Hersheys Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 What's wrong with me? I can't seem to get myself together. Short cut to my story: Two events happend in under a month - last week of March my ex broke up with me. Then April came and I lost my job. It's been 5 months since all these things happened and I'm still nowhere near recovery. No contact with the ex since the day he broke up with me except for an email from him back in May asking about my job loss to which I did not respond to. I started on my new job a week ago. I really thought that I'd be feeling better soon as I get a new job as there's a distraction and new focus. But I'm nowhere near feeling better. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I'm feeling even more depressed. I've been close to bursting to tears many times while in the office and had to go to the loo frequently just to compose and control myself for my tears not to well up. Earlier my boss was explaining something to me and I wasn't even listening to him, I was just thinking about the ex. I'm missing my ex and we've been NC for 5 months now. I want to contact my ex just to bring the good times back but I know that ain't gonna happen. I miss my old job and the life I had. The past couple of months have been horrible and it's been a while I should be feeling ok by now but I'm not. Is there hope for the sadness to lessen? I should have recovered by now but I feel like it's getting more and more difficult to cope
Buccaneer55 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 There is hope for the sadness to end. It's just a matter of time, patience and courage for your spirits to fight back and not accept the pain any longer. Everyone's timetable is different. Just think properly and be patient. I would second this. No two people handle things the same way. Some people get over things rather quickly as if nothing in this world could ever bother them, and others just can't stop having things eat at them. Don't beat yourself up because you feel like you should have already. Time is going to be your eventual healer to all of this, and you will get there one day.
Author Hersheys Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 There is hope for the sadness to end. It's just a matter of time, patience and courage for your spirits to fight back and not accept the pain any longer. Everyone's timetable is different. Just think properly and be patient. I hope so. It's just frustrating that each time it gets harder to cope with and the dynamics of the break up that I have to deal with gets more difficult. Years ago I went through a break up with my ex-ex, it was horrible at that time but this time I find that this break up with the ex is a lot tougher because I'm trying to find I don't know - a closure or validation I guess that I somehow meant something.
Author Hersheys Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 I would second this. No two people handle things the same way. Some people get over things rather quickly as if nothing in this world could ever bother them, and others just can't stop having things eat at them. Don't beat yourself up because you feel like you should have already. Time is going to be your eventual healer to all of this, and you will get there one day. You're right, I've been beating myself too much. I should because the months of March and April (breakup,job loss) were like an amalgamation of all the stupidest things I could possibly do. I feel like there's no way I could make up for my mistakes. If only I handled myself properly during those crucial months... Everyday and everywhere I go I get reminders of the ex and how life used to be with him. I'm beginning to accept and adjust to this whole set of emotions that I have for months now. It just too painful and tiring to force myself to enjoy and be happy about things.
Recommended Posts