been seeing and in his response, it was like he was trying to turn everything back on me. He even went so far as to accuse me of being (for lack of a better term) deceitful, because I wasn't upfront with him that I smoked ciggs. Interestingly enough that he brought it up during the "what are we" convo, versus when he did find out. He never said a word about it thereafter and didn't mind being physically intimate with me, so....:cool:
Trovador Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 She wanted to cheat and be able to keep you... But why are you doubting? Do you need more than cheating? Just ignore her, man, don't pay attention to letters and words but to actions...
Author p0w3r Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 What I don't get is that she doesn't realise that by cheating on you, she effectively ended the relationship. It looks to me like she knows she f***ed up bad and does feel guilty BUT she is trying to project that onto you and make you feel guilty for not being with her. In terms of how to respond, I would keep it short and sweet. "I got your letter. I need some time to myself so please don't contact me, I will contact you when I'm ready. Take care." That is only if you want a friendship down the road. If not, just delete her from everything and ignore any attempts at contact. I am not going to even reply anything to the letter. Any reply would have indicated to her clearly that I read it and took everythign into consideration. if I dont reply, she probably still thinks i have read it and took it into my mind, but at least she never gets confirmation and there is doubt to whether I'd have actually read it or not even though i saw it. I don't think friendship down the road is possible. Because I owe her a VERY valuable scarf and soon I'll confess to her that I lost it. she said she would hate me if I lost it and I fully expect her to hate me when she finds out. So, yea. But how was she trying to project the guilt onto me? she mentioned herself that she thought she was bad in trying to change me etc, and not considering my feelings. she even mentioned those things like now no one will argue with u over txts and no one will do things that annoy you. thanks.
Author p0w3r Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 She wanted to cheat and be able to keep you... But why are you doubting? Do you need more than cheating? Just ignore her, man, don't pay attention to letters and words but to actions... indeed she did. but then she got hurt after I dumped her. She obviously thought I was still gonna keep her around even though she did it to me. well, too bad, I gave her chances before but she commit the same mistakes again. Its over. but I hope she gets the fact that she was the one that was wrong. do you think she got the message?
Author p0w3r Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 I agree. Same thing happened to me (though there was no cheating involved), I was trying to establish the "what are we" with a guy I had been seeing and in his response, it was like he was trying to turn everything back on me. He even went so far as to accuse me of being (for lack of a better term) deceitful, because I wasn't upfront with him that I smoked ciggs. Interestingly enough that he brought it up during the "what are we" convo, versus when he did find out. He never said a word about it thereafter and didn't mind being physically intimate with me, so....:cool: but does it make it awkward how you guys had such a conversation where he projected u as everything guilty? I'd imagined u'd have lost respect for him as he believes u are the guilty one and yet acts intimate with you.
Trovador Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Honestly, man, stop wondering about her actions and reactions, it is so demanding emotionally! Chill out a bit, all the time you used to spend and waste on her now it is yours now, do something for yourself these days, read, write, jog, whatever... then, if you want, think of your broken relationship but my advice is to run away from her, I know I would do that, maybe because I think cheating is the ultimate betrayal... what else is there after that? To kill you?
VeveCakes Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I find it weird the only thing she seems to be able to say she enjoyed about you was that you took her places. She doesn't once talk about you, as a person, who you are or what she loved about you...just that you took her all these cool places. This chick is a user and straight up lame.
Author p0w3r Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 I find it weird the only thing she seems to be able to say she enjoyed about you was that you took her places. She doesn't once talk about you, as a person, who you are or what she loved about you...just that you took her all these cool places. This chick is a user and straight up lame. I kind of thought about that. But when we were together I loved her and I was willing to do a lot of things for her (if not everything) even if she loved me or not. I thought I loved her and she is my girlfriend, so the sacrifices was worth it. Does this strike you as a legitimate reason? Or was I just simply stupid to just give and not get much in return? I feel used. (but I did all the things for her cos I loved her).
Author p0w3r Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 question: Should i write a letter back saying how much pain she caused me and how much i had sacrificed for her and how she ruined my life. So i can make her feel bad and guilty?
Author p0w3r Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 Put it bluntly: she was a b!tch who took advantage of me and used me while we were together. I thought I loved her and so I wouldn't mind sacrificing all kinds of things for her even without getting much in return. Truth to be told, I bought and did all this and that for her and she didn't do too much for me in return. She's written a letter to me saying shes sorry but then tried to push the blame on me later on in that letter. But she was the only and only person in the relationship who ruined the relationship. Now I feel like writing a letter to her saying how much she had ruined my life and how much of a B1TCH she was while I loved her and how much of a a@@hole she was to me. Should I? (shes a dramam queen so either, she feels bad about what she did, or, she could gain a sense of self-satisfaction about what how I was affected by her)
Lost Fish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 question: Should i write a letter back saying how much pain she caused me and how much i had sacrificed for her and how she ruined my life. So i can make her feel bad and guilty? Uhh... no. Go NC. Put her out of your mind. You drag yourself down even communicating with her right now. ALSO BLOCK/DELETE HER FACEBOOK!
Space Ritual Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Dude, You do NOTHING..... Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt. While I empathize with your desire to seeks some sort of closure, closure is fleeting at best, and rarely if ever is achieved. Time for complete and utter NO CONTACT. Ajax is spot on in that it's all about her. And for those types of people any attention, negative or positive, is still attention. Please spare your self any further heartache and move on without so much as a word. It will be tough, no doubt about it. But you will be back at square one if you have any contact with her. Make her insignificant. delete and block email addresses, FB, Myspace, phone number.....make her a ghost. It is the only way or she will come back more times than Rasputin if you allow her and just like the mad monk she will be ever increasingly become more difficult to rid yourself of.
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