sakeeta Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Very soon it will be the 3 year anniversary of my breakup. While I have made some progress..in no way can I say that I am over things. I am beginning to think I will never be the same.. He is still trying to get back together..but I can't do that either. I have actually moved to another state and am focusing on me. I hope someday I can love another again..but it still feels like an impossibility. He was the love of my life and I can't imagine being with another. I have wished a zillion times that things could have been different. Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest .
ShannonMI Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Very soon it will be the 3 year anniversary of my breakup. While I have made some progress..in no way can I say that I am over things. I am beginning to think I will never be the same.. He is still trying to get back together..but I can't do that either. I have actually moved to another state and am focusing on me. I hope someday I can love another again..but it still feels like an impossibility. He was the love of my life and I can't imagine being with another. I have wished a zillion times that things could have been different. Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest . Awwww don't tell me this is going to last 3 years! It's been 4 months and I'm so sick of the heartache.
ouch1121 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Awwww don't tell me this is going to last 3 years! It's been 4 months and I'm so sick of the heartache. I second that! I can't image 3 years of heartache! I'm 33 gonna be 34 soon. I want to be married and have children and if I'm gonna be hurting stil in 3 years, that won't happen! Please tell me it doesn't take that long!
Billie The Puppet Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 It took one of my sister's 2 years, Just take it day by day and not worry about the length it will take you. I can see it being long myself sometimes but other times not so much ups and downs all the time.
AmysHeart Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I second that! I can't image 3 years of heartache! I'm 33 gonna be 34 soon. I want to be married and have children and if I'm gonna be hurting stil in 3 years, that won't happen! Please tell me it doesn't take that long! Please tell me that both of you will promise me and vow to yourselves that you will NOT- I REPEAT- YOU WILL NOT BECOME old cat ladies!!!!!!!!!!! When I broke up with my ex (for very good reasons) the first time- I did not contact him for 364 days. Not a single day went by without me missing him deeply. Could have gone on for three years or longer though- -I would hope not- I don't know because I got back together with him on day 364. Neither one of us had dated anyone else during that time. In fact, both of us were in therapy over our break up that whole year not know the other person was... LOL... We got back together 6 months ago- and here I am having to break up again bc of the same behaviours from the past. OH, I AM MAD! I thought a year apart and all our therapy would have prevented history repeating itself. Day 3 of NC for me. I am miserable. I want him back but not unless he is going to make a few changes. I wish both of you the best and AGAIN- may none of us become old cat ladies!!!!
cody19 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I don't look forward to 3 years of this if that's how it is either. I know one thing (more extreme than my case) but when my uncle got divorced, after being divorced a while (idk how long for sure) and then being remarried, he will admit that it wasn't until a year into his new marriage that he realized he wasn't happy with his ex ( they had children together and were married I think 16 years or so). I dont know if that helps or hurts. just saying
Author sakeeta Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 All I know is that it has been three years for me. I am the one who broke up with him, for things that I couldn't live with about the man. He is a good man, with a good heart..and a lot of hurt and baggage that he won't let go of. It kills me. I really don't know why it is this way for me. I'm even medicated..because after two years of absolute agony I could no longer take it and realized that I wasn't going to recover on my own. But even medicated, it is hard to get back to who I was before, if I ever do. I fully see myself being a cat lady..lol. I can say again I have made progress..it's not a constant severe ache like it was for so long..but I do go through waves of fairly deep melancholy still. And my desire to meet another is non existent. It is impossible for me not to think about the way things could have been, should have been..and how I could love someone so much and it be an utter failure is beyond me. I wish I could be more encouraging..for you all and for myself as well . Unfortunately, as of yet, I just can't.
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