christina79 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Hello - My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now. We dated long distance from May 2009 - July 2010. He lived in Hawaii and I lived in Seattle. He moved to Seattle in July, and has been miserable ever since. Things between us are great, but I know he hates the weather, and wants to go back to Hawaii. When he originally decided to move to Seattle I knew there would be an adjustment period, but I feel like he's already made up his mind about wanting to leave. He tells me he wants to make us work, and that he's happy, but I hear him tell other people differently. When he talks to other people about him being here it's either negative or just blah. He also hasn't told some people who think he's still in Hawaii. Weird?? I guess what I'm getting at is that I feel like he's not being honest with himself or me about what he really wants, and I'm totally anxious over it. Some facts - He wasn't going anywhere financially in Hawaii He had lived in Hawaii for 9 years Originally from the mainland, and his family is in the midwest He says if we want to make it work we will, even if it means being LD again He hasn't found a job here yet He's 37 I have a good job and cover 80% of the bills My family is here I own my house and can't just pick up and move. I'm 32 Help!!!
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Did your BF ever visit you for extended periods in Seattle before he moved there? Having visited both Seattle and Hawaii (numerous times), I can totally understand the weather shock and totally not liking it, enough to be a long-term deal breaker for me.
aerogurl87 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Did your BF ever visit you for extended periods in Seattle before he moved there? Having visited both Seattle and Hawaii (numerous times), I can totally understand the weather shock and totally not liking it, enough to be a long-term deal breaker for me. Yes that's a good question Star Gazer, I was wondering the same as well. Christina did he ever come to visit with you for a few weeks, or maybe months at a time? Also when he did visit was it always like a mini vacation for you two or did you ever sometimes go to work while he was there, so things were like they'd be in everyday life for you two if he were to move there? I ask because those two things can make a big difference on how well he could adjust and the level of weather shock he'd endure. I'm going to be seeing my boyfriend in about a month and going from the Southern part of the US to Alberta, Canada at the end of October is going to be extremely eye opening I know. But it will help me to adjust better in the long run.
folieadeux Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Hi Christina, do you think maybe him not finding employment for this long has affected things too? I know this can be very daunting, especially for a man. The situation may be a bit more bearable for him once he establishes himself in other areas as well.
Romance Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 i would feel very hurt in this situation and would NOT be fine with going back to being ld again
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