tinybear5 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 so i turned off my phone yesterday around noon. turned it back on today, and the dumper (my ex) has ofcourse been blowing it up with messages and calls. wtf! HE wanted this right?! why is HE now trying to chase me!? then i speak to him and he says " ilove you and i do wanna be back with you eventauly" ...STOP consfusing me! like honestly ....what do i do?! What is it that he wants?! he asked for no contact, i try giving it to him and he comes crawling back trying to get the upperhand agian
AmysHeart Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Oh, I hate the word eventually..... We were supposed to get married January 1. I have invested almost 4 years in my guy. I asked him the other day if he still wanted to marry me ( this is after we had just planned a wedding for January 1 and were house shopping) he paused a moment... Then he said, "Yes. Absolutely. Eventually..." UUUUGGGGHHHHH. I am the dumper in this relationship. Because some other things happened that were completely unacceptable. I think that guys who say "EVENTUALLY" about anything- are living in la-la land. They want things to be perfect. Well, perfect does not exist. BUT if things are perfect- (meaning they are melting like butter and on a pure infatuation high 24/7) THEN they want us.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Urg people really need to start making up their minds. Eventually is such a weasel word. It means he wants to move on but doesn't want to grant you the same thing. If I ever get told that the ultimatum will come out. Now or never.
AmysHeart Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Urg people really need to start making up their minds. Eventually is such a weasel word. It means he wants to move on but doesn't want to grant you the same thing. If I ever get told that the ultimatum will come out. Now or never. Hey, I think we need a Weasel Word Dictionary for this forum. I hate the word Maybe also or the word Possibly. Heck, I am starting to hate the word Love because too many people just casually toss it around....
Ajax Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Hey, I think we need a Weasel Word Dictionary for this forum. I'd like to submit the word "confused" to the Weasel Word Dictionary
Billie The Puppet Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Oh no look what I have started.
Banega100 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'd like to submit the word "confused" to the Weasel Word Dictionary obvious candidates would be 'space', 'time' and 'friends' too
Don Ho Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 so i turned off my phone yesterday around noon. turned it back on today, and the dumper (my ex) has ofcourse been blowing it up with messages and calls. wtf! HE wanted this right?! why is HE now trying to chase me!? then i speak to him and he says " ilove you and i do wanna be back with you eventauly" ...STOP consfusing me! like honestly ....what do i do?! What is it that he wants?! he asked for no contact, i try giving it to him and he comes crawling back trying to get the upperhand agian Eventually ..... what a joke. That's like telling a person "I don't want a relationship right now". That means they're not that into you and they don't want a relationship with YOU. "Eventually", "someday", "in the future". You can add all those to the Weasel Dictionary too! Believe me, if he met a woman that knocked his socks off, he would have a ring on her finger in a year! It's not confusing Tiny. He wants to keep you on the back burner "in case" he "eventually" wants to get married. Fck that. Don't come in 2nd place to anyone. Don't talk to him and don't respond. Keep your pride and dignity. Walk away and don't look back.
AmysHeart Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Eventually ..... what a joke. That's like telling a person "I don't want a relationship right now". That means they're not that into you and they don't want a relationship with YOU. "Eventually", "someday", "in the future". You can add all those to the Weasel Dictionary too! Believe me, if he met a woman that knocked his socks off, he would have a ring on her finger in a year! It's not confusing Tiny. He wants to keep you on the back burner "in case" he "eventually" wants to get married. Fck that. Don't come in 2nd place to anyone. Don't talk to him and don't respond. Keep your pride and dignity. Walk away and don't look back. Well Said Don!!! My guy was getting brochures for honeymoons- sending me pics of houses for us, etc. We had picked out our rings- etc. Then all of a sudden it is EVENTUALLY???? Other submissions should be- Later, Not Tonight, In A While, I'll think About It......
cody19 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I don't know all of the circumstances, but what Don said is not all 100% true in my mind. Namely this "Believe me, if he met a woman that knocked his socks off, he would have a ring on her finger in a year!" Again, it all comes down to circumstances. My ex knocked my socks off, but we both wanted to wait for marriage until after school. Rushing into marriage is dumb. Especially when you are young (I'm 20) so we talked about it, and I WANTED to, but EVENTUALLY... I guess the difference was I knew more of when. And again, if you aren't just begining college and what not, you may not need to wait for school to be over etc. then yeah maybe Don is right. Now here is the thing though, I do agree that eventually is a terrible word. The thing is, again, circumstances. Namely the state of the relationship. Eventually can be a valid thing, but in a break up it is pretty damn ****ty. I only agree with "eventually" if the people agree on it and are in a relationship at the time. This dictionary may need more than just the words.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 My case was "break" to decided we wanted to be together to picking out an engagement ring I involved her and then all off a sudden it's we are completely done and over with. Just wants to be "friends" which is only a title because we didn't do anything friends did. I am still heartbroken today especially. Again after all the above I still want to try again but I know it is not my choice.
