shanemike88 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 So my ex and I have been broken up for about a month now. Anyway I work at a bar (she knows this) and decides to have I guess "girls night out." I also found out she is moving into an apartment close to my apartment which coincidently is close to the bar I work at. If you read some of my other posts we went a month with NC then she broke it but it wasn't anything pleasant. I also know it's a bar and anybody can come and go as they please but I steer clear of her hang out spots for reasons such as this and who knows if it was on purpose. All I know is it kinda got to me because I try my best to not associate with myself or her friends because I'm ready to move on it's just hard to when every where I look she is right there.
lvixen Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 How terribly unconsiderate of her. She sounds like a very selfish person to me and you should be glad she's not in your life anymore. Sounds to me like she is trying to rub something into your face, "look at me, I'm having a good time with my friends, I'm not hurting over you!" or something along those lines. Continue with the NC, if she contacts you again tell her you don't want to speak to her, period. Pretty much ignore her if she shows up at places you're at, unless she says hi or something, just be polite back but that's it. Good luck. Edit: Oh, and how did you find out where she is moving? Don't ask anyone questions about her and if they volunteer information say, "thanks but I'm not interested". You don't need to know these things.
Author shanemike88 Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 Yeah I know exactly where her new place is. I'm going to listen to your advice about just saying not interested in hearing about anything. As for keeping the NC will do the last time we spoke she said she wasn't coming back and the only person that can control that ultimately is me anyway. I'm not going to let my friends or her find out that I'm bothered by it to boost her ego up.
Jeff M Stevens Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 She sounds very immature. By doing NC, you tweaked her ego and now she is trying to anger you. I like your attitude though. You sound like you have a very healthy outlook. The best revenge is living well so keep up the NC, move on and find a girl that will really make you happy. You'll look back at her childish antics someday and laugh.
lvixen Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Exactly, don't even talk to her mutual friends about her, as they can easily go back to her and say, "oh he's still talking about you" which implies loud and clear that you still have feelings. She's trying to show you that she's having a good time without you, why not return the favour? Keep up with the NC, you're doing good so far. Eventually it will hurt less and less to see her.
9Lives Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 you must be on missy mind quite a bit cause she sure likes playing games. I would ignore her stanking ass. and like the other poster said...dont be asking nobody about her. she is being a witch
Author shanemike88 Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 (edited) Well I got a facebook message from her at some point last night ( I didn't see it until this morning.) This message was saying how she wanted to be friends. So I caved in after going NC I contacted her back asking her if she wanted to go for a run this morning at the local park. I told her I would be there around noon and if she wanted to join me she was more than welcome to and we could talk. I showed up at the park notified her that I was there and I waited on a bench for about 30 minutes until I got a text saying she wasn't coming. I practically begged her to come and said we should both put our egos aside and we should talk about our breakup face to face instead of text messaging. Her reason for not coming to the park was she was hung over from the night before and had a headache so I just gave up completely. After I ran I decided to once again text her asking if she wanted to talk tonight after I got off work and she said she would think about it. Once I got off work I asked her if she wanted to come over my house she said no, I asked her if she wanted me to come over she said no, I asked her if she wanted to get ice cream and she finally said yes for whatever reason. I pulled up to the ice cream place and I called her to tell her I was here and I asked her if she still wanted to come meet me. Her reply was "not really." I hung up and she has texted me saying "she didn't want to lead me on" and that she was only going because she "felt sorry for me." I'm tired of these games I've seriously tried everything from space, to being polite, to NC, to even asking her out to the park or ice cream, to putting my feelings out there, and I'm giving up today. It shouldn't be this hard to be with somebody. Period! Edited September 20, 2010 by shanemike88
skydiveaddict Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I couldn't take putting myself through the punishment you just described. Leave her alone.. All the way alone. You will never heal otherwise BTW, I'm quite certain that God has little use for me either.
