squeaky Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'm so so shy when it comes to initiating kissing or sex. I haven't always been this way, but the guy I've been hanging out with just makes me really nervous, and I haven't kissed anyone in over a year. We met about a year ago, went on some dates, but then ended up just being friends. Back when we first dated, he asked if he could kiss me a few times, and I didn't want him to then (I realized that I wasn't ready to start anything with someone new because I wasn't over a bad breakup). Lately we've been hanging out a lot, and now that I'm over my ex, I really like this guy. But there's so much sexual tension. We talk about sex a lot casually, and we write each other flirtatious texts all of the time. But when we're actually together, nothing happens. I think he doesn't want to make a move because he was rejected in the past. He'll be like, "So, I got your text..." or he'll say something sorta sexual, but then I just freeze up because I'm shy and nervous. I wish he would just lean over and start kissing me, but I feel silly asking him to kiss me. The fact that I'm so weirdly shy about this makes me feel even more awkward. How can I show him that I want him to make the first move? Should I just sit really close to him and put my hand on his leg or something?
GooseChaser Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'm so so shy when it comes to initiating kissing or sex. I haven't always been this way, but the guy I've been hanging out with just makes me really nervous, and I haven't kissed anyone in over a year. We met about a year ago, went on some dates, but then ended up just being friends. Back when we first dated, he asked if he could kiss me a few times, and I didn't want him to then (I realized that I wasn't ready to start anything with someone new because I wasn't over a bad breakup). Lately we've been hanging out a lot, and now that I'm over my ex, I really like this guy. But there's so much sexual tension. We talk about sex a lot casually, and we write each other flirtatious texts all of the time. But when we're actually together, nothing happens. I think he doesn't want to make a move because he was rejected in the past. He'll be like, "So, I got your text..." or he'll say something sorta sexual, but then I just freeze up because I'm shy and nervous. I wish he would just lean over and start kissing me, but I feel silly asking him to kiss me. The fact that I'm so weirdly shy about this makes me feel even more awkward. How can I show him that I want him to make the first move? Should I just sit really close to him and put my hand on his leg or something? Those are good ideas. You can also keep eye contact with him and smile, and if you want to be daring, start to lean in a little. Hopefully he would get the hint! Use your body language to communicate it!
welikeincrowds Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 As much as one person has to "make the first move," that's just the first nanosecond. Kisses are mutual. Don't ask. Don't say anything. Get close, look into his eyes, and then look at his lips, and then into his eyes, and then lean in. No reason to hesitate. Just think about how great those lips are going to feel, mmmmm.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Just look into his eyes and say: kiss me, you fool.
waynebrady Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) I'm so so shy when it comes to initiating kissing or sex. I haven't always been this way, but the guy I've been hanging out with just makes me really nervous, and I haven't kissed anyone in over a year. We met about a year ago, went on some dates, but then ended up just being friends. Back when we first dated, he asked if he could kiss me a few times, and I didn't want him to then (I realized that I wasn't ready to start anything with someone new because I wasn't over a bad breakup). Lately we've been hanging out a lot, and now that I'm over my ex, I really like this guy. But there's so much sexual tension. We talk about sex a lot casually, and we write each other flirtatious texts all of the time. But when we're actually together, nothing happens. I think he doesn't want to make a move because he was rejected in the past. He'll be like, "So, I got your text..." or he'll say something sorta sexual, but then I just freeze up because I'm shy and nervous. I wish he would just lean over and start kissing me, but I feel silly asking him to kiss me. The fact that I'm so weirdly shy about this makes me feel even more awkward. How can I show him that I want him to make the first move? Should I just sit really close to him and put my hand on his leg or something? You rejected him in the past so the ball is kinda in your court now you know... I would never make a move again on a girl if she rejected me in the past, if she changes her mind about me and wants it it's up to her to show it. Honestly, it's kinda unfair of you to want him to initiate all the kisses even after you rejected him before. I do understand though that women like it better and find it more romantic if the guy is the one who initiates but in this situation I def think you should kiss him if you want it. Edited September 16, 2010 by waynebrady
Author squeaky Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 You rejected him in the past so the ball is kinda in your court now you know... I would never make a move again on a girl if she rejected me in the past, if she changes her mind about me and wants it it's up to her to show it. Honestly, it's kinda unfair of you to want him to initiate all the kisses even after you rejected him before. I do understand though that women like it better and find it more romantic if the guy is the one who initiates but in this situation I def think you should kiss him if you want it. I guess I should also mention that about a month ago, I sent him an email telling him that I like him and that I want to kiss him, but that I wasn't sure if he was interested and that I'm also really shy. I also explained to him in the past and again in that email my reason for initially rejecting him. He responded to that email saying that he just wanted to be friends, and I've taken him at his word and respected that. But now it seems pretty evident that he still has feelings for me (he wants to hang like every other day, he always tries to pay for me, he cooks for me, he tells me I'm pretty and that I'm his favorite person, he makes sexual comments, he talks about going on a vacation together, etc.) and I have feelings for him now too. I know it's unfair of me to want him to kiss me. I'm not big into gender roles and I usually don't have an issue with being assertive and kissing the guy if need be. I was really hurt in my last relationship, and I think as much as I've healed from that, I'm really scared of rejection at this point. In this particular situation, I would be so much more comfortable if this guy were to make the first move.
TaraMaiden Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Well then kiss him, and if he backs off, you'd be perfectly entitled to ask him WTF it is with all the mixed messages.... he says he just wants to be friends, but all his actions say otherwise! All the sexy talk, the hanging out together, the holiday plans.... what is his deal - is he Mr Non-commitment, or what? He can't say one thing, then communicate another. I think he actually has some explaining to do. if he says he likes it just the way it is, then he's either gay (which I think you'd know about, by now!) or he just wants platonic companionship. Which is wonderful - if that were all you wanted as well. But you don't. If he doesn't come up with the goods - then you may have to think about continuing with this. You're not wrong to want what you want. But you both have to want it, no?
Author squeaky Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Well then kiss him, and if he backs off, you'd be perfectly entitled to ask him WTF it is with all the mixed messages.... he says he just wants to be friends, but all his actions say otherwise! All the sexy talk, the hanging out together, the holiday plans.... what is his deal - is he Mr Non-commitment, or what? Well, if he wanted to just have sex and watch tv and eat food, I'd be cool with that. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or serious. I think the problem is that we're both afraid of getting rejected, and our wires are crossed. I'm sure he'd like to kiss me, but I think he's probably waiting for me to make the move. And I get so nervous that I have an upset stomach. I don't know why it's so physically difficult for me to work up the nerve to kiss him. Even when I have a few drinks, I just feel like I'm going to somehow do something embarrassing. I guess I just need to suck it up and stop being a baby.
TaraMaiden Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Take a deep breath, and tell him, "Before this evening is through, and unless you do it first, I'm gonna kiss you! You have been warned!" Then see what happens.....
reservoirdog1 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Next time you watch a movie with him, cuddle up to him and see if he reciprocates. If he does, then wait till a point in the conversation where the two of you are looking each other in the eyes. Hold that gaze for a little longer than is comfortable and watch his facial expression. If he doesn't break the gaze, lean in and kiss him. You'll have info about his interest in you based on how he reacts.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) Put a Cheez Doodle between your lips and gesture for him to come get it with his mouth. Then when he does, hammer his uvula with your tongue. (or not.) Edited September 16, 2010 by Feelin Frisky
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Kisses are mutual. Don't ask. Don't say anything. Get close, look into her eyes, and then look at her lips, and then into her eyes, and then lean in. This is how all first kisses should go... (Edited slightly )
Recommended Posts