Don Ho Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I don't know all of the circumstances, but what Don said is not all 100% true in my mind. Namely this "Believe me, if he met a woman that knocked his socks off, he would have a ring on her finger in a year!" Again, it all comes down to circumstances. Cody, with all your years of experience in dating and relationships, we should all listen to you very carefully because you clearly know it all.
cody19 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Cody, with all your years of experience in dating and relationships, we should all listen to you very carefully because you clearly know it all. Dick Instead of criticizing me maybe you should go give me advice *******. haha. I'm not claiming to know it all, in fact I probably am not the best source by any means. But in my eyes, rushing into marriage is a very bad idea. People rush into a marriage thinking it is all great and that they love each other soooo much and that they feel so happy. But the butterflies wear off after a few years and then people think they don't "love' the other anymore and they divorce. It takes work to keep that love going. People don't understand that. And yes, if you understand that. Then sure, go ahead and get married within a year or whenever. Just be ready for the work. (some people aren't) And I'm definitely not saying it NEVER works. There is probably a case of anything and everything. And I bet more than just "a case" of being married within a year. But also, my brother and his now wife have known each other for 8 years. Lived together at least 4 of those (I'm not sure if there was more or not) and they got married this summer. Things could still go wrong, but what could go wrong probably already has or would have happened considering such a commitment and time together already. Jumping into marriage in a year (or whenever) doesn't mean it's destined to fail. But living with the person and being with them (as if married) for a long period of time only builds assurance that you both can do it.
Don Ho Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) Instead of criticizing me maybe you should go give me advice. I'm not claiming to know it all, in fact I probably am not the best source by any means. But in my eyes, rushing into marriage is a very bad idea. Cody, I gave up trying to support or help you because you're off in your own world, don't listen and you don't have a clue about dating and relationships. All you want to talk about is how your "situation" is unique and talk about the experience your family members have had with relationships and marriage. And that is helpful to whom? You're correct you're not the best source by any means. Also, who said anything about rushing into marriage? No one. Actually Amysheart was stating that her Ex said "eventually" he would like to get married. She never stated it was because they were too young or rushing into it, he just can't commit ... at least to her. Of course, you have to go and put your inexperienced, naive spin on it when you should actually read the post, THINK and then try to post something intelligent. Edited September 16, 2010 by Don Ho
cody19 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Also, who said anything about rushing into marriage? It was in response to when you said... "Believe me, if he met a woman that knocked his socks off, he would have a ring on her finger in a year!" A year is pretty rushed. Obviously, because my completely in experienced dumbass would have been married a year and then dumped.... So you're right I'm completely retarded and have no insight. My opinion is completely wrong and the experience (even if very minimal) has no significance to anyone anywhere. Oh, and to be the literal dick I can be, my "situation" is unique. I don't see many other situations of dating for 2 years girl goes back to Holland and then just decides to break it off.. If that isn't unique enough for you (I understand why it wouldn't be) then how about the fact there is no other situation with me and this girl in it. Every single situation is "unique." I'll admit that I may not know everything, because I don't I've admitted that I'm young, and haven't been through a lot. But I can offer what I think, if they dont like what I think they can just discard it. But at least I have the decency to say I'm not an expert. (not trying to imply that you do, I'm just saying I'm not) p.s. me calling you a dick and saying what I did is a way of me being "playful" So if you want to attack me, go for it. I'm done in this thread. I've strayed off topic enough.
Author tinybear5 Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 were young . we have so much potential . were both still in school ...i think when it comes down to it, were just way to young to be so serious ...22 yrs old ..its one of those things, nieather of us is ready for forever . . we'll see what the future holds .
Don Ho Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 so i turned off my phone yesterday around noon. turned it back on today, and the dumper (my ex) has of course been blowing it up with messages and calls. wtf! HE wanted this right?! why is HE now trying to chase me!? then i speak to him and he says " i love you and i do wanna be back with you eventually" ...STOP confusing me! like honestly ....what do i do?! What is it that he wants?! he asked for no contact, i try giving it to him and he comes crawling back trying to get the upper hand again Tinybear, keep in mind, he did dump you. Don't take his calls or answer his texts. You need to heal and move on. I don't think it's confusing, he's saying "someday". But the fact is you're both very young. It's idealistic of him to say that and may make him feel better to tell you that, but, the reality is you will probably both be different, more mature people in 6-8 years when you're actually ready to commit to a marriage. I think the divorce rate for young people under 26 years old is about 75%! I don't think you would want to be in that position. Anyway, I don't think he said it to mess with you. I do think he can't have his cake and eat it too by calling and texting you though. Hang in there Sista!
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