Caradavine Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Well, here I am, in the coping forum. I am determined to go NC, but I've never been able to hold onto that yet. I texted him already, saying what I want to, and I don't know why, it's not like it will do anything. I got a 10-week Self Esteem workbook. I bought about 100 dollars of self-help books. My mom just shook her head when I told her this, and said, "But he is the one who needs to work on himself; you aren't doing anything wrong." Well, I know, but there is obviously a deficiency, and I do have BPD which still caused issues, so I need to do some more work. It turns out that it is now all for myself, which is how it should be. I can't believe I made the decision to say that I wouldn't put up with it anymore. The truth is that I would, if he would have me. That is really pathetic, too, because I do deserve to be loved. I have a really hard time letting go of the good things. He was my everything, and we were going to have a future. I was hardwired and now I'm hardwired for all the things we had/will have with no other half. I'm a lonely android, lol. I have to keep NC this time. I have to, or I'm just torturing myself. I have to get over this mountain, and I have to move on. It really is hard, because I so deeply love him. I guess I just want something I could never have.
whoawhoawhoa Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 i'm going tru d same thing,and it seems hard,but whoever dumped you means that doesnt need you,so why would care huh? my girlfriend left me cause my mum came to visit me from out of state and inmediately start tripin bout me prefering my mum,wth? i havent seen my mum in 2 years!,you know,whoever dumped u,doesnt love u enough,their not worth it
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