teaforone Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I have two guy friends i'm really close to. One i've known for 6 years now, the other i've known since middle school but we just started talking all the time again at the end of June. They both have girlfriends, and one will only talk to me every 5-6 months and they are past the "honey moon stage" of the relationship and have been dating for almost 4 years. The other one that i've known since middle school just started dating someone going on 2 weeks now. We used talk every single day practically, now the talking has been cut down drastically to once or twice a week. Is this something i just have to deal with while they have girlfriends, or is there a particular reason for never hanging out anymore and rarely talking? I've already talked to the one i've known the longest about it and, he understood and sympathized with me but nothing changed. And i've noticed they NEVER bring up their girlfriends in conversation, but all my other guy friends do. I mean i'm sure its nothing but is that considered odd?
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 I think it's a bit odd... did you talk about relationships and people you were romantically interested in before they got girlfriends? Being in a relationship usually becomes a big part of your life, so it's kind of weird if you don't talk about something of that significance to your good friends. My best guy friend and I aren't in relationships at the moment but when we are, we always talk about our SO, and when we're not, we're always talking about who we're dating/our love interests.
Tayla Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 The time dynamics may change as the guys will spend time to build the foundation of their current relationship. In their minds they already built the friendship foundation with you. So that is their persective. Some guys are also very private about the current loved one. Respect that. Now for you , its probably odd and deserves acknowledged. I personally just adjust when they go thru these times and know that in my heart they are still my friend and the door is left open for them. Now if they write you off after awhile...the door gets locked and life goes on.
that girl Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Lots of people cocoon when they first enter a relationship. Sometimes friendships that aren't that important are left by the wayside when a new relationship starts up. The other issue is that you might be the surrogate girlfriend. Talking on the phone everyday kind of suggests that you fill the girlfriend role when a real one isn't around.
dispatch3d Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 if you wanted to hang out with him every day you should have dated him. You didn't, he found someone who was interested, and now you are actually just behaving like normal friends would. Talking once/week is totally normal.
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