pandagirl Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'm having a rough time, but also am dealing with things as well as possible. I love him, but I know in time that feeling will change into something else less painful, and he will just be a simple presence in my heart along with others. But I miss him. How do you stop missing the most important person in your life? I have tons of friends and people who surround me and care about me. I can still laugh and have fun, but I miss doing it with him. This is the part of relationships that is toughest for me. That when they end, your most dear person becomes a total stranger.
Ajax Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 You pretty much hit the nail on the head. It hurts. It sucks. Makes you wonder if it really had to be this way. I don't know how to get past it either. Hope you do better Panda, I've been following your posts.
ohno89 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'm having a rough time, but also am dealing with things as well as possible. I love him, but I know in time that feeling will change into something else less painful, and he will just be a simple presence in my heart along with others. But I miss him. How do you stop missing the most important person in your life? I have tons of friends and people who surround me and care about me. I can still laugh and have fun, but I miss doing it with him. This is the part of relationships that is toughest for me. That when they end, your most dear person becomes a total stranger. I'm sorry for the way you're feeling Panda, I'm sure we've all been there...one thing you might want to try and do is stop thinking about this person as the most important person in your life. Someone on here literally gave me the same advice like y'day; don't make someone a priority who only see's you as an option. Try and think about that when you next put them on that pedestal. Other than that... time. Good thoughts, good people, good times...surround yourself with positivity as much as you can. Totally know what you mean about the stranger part, it's awful. One day, they're your whole WORLD and the next, literally nothing. Not even an acknowledgment of your existence. Maybe try and focus on the future.... imagine yourself, in a couple months time to be much happier, to not be thinking of your ex and better yet, to meet someone else that can make you happy and smile. Because you will meet someone else. Stay positive.x
Author pandagirl Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 I'm sorry for the way you're feeling Panda, I'm sure we've all been there...one thing you might want to try and do is stop thinking about this person as the most important person in your life. Someone on here literally gave me the same advice like y'day; don't make someone a priority who only see's you as an option. Try and think about that when you next put them on that pedestal. Other than that... time. Good thoughts, good people, good times...surround yourself with positivity as much as you can. Totally know what you mean about the stranger part, it's awful. One day, they're your whole WORLD and the next, literally nothing. Not even an acknowledgment of your existence. Maybe try and focus on the future.... imagine yourself, in a couple months time to be much happier, to not be thinking of your ex and better yet, to meet someone else that can make you happy and smile. Because you will meet someone else. Stay positive.x I completely agree, and I am taking all those things into consideration. I think I'm having a hard time because a lot of my breakup had to do with the fact that we were long-distance. Things just got to a breaking point, and even though he broke up with me, I knew things weren't good and couldn't carry on the way they were, because we were both unhappy