djones99 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Let me start with a quick rundown of events in the past, this post is going to be rather lengthy I'm afraid. I'm 30, she's 27. I met this amazing woman a little over a year ago - within 3 weeks of dating she was caught in a lie about communicating with her ex. She denied e-mailing him but she finally admitted what she did, and acknowledged it was wrong. I knew she e-mailed him because I overheard a conversation she had with one of her friends. We get past that. 2 months later, we find out she is pregnant and are overjoyed, was certainly a surprise. Plans are made to move in together after her lease runs out. 3 months later, I propose to her - her and I felt like we were cut from the same cloth and attend marriage preparation classes. Within 2 weeks of proposing, she is on a business trip out of state and her and her ex (the same one as above) meet up in a hotel and were intimate. I knew something was odd the moment she left town as she normally is quick to respond to texts or calls. It was rather difficult getting any communication back for the week she was gone. She fesses up that she met up with him and he stayed the night. This one set me off, I'm not proud of it but I called her every name in the book and broke several items around the house. We attend months of counseling - she claims she didn't know why exactly, that she wanted to put closure on that relationship and he was giving her more attention than I (I don't doubt the attention part, I was working 2 jobs - 70 hours a week to save money for the upcoming baby). The counselor informed her that fantasizing about the past and striking up conversations with your ex is inappropriate, disrespectful, and should cease as part of reconciling. She indicated she understood, and promised it wouldn't happen again. Life goes on fine for several months, baby is born and all seems right for once. 2 weeks ago - I ordered her a new iPhone and she wanted me to set it up for her. She plugged in her information (password, e-mail, etc) and I saw an e-mail that shouldn't have been there. This time it was to a brother of a different ex - the e-mail was innocent but she once again opened the door and broke her commitment. When confronted about it, she said - I didn't communicate with an ex, it was his brother. She totally minimized and swept it under the rug. A few days later I'm still thinking about this and was fed up..I can't be with someone who can't be honest to themselves and to me. Without honesty, there is no engagement....not even a relationship. I broke up with her and changed my status on Myspace out of anger. Her mom and dad were blowing up my phone about how it was not appropriate to do that, it's embarassing etc. It is embarassing, my friends and family have been asking questions not stop...but I don't see the point in saying i'm in a relationship when it doesn't exist. A few days later - she claims she knows what she did was wrong, can't explain why she did it and that she loves me. She needs to sort things out in her head and wants to try to reconcile at a later date. We're currently under the same roof living in different rooms..basically roomates. If look at her past boyfriends, they have all been druggies, deadbeats drunkards. I wonder if she is the kind of woman that has to have someone dependant on her to make themselves feel good. The thought of her bringing crap like that around my newborn son kills me (yes - he is mine, I did a DNA test before signing papers). I don't know if I should have ended it or not, she seems fine with the decision. I have no will, no custody papers, nothing. No idea where to go from here - do I throw her out, do I just sit back and hope she gets the help she needs and hopefully we will work out or do I move on. The thought of raising this child alone scares me to death. She's a great mother. So lost...but I think I hung in there more than most men would have. When my son grows up - what am I supposed to tell him...the truth or some made of crap about why it didn't work with his mom. I feel like a total failure, I have to do the right things though - someone has to put this child first because she can't seem to do it. I'll never be able to find another relationship, who would want this drama and to raise some other persons child. I've heard it all before from my guy friends..what few I had. I have none now...haven't seen them since the engagement party. All I have now is plenty of time and no one to share it with but my child. No one to watch him so I can get out and try to meet new people. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Ok, I rambled enough. Not sure what i'm expecting to get on here..I guess just wanted to vent and maybe someone has some guidance or someone has been through this before.
lkjh Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Her parents said that you marking yourself as single was inappropriate? Her cheating while being pregnant was inappropriate
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