Maintaining closeness

[terra]

When you can't be physically close to someone I feel it's much more difficult for me to feel that closeness that seems to come with ease when you are together.

What kinds of things do you do in your LDR to feel close? It definitely takes more effort when simply holding hands or hugging isn't an option.

[aerogurl87]

Good question. For me and my boyfriend we do a few things.

 

1) We constantly text each other throughout the day to inform each other on what is going on in our lives. It's not the same as being able to be there and experience things with him, but it does give me a bigger window into his world.

2) When texting or talking on msn we talk alot about what we'd do if we were together right then and there. Basically we'll be talking and if he mentions something like how his back hurts I'll type (if on msn) or text him something like "awww *massages your back*" It's not much, but it helps.

3) We talk on skype or the phone every day. Not a day has gone by since we first talked on skype that we have not talked to each other. Hearing his voice gives me hope and strength to press on in our relationship.

4) We talk in depth on what is bothering us or what issues we may be facing in life. And then we listen, encourage one another, and help one another to come to a solution that may help the other.

5) We reference the future quite a bit. My boyfriend will be talking about how he doesn't want to get out of bed and then he'll call it our bed and say he can't wait to wake up next to me everyday. Or I'll be talking about making dinner and then tell him how I can't wait to cook him dinner every night when he gets home from work. Little things like that.

 

That's 5 things I can think of off the top of my head other than phone sex, sexy texts, and pictures. But those help us maintain sexual closeness more than emotional and mental closeness.

[chelle21689]

Basically like Aerogurl said.

 

1. Spend time together at the end of your day if possible with skype, phone conversations, online games, etc. I feel the most close to him at night when we're both ending our day together.

2. Text and talk throughout the day. Doesn't have to be lengthy conversations. More like a "Hey what's up?" or "Hey I love you" kind of thing. Just small little conversations every few hours. Usually we chit chat in the afternoon, evening, and later evening before bed.

[Romance]

It's hard for me. we do text all day and talk on the phone, even just for a few minutes, most nights of the week before we go to sleep.

 

when one of us is sad and texts like 'i miss you so much ' normally we always say of course that we miss the other too but then refer to the next time we'll see each other, or when we'll live together and how nice the future will be, we just have to suffer now, but one day it will have all been worth it to get where we want to be in the end

 

but i know what you mean, there are nights I just want him lying in bed next to me or someone to snuggle up to while watching my nightly shows and nothing can really replicate or replace that.

[folieadeux]

May sound old fashioned and what not but there's nothing quite like getting something in the mail...snail mail. It's that personal touch that really speaks volumes, to me at least. Seeing handwriting and looking at physical pictures in your hand...just does it for me.