BHR Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 (edited) Well, I have a situation that has really been bugging me. I had been dating this girl for about 6 weeks. one friday I stayed at her house and we had planned on spending saturday together. Sat morning she was feeling ill and so i kind of took it that we probably werent going to do anything so i left. she told me that if i found something else to do to go ahead and do it since she was feeling bad. i said that i would stop by later and she told me to call first as she might not be home, she has something that she was maybe gonna help her GF with. couple hours later i talked to her and she said she was with her GF and feeling better that she was going to this guy she works with's birthday party, that she felt kind of obligated to go, they are all in the same military unit together and she says she had blown off hanging with him and his friends many times. anyways, i was a little put off that she chose to do that over hang with me since she was feeling better but I didnt say anything.Well i went to a friends house to hang because it was really buggin me and got home about 1030.i texted her to say goodnight and she texted me right back saying the same. I asked if she was home and she said" not quite, im with my GF". i said are you guys still at the party and she said they had to go pick someone up. Well at this point my mind is spinning and im thinking all kinds of stuff, i just had a feeling in my "gut" that something wasnt right. the thing is im a little naturally untrusting as it is so i dont always trust my feelings. I did something that i should have never done, and i am ashamed to say that about 1230 i drove by her place to see if she was still out and her car was gone. i didnt sleep at all that night so about 145ish i was headed back to her place again and by freak chance i pulled up behind her on the highway, she was headed back towards her place.so i turned off and headed home. the next day i texted her and said that it bothered me because i felt like she blew me off to go to this party instead of hang out with me.i didnt mention that i went by her place for obvious reasons. she said she was so so sorry and that she never meant to hurt me. she said "I went with my GF to the party,I never should have gone, I should have just had her drive me back home".The thing that gets me is that Im not sure why she would have needed her GF to drive her back home since she had driven her car.i dont know if she meant that she left her car at her GF's house and rode to the party in her GF's car and that she'd wished she'd had her GF drive her back home from the party to get car so she could leave OR if she was trying to tell me she wished she'd had her GF drive her back home to her place instead of going to the party at all .Thing is if thats what she meant she was lying about being with her GF or at the least about riding to the party with her because her car was not there, she wouldnt have needed a ride back to her place.Its all how you perceive what was said. I know her going to the party was no big deal and i overeacted, shes a grown woman, but the point is i did something i shouldnt have done by driving by her place and in doing so found out somethings that i wish i hadnt now.my thinking is clouded on this now and i cant look at this objectively.im sure ill get flamed about this and i really dont care the thing is i dont trust her now. on a side note, this is the 3rd or 4th time she's mentioned "helping her GF do something" she never says what it is or her GF's name.ive never felt the need to ask until after all this happened, now it sounds fishy to me. she may have been helping her GF do something who knows.any thoughts on this, am i just being paranoid and insecure/possesive?? Edited September 17, 2010 by BHR
Author BHR Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 yes inceptor only not everyone thinks of people as just GF or just BF, thats kind of shallow and imature to be honest. She is an important part of my life and i need to know if i can trust my instincts or if i should address my insecurities. you sound as though you are rather young and have never been in a serious relationship.
Author BHR Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 (edited) well we did have an exclusivity chat, she told me shes old fashion and doesnt like to "see other people" when shes with someone, she likes to see if it will work with the person shes dating.and you made some good points, sorry i didnt mean to get defensive. actually we've spent every bit of free time together except for the time we were at working since we met so i dont think shed have time to cheat, but yes you could be right. this is the first time anything like this as far as suspicion wise has occured.the things about the "helping her gf werent situations where i asked her to get together and she said she couldnt, they were just random things she threw out there in conversation totally unrelated to us. up until this point that is. well its over anyways, i didnt mention that the relationship ended because yes i want an explanation, but i doubt ill ever get one. thanks for the input, i hopr you are wrong but at this point it doesnt matter one way or the other.i was hoping that maybe i was being untrusting and should try to reconcile but i dont think thats a good idea at this point. Edited September 17, 2010 by BHR
Banega100 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 'the next day i texted her and said that it bothered me because i felt like she blew me off to go to this party instead of hang out with me' Man, are you crazy? it was over as soon as you said this. this is crazy. That and the fact you drove by her house. Both bizarre moves that sabotaged this for you. That said, every one makes mistakes, better look next time.
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