this is my first thread ever, and the reason why i'm here.....

[MrHalfJack]

here's my story:

okay, i recently found out my girlfriend cheated on me for the second time. we both lived in minnesota, and were engaged at one time, until she cheated on me the first time. i decided to forgive her, because i loved her and didn't want to live without her. years went by with no cheating. then we moved to utah with her family. this May she went to minnesota with her family because of the graduations of two of her brothers (one in college and one in high school). she offered the possibility of coming back in about a month, but that didn't happen. one month turned into two, then three, then four. i was stuck in utah by myself, with nothing to do but pick up her stepdad's paychecks (he's a truck driver) and take care of the cats (that aren't even mine). i also have had a hard tiime finding a job. i have been here over a year now and still haven't found work. anyway, it was terrible sitting around, thinking of my girlfriend, waiting for emails, in misery. and then there was the day when i found out in an email that she was staying with a guy she met on the internet in omaha. i was freaking out, but she said they were just friends, and i had nothing to worry about. she finally got here in september, and a week went by before she told me. i got an email saying she wanted to spend some time apart, and she admitted to cheating on me again (with the guy in omaha). i was in shock. so, she went back to minnesota a few days ago with her mother, who works there at a post office. she offered the possibility of coming back at a later time to stay or just to visit. but, we both still want to be friends, so i am at least gratefull for that. i just don't really have any friends. she was all i had, and all that kept me going. so, now i am desperate to find a friend (female), that i can either keep as a friend, or maybe develop into something more. thanks for reading.....

[shayan]

yes I agree I'm really sorry mike, but you can't be friends with this biacth. Believe it's best you completely cut her out during this time. Instead focus on getting out of your comfort zone so you can make new friends

[MrHalfJack]

I'm sorry for your loss and i'm sorry about what you're going through. A break up is very difficult but dealing with cheating is very painful. She did it to you not once but twice, and you had made the decision to marry her.

 

You need to remember that you are worthy of love and that there is a woman or women out there who would love being with you but in the meantime lets look at friendships....

 

in order to make new friends, male and female, you're going to have to become more social.

 

that could involve a number of things such as joining community groups, taking classes in the evening on interesting subjects etc.

 

i can give you an idea of what to say to people when you meet them two that will make them warm up to you quicker

 

say something like "hi, i'm mike, you look like you're having fun (or you look like a fun group), it's nice to meet you,"

 

that will really help you break the ice.

 

regards

 

brian

 

 

this was my way of being more social.

[MrHalfJack]

yes I agree I'm really sorry mike, but you can't be friends with this biacth. Believe it's best you completely cut her out during this time. Instead focus on getting out of your comfort zone so you can make new friends

 

 

 

yeah, my name's not mike. i believe i can be friends with her if i want. it's my choice. and i am trying to make new friends. that's why i joined this forum.

[brainblox]

Be a friend if your head and heart can handle it ! I tried that route and it made me bitter, bitter to know she had her eye on a next guy while telling me she wasn't up for a relationship ! I think about her everyday and hate doing it that's why I'm going out tonight for a drink and whatever else happens will happen, Romance is dead with this girl time to get practical and jog on ! If you keep giving they will take till there's nothing of the old you left, explore the pond...there are loads of cute fishes in ere ! peace..hope we move on asap bro.

[xinchao123]

Be a friend if your head and heart can handle it ! I tried that route and it made me bitter, bitter to know she had her eye on a next guy while telling me she wasn't up for a relationship ! I think about her everyday and hate doing it that's why I'm going out tonight for a drink and whatever else happens will happen, Romance is dead with this girl time to get practical and jog on ! If you keep giving they will take till there's nothing of the old you left, explore the pond...there are loads of cute fishes in ere ! peace..hope we move on asap bro.

 

I totally agree.

We should care about ourselves atm

Date another girl man it will make you feel good again

[lvixen]

yeah, my name's not mike. i believe i can be friends with her if i want. it's my choice. and i am trying to make new friends. that's why i joined this forum.

 

Sure, remain friends with her if you want to. It's your choice afterall, right? It's also your choice to extend your pain and misery as long as you keep in contact with this woman. Again, your choice.