mirage12 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 My ex and I split a month and a half ago and i've been no contact with her for a little more than a week. Things are starting to slowly get better and I'm not as messed up over her as I was. I'm at the stage where I'm starting to forget what it was like to be around her or interact with her, so what's left is this horrible sense of missing her that I can't get rid of. While I haven't been talking to her, sometimes I'll go and look at her facebook (yeah I've read in other posts advice about defriending/blocking her, etc but somehow the NC is already hard enough that I can't bring myself to do that) and then I see her ex from years ago posting on her wall (probably trying to get on her if he hasn't already)...and I relapse into my feelings. What do I do when the feelings relapse? The FB is bad I know, but even some some mornings when I wake up and she's the first thing on my mind and I instantly feel like s***. what do I do when the feelings resurface, its kinda like an emotional roller coaster...for a few days I'm fine/don't even think about her, and then I do and it seems like I've lost all the progress i've made
skydiveaddict Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 If you keep looking at her fb, you will not get rid of this
MrHalfJack Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 i'm confused. i keep seeing this "NC" but don't know what it means. no contact??
brainblox Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 leave it, your just end up feeling worse ! NC gives you the time to get back your self respect and confidence !
skydiveaddict Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 i'm confused. i keep seeing this "NC" but don't know what it means. no contact?? It means not to contact your ex after a break up
Sheppy99 Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 First thing you do is make a list of reasons of why you shouldn't be with your ex and a list of negative qualities with your ex and negative experiences that happened in the relationship cause of your ex. Be as ruthless as possible and write them all down. Put em on your iphone or blackberry and save it as a text or email so you can read it whenever you have a moment of weakness to remind yourself that your mind is tricking you into remembering only the good times. For the first week of my break up all I could think about was all the good times that were lost than I made the list and to my surprise I thought up over 30 reasons as to why I'm better off moving on. I thought about selfish things she did and everything else in between. You may find yourself grabbing for the list almost everyday for the first week or 2 after you make it but it will help you feel better and not contact your ex. Also as time goes you'll find yourself needing the list less and less. That's a good indication of your healing process starting to enter the final stages.
Author mirage12 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 the list sounds like a good idea, it's true i do tend to only focus on the good and block out what was bad...it's just the feeling of emptiness or that something is missing that's horrible and lingering, I wish there was a way to just instantly forget everything
Fouts Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 mirage, just realize it's normal to feel like that for awhile and don't fight it. Occupy yourself with friends, hobbies or simple things to do. It takes time brotha, just remind yourself that and keep moving on One thing that always rings true, is that when people truly move on after getting dumped. When they DO find someone new who appreciates them and wants to be with them, they wonder why they ever worried over the ex at all in the first place.
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