AmysHeart Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 WHAT A JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every single F*&%ING night the same thing! He either text or emails me that he loves me. How about, "Honey, I know I hurt you and I am so sorry. Can we work on this? I see that I hurt you tremendously and I so want to love you and ensure that I never lay a hand on you again...." HOW ABOUT THAT?????????????????????????????? Tonights Text: Miss you.... Love You.... UUUGGHHHH!!!!!!! I sent him a straight forward, matter of fact- no emotion laced in my words email the other day explaining to him that my biggest reason for the break up was that he is not capable of acknowledging the physical abuse and that we cannot fix that which we do not acknowledge. I also stated it was a dealbreaker that he has no remorse. And the best he can do is text me at 1:30 am like clock work every night after he has had a few beers?????????????? Sorry guys...I am just pissed off. Pissed off is good for me- it helps to keep me focused on NC! I have ZERO ZERO ZERO interest in contacting him unless he can really ever look at what he has done and own up to it- Thank you for letting me vent. Amy
TaraMaiden Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Could one venture to ask why the hell you are even reading his texts, rather than simply ignoring them or deleting them? if he's just a waste of space - why are you giving him any at all?
Author AmysHeart Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Could one venture to ask why the hell you are even reading his texts, rather than simply ignoring them or deleting them? if he's just a waste of space - why are you giving him any at all? Gosh, we are a bit harsh on me, huh? I think a lot of people here read the emails and/or texts that come in practically. And I do not deem him to be a waste of space. I have loved him for four years. Granted, he has done some awful things- but I have never deemed him a waste of space. I realize that he and I cannot be together unless he makes some significant changes and I am taking care of myself. I came here to vent, to share my pain, to receive support and to listen to others pain and support them also. I did not come here to feel any worse than I already do. While I am NOT going to be communicating with him- I also am not going to refrain from reading inbound text messages and emails. I am just not there yet. Each time he text or emails- I become angrier- and right now that is good for me. I need the anger to be able to continue NC. Once NC is a strong and good habit of mine and not something I have to force myself to do every minute of every hour of each day- then sure.... Then it will be good for me to also change my phone number and email address, etc.
thatsonlyme Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Well, you dumped him, his ego is hurt, that's why he's texting you. At least I have to appreciate my ex for texting me only when really necessary and not giving me false hope.
Sheppy99 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 People who haven't been in abusive relationships can't really level with where you are coming from. I'm a 6'3 200 pound guy but I was in a seriously abusive relationship with a 5"4 100 pound girl. I know it sounds ridiculous and yeah the physical abuse obviously isn't as serious as what a man can do to you but the verbal abuse and physical was still there and it almost ended with me losing my life. She tried to run me off the road after a meet up for coffee where we returned things and i didn't want to reconcile and just tried to leave. Anyways you need to seriously consider this guys mental state. He's not a stable healthy person at all by being physically abusive to any woman and that's being very polite about it. He is proving how weak of a person he is by email/text terrorizing you. That should help show you how messed up he is inside that he isn't strong enough to move on. He's got a lot of underlying insecurity issues among others that needs to be worked on and he may never do that in his entire life. Abusers generally never want to take responsibility for their own actions or their own short comings and like to blame other things or other people "Oh i just lost my cool" Ah well no that's not a good enough excuse. I lose my cool sometimes too but hitting someone because of it especially a woman has never even remotely crossed my mind. Ignore him, this guy is always going to be a leech sucking the life out of you. I bet if you continue to ignore him and go with NC instead of making responses, that "oh baby i love you take me back, i'll change, i won't hit you anymore" crap will turn back into rage and violent speech when he realizes it isn't getting what he wants. That SHOULD prove to you that he hasn't changed at all and is just saying what he needs to say to get you back.
TaraMaiden Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Could one venture to ask why the hell you are even reading his texts, rather than simply ignoring them or deleting them? if he's just a waste of space - why are you giving him any at all? Gosh, we are a bit harsh on me, huh? Harsh? No. Not harsh at all. It's a genuine question. I'm challenging you to see your role in this..... This man is out of your life. He was mean, nasty, abusive and definitely dysfunctional. He was a bad thing in your life, did many things that were cruel, unkind and destructive, and is still trying to yank your chain. He seems to be succeeding... Why is that?
Sambo Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 (edited) Ummmmmm First your calling him a JERK and then you stick up for him? It never ceases to amaze me that the women or men that get abused always have such a huge role to play in the abusers behavior. If anyone every abused me (and A few have tried) I would kick their frigging asses to the curb so fast, no matter if I loved them even more then life itself. Lady the man PHYSICALLY abused you wake the hell up !!!!!!! He is worse then scum he is the scum that scum feeds on. When you realize that for real, you have a chance. Edited September 17, 2010 by Sambo
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