mychoo1 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 So my marriage has been really rocky throughout. It's one of those where no matter how much I do or how hard I try it's never enough. The house is never clean enough or organized enough. He wants it to look like a model home, But I have 3 children, the are 9,5, and 3. I do spend at least 3 hours a day cleaning, but they are like tornadoes in my house. He also refuses to help at all. And I mean to the point that he wont even throw his own trash in the garbage. His excuse is he has too many other things on his mind with work. He is self employed. I don't even think the real issue here is the house or maybe even what I do here. The kitchen is always clean, floors are clean , laundry done. It's more like he's finding reasons to leave the house. He will find any one little thing like a Pan left from dinner on the stove, or maybe the kids stuffed their toys in a kitchen drawer and he says its a disaster and throws a fit and storms out of the house. Sometimes he will take all of the drawers in the kitchen and cabinets and throw everything on the floor , while he sits there and tells the kids what a failure I am, and then he storms out. Its usually at night and then he doesn't come home until 4-5 the next morning, or even for a couple days. I don't confront him. I just take the kids and leave and drive around or if they are sleeping I stay in the bedroom until he leaves. The minute I do confront him I get called every name in the book. I am white and he is asian, so he calls me white trash or tells me to go get a trailer. I am busy around my house from the time I get up until the time I go to sleep. His birthday was yesterday, we cooked breakfast for him and then the kids baked him a cake. We went out for dinner, and he gave everyone the silent treatment, then when we got home for cake, he just sat on the computer and waited for the kids to go to bed. He said he had work to do and left until 5 this morning. I'm irate. We tried really hard to give him a nice day and he treated us all like garbage. I feel like he was leaving to see someone. But I just let him go because if I make him mad it can get really nasty. I dont need my kids hearing him call me every name he can think of. Not to mention if he snaps then it has gotten physical before a couple of times. On top of it all I have been catching him in lies. He goes through craigslist, and backpage, and saves the listings to his email (at least the email I can see) and says its nothing. He is just bored. But I have been catching him lying to me about other things lately. It may not seem like such a huge deal, but we had a competition at our road course here. One I was looking forward to all year. He took my car and was supposed to bleed the brakes, change the pads and put in a sway bar. ON the morning of the race, he says he did not have time and I am running on old pads that were nearly gone. I looked and they looked new, but maybe I was wrong. So I took it easy on the track figuring my brakes were due to go out any minute. At the end of the day he tells me that he did replace everything. He had me scared of my car, and ensured my lap times were crap. I think because he knew my best time was better than his. I didn't even know what to think after that except that it's probably proof that he is lying to me about everything else. I am coming to a point here where I cant even stand to look at him, and it's almost pointless to confront him or even try and talk to him. He just tells me I'm crazy or that if I leave I will get nothing. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place here.
Recommended Posts