witabix Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 So my ex and I have been broken up for about a month now. Anyway I work at a bar (she knows this) and decides to have I guess "girls night out." I also found out she is moving into an apartment close to my apartment which coincidently is close to the bar I work at. If you read some of my other posts we went a month with NC then she broke it but it wasn't anything pleasant. I also know it's a bar and anybody can come and go as they please but I steer clear of her hang out spots for reasons such as this and who knows if it was on purpose. All I know is it kinda got to me because I try my best to not associate with myself or her friends because I'm ready to move on it's just hard to when every where I look she is right there. That kind of stuff really stinks. I had split with a girl a few years ago. About six months later she actually put up an open invitation to her wedding on the bar at which I worked at. I could barely believe my eyes. My boss gave me a weird look when I came in that day, but I said nothing, no reaction. I wondered about it for a long time. I reckoned the boss couldn't really refuse to put it up as both she and her new husband were regulars. They used to come in regularly as well when I was there, but I paid no attention, just did my job and smiled. I had never seen an open invitation posted in a bar before or since. Then she had her hen night there as well, on a night I was playing, thankfully they left me alone. I was told a good while later she was cheating with him the whole time we were together. Some people are just strange. Let them away it I say. Don't let this girl chew your mind up shanemike, I am sure she's not worth it. That makes three that God has no use for anyway!
9Lives Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Well I got a facebook message from her at some point last night ( I didn't see it until this morning.) This message was saying how she wanted to be friends. So I caved in after going NC I contacted her back asking her if she wanted to go for a run this morning at the local park. I told her I would be there around noon and if she wanted to join me she was more than welcome to and we could talk. I showed up at the park notified her that I was there and I waited on a bench for about 30 minutes until I got a text saying she wasn't coming. I practically begged her to come and said we should both put our egos aside and we should talk about our breakup face to face instead of text messaging. Her reason for not coming to the park was she was hung over from the night before and had a headache so I just gave up completely. After I ran I decided to once again text her asking if she wanted to talk tonight after I got off work and she said she would think about it. Once I got off work I asked her if she wanted to come over my house she said no, I asked her if she wanted me to come over she said no, I asked her if she wanted to get ice cream and she finally said yes for whatever reason. I pulled up to the ice cream place and I called her to tell her I was here and I asked her if she still wanted to come meet me. Her reply was "not really." I hung up and she has texted me saying "she didn't want to lead me on" and that she was only going because she "felt sorry for me." I'm tired of these games I've seriously tried everything from space, to being polite, to NC, to even asking her out to the park or ice cream, to putting my feelings out there, and I'm giving up today. It shouldn't be this hard to be with somebody. Period! Darn...that was so ugly!! I hope you get it now. This is not a good look for you. I wouldnt bother her anymore for your own good. She needs to kick rocks. I hope you dont go back for more so you can get kicked even harder! This aint no fun.
charliecharlie Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Shanemike88, you were going down the right track and suddenly you snapped. Don't ever do that again! She was playing games with you, says she wants to be friends and bang, there it is again, the door. Don't ever beg her again, she is not worth your time, energy and loss of selfrespect. The signs are clear, she's playing with you, so open your eyes, get rid of your emotions and slam that door in her face once and forever!
Trovador Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Not to make fun of you bro, or taking lightly your predicament, but I have to thank you for reminding me the importance of not breaking NC. But come on, you should have realized she was playing you... you should have cut your losses and stop contact after the first time she snubbed you... Hope we all learnt a valuable lesson...
9Lives Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Not to make fun of you bro, or taking lightly your predicament, but I have to thank you for reminding me the importance of not breaking NC. But come on, you should have realized she was playing you... you should have cut your losses and stop contact after the first time she snubbed you... Hope we all learnt a valuable lesson... Amen Trovador!!! this game right here is ridiculous!!! I wouldnt be able to do it. NC saves you all that sht! NC hurts but at least you dont have to go thru this kind of nonsense in NC.
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