shadow2213 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Ok so long story short I'm here for the reason most of us are here I am a dumpee, and I also lost a loved one in that time frame. Like most I should have seen the signs but I didn't I ignored them and in the end it all came crashing down. It's been three months now three whole months of me going through the ups and downs and trying to figure out why I feel the way I feel for someone who only saw me like garbage and tossed my to the side for someone else. I think that's what really makes me angry at the end of the day the fact that I still care about someone like that. It's like my heart and my brain are in a constant battle that only leaves me feeling bummed out at the end. I know time heals all wounds I've been dumped before and in the same manner and have actually had a cordial relationship with that ex (email's saying hi and talking about her son always short and sweet). But this one just seems to stick out more than the others, I guess it was the way that with her I never actually felt weird I always felt just right. It kinda reminded me of a line from a movie "I'm not sure. But I always read that you had to be OK with yourself first before you could be OK with another person. Now I feel OK with you. But I don't know how OK I was with myself before I met you, so maybe you're making me OK." In the end I know I will feel the same about someone else that wont throw me out like garbage and actually reciprocate the feelings it's just right now it really sucks. I think in the end all I really want is for her to say I'm sorry I know it won't accomplish anything I just wish she felt some remorse for the way she did things. But I know her too well by now she's blocked me out of her mind and is getting along just fine without a care in the world because she can do that. I've been doing other activities to keep me busy working out, I actually lost 10 pounds and started to gain some muscle, I joined a group reconstructing a B-17 bomber and joined a softball team with some friends. But at the end of the day it's always the same she creeeps up into my head somehow. I'm not sure if it's connected but the same week she left me my grandfather passed away of a heart attack. That was just another kick in the gut even though I haven't seen him in years the news hit hard and at that time I couldn't tell why I was more depressed. This has also led to alot of other problems my grandfather left me a large chunk of his estate since I am the eldest grandson and I have actually tried doing something with myself unlike the rest of my family. But it's led to fights and other issues which have just been a major headache I really don't want or need. I think the real reason I am writing this is because I feel I need to let it out and unfortunately I don't have the right friends that will sit there with me and let it out. I've tried but their answer to everything is to go drinking or if I do speak I can tell it seems to annoy them so I just stand there and smile. There are others I could speak to but they have their own issues to deal with and I don't want to burden them with my own. Well if you've read this far thanks for listening I actually feel better letting this out.
csman1411 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I feel you man im sorry you have to go through this. Im kinda in the same situation. Let me give you one quote to think about and if you do it, youll be happy in no time. "Success is the best revenge"
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