JamesB Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Hi everybody. I broke up with my ex 3 months ago. We were only together 6 months but I fell for her hard. It wasn't a nice breakup, she cheated on me and then left me for him. Today she called me, we'd been NC for 2 months. She asked to meet up to exchange a few belongings we still had of each others. I agreed and we met for coffee this afternoon. I thought I'd be ok as for the last 6 weeks I've been doing ok, even believed I was over her! Thing is after seeing her again I'm a bit of a mess. We didn't talk about much, just general chit chat, how she's going to America for holiday next month and stuff like that. I asked her about her new boyfriend and she said she hardly saw him and they were just casually dating. After I left I text to to say it was nice seeing her and I'd missed her. Dumb I know! She replied that she'd enjoyed seeing me again and had missed me. Now I can't stop thinking about her and replaying our whole conversation all over again seeing if I'd missed anything! I hate being like this! Now I don't know weather to just leave it and try to get on with my life or maybe ask her for a drink or something. There's undeniably still a strong attraction between us but there always has been and I don't know if it's enough. We did try again a couple of weeks after we first split but it lasted 2 days. We're perfect together physically but emotionally and intalectually I'm not sure we could ever be on the same wave length.
Trovador Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Obviously, you are not over her yet, so if you don't mind another rejection go for it, but remember that she is seeing someone... wiser persons than us recommend that you make an approach until you are strong enough, so you can be at the same level as your ex... if I were you, I'd wait some more time, in the meantime you could realize that you don't care too much about her... For what is worth, I bumped into my ex some minutes ago, we just said "Hi"... I'm not calling or texting her or expecting she does it... I don't want to feel rejected again, even if by not contacting her I could miss a chance to get back with her...
Ajax Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Just out of curiosity, what is it that you needed to exchange? That's a long time to go without something important, so I wonder if it was just an excuse to see you? Saying you missed her might have been the wrong move, but I'd probably have broken and said it in your shoes too. That being said, I hope I don't get that chance. I LOVE my ex and want her back, but I don't think it's in the cards. I have nothing of hers left but she has a book and a pillow of mine. If she ever tries to meet up to give them back I'm just gonna tell her to keep them. I just hope she's the only one using my pillow, if you know what I mean.
livelife Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Hey, im in a similar situation. My ex broke up with me In March! So long ago! we still talked because he was my prom date and would screw me over if he backed out, he was going to ask me out blah blah blah but didnt. who knows. ended up he just wanted to casually date me at the time, i didnt, so i rejected his offer and said in that case we couldnt even be friends, after a long summer he had a girlfriend, they broke up, and he contacted me and started saying he missed me. Then comes my thread!! ( its called"...Now what?" if you want to check it out and possibly give me advice since your a guy? Anyways, I feel you. I met up with him yesterday, was feeling like I was getting over him finally, now I cant stop thinking about him, im waiting for a text, ugh. I promised myself i wouldnt let this happen! I think you should wait till the end of the weekend, just tell her how much you miss her and you would like to take her out again, see what she says. it wont hurt! plus, if she is just casually dating this guy, then she can start casually dating you again if shes up for it.
Author JamesB Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Thanks for the advice guys. Well Ajax I had some hair straigtners of hers, a scarf and some sunglasses and she only had a jacket of mine which was rather expensive so I did want it back. Thing is I prob would never have contacted her about it as I didn't care that much and I really didn't want to see her as I thought I might end up feeling like this. I think it was just an excuse to see me and that's why I'm so confused! I really don't know what to do. I think I'll leave it the weekend and see how I feel and then maybe ask her for a drink or a coffee on Monday. Guess I'm not over her after all!! I even looked at her facebook today, 1 st time in well over a month and it says she's in a relationship with this guy. She did tell me yesterday that she had done that but said she didn't want to put it on facebook but he pressured her into it because he has a psyco ex!! WTF?? I don't know whether that's a load of bull or what??? But why would she explain stuff like that without me even asking? That's what's confusing me!!
shayan Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 oh this is sad I'm sorry you had to see her again. Listen don't bother contacting her ever again, or trying to be friends or anything cut her out, and if she wants to return anything else have a friend pick it up. I say if you go no contact and spend a few months rebuilding yourself you'll move on good luck!
Ajax Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 As for casually dating her... no. You'll never get her back that way and it's not what you want anyway. Unless she wants to commit to you, you can't handle seeing her. Her saying her new boy pressured her into posting the relationship on Facebook? Complete and utter horse doo doo. I hope you're sitting down because I'm about to say something you don't want to hear. She was fine posting her relationship with hime because she wants to be with him more than she wants to be with you. But she doesn't want to "hurt your feelings." But she already has and it doesn't matter what she says now. But she's not sure that she won't change her mind, or that he'll stick with her... so she wants you waiting in the wings to pick her up when **** hits the fan. But you won't be there will you James? Because you're bigger than that and won't let someone treat you like second best. You're going to move on, and there are plenty of girls out there looking for a descent man... just read all the threads here
Author JamesB Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Thanks for the wise words guys. Ajax I know your right, my head was a mess yesterday after seeing her but now I see what you say is so true. I'm not going to contact her again. Get this, I found a pair of her earrings in the inside pocket of my jacket. I know i never put them there, the only thing that goes in my inside pocket is my wallet. Maybe she put them there so when I found them I would contact her? I don't know but I'm not going to tell her I found them. Thanks Ajax I guess I just needed someone impartial to just tell me straight and make me see sense. She did mention that her new guys ex wouldn't leave him alone and she said "I don't care if he goes back to her" ha ha so yeah she got back in touch because she thinks she'll lose him and I'm the backup!
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