Gigz3050 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 My ex of 6 months broke up with me almost half a year ago over one argument and many accusations that he had against me and then said that he had lost some interest and needed some space. One of the problems was, that I was very busy with college and was having some family complications at the time of the relationship and it wasn't very fair that he wasn't giving me a chance to redeem myself. He once said that I was the most well composed girl he ever met and I was so good to him etc. The thing was, I was VERY good to both him AND his Mom during the relationship but he tried to control me sometimes and treated me like I was 5. However, he kinda isn't going anywhere in life right now because he doesn't make enough money to pay his own bills and still lives with his mother and makes no effort to better himself in life. I suppose he is too comfortable where he is right now. So when we broke up, he said that he needed time. But it turned out that the reason he dumped me was because he was trying to get with the girl he tried to get with before me. I had heard from somewhere that she rejected him. We were in NC then 2 months later out of the blue, he texted me asking what's up? I had deleted his number because he broke my heart and when I found out about the other girl, I was very angry/hurt/upset. So I texted back asking who's this? When he said it that it was him, I didn't respond because I was still angry and didn't think hearing from him after 2 months was good for me then. Well, it's been almost 4 months since he tried to contact and I haven't heard from him since. My question is, what was it, do you think, that he wanted?
durkadurka Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 1 word: Rebound. He wants to get you so he can feel better about himself.
Sheppy99 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 durkadurka pretty much nailed it. He probably got rejected by the other girl again and was looking for an ego boost and he probably thought you were still hooked on him and it would be an easy boost to his self esteem to know there's at least one girl out there still pining over him. Good on you for standing your ground cause he doesn't deserve it. He obv realized how he had no business contacting you and that you weren't going to give him what he wanted so he tucked his tail and gave up.
Author Gigz3050 Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 Yea, I figured it was something like that. He also seems to have some cheating tendencies because his parents divorced over his father cheating on his mother. He actually cheated on a gf a few years ago to get back with his supposed "psycho ex" (I say supposed because it's funny how she was able to find another guy and be with him for a long time yet this guy can't seem to keep anyone) of 3 years (they were on an off those 3 years too, so I honestly don't think it's entirely me that was the problem like he accused). I figured since he came clean about that when we first dated that he was trying to be a better person. How wrong I was. Next time a guy says something like that again, I will be running for the hills.
Sheppy99 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 He sounds insecure and not willing to accept responsibility for his actions. 2 character traits that are very common in people who cheat. When you get cheated on, always remember that it had nothing to do with you and it's a reflection of that persons problems and insecurities with themselves and they will continue to do it in future relationships.
Author Gigz3050 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 These are all very true. Thank you both for your input. It really helps to put my mind at ease. May you have good luck in your future relationships!
Fouts Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Most people who get dumped for new lovers, get re-contacted by the dumpee after the new relationship fizzles. It's very common, try not to get sucked back in.
Author Gigz3050 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 Trust me. I wouldn't. I carry a policy of "strike one and you're done." But sometimes just getting the POV's of some outside parties definitely helps. I honestly don't see the point of going back into something that initially didn't work out in the first place. I guess 5 to 10 years down the road when MAYbe things have changed, it could work. Like my ex that I dated 5 years ago...there's always the chance we could see eye to eye and reconcile but more than likely I'd only see him as a friend and he initially should have been such because he and I can relate via friendship but never again in a relationship. Plus he lives in Florida, far away from me. My ex after him is engaged, and I am happy for him because he was insecure as well so may he have lots of luck in his future. But this one...I don't think I could ever forgive the sins he committed against me...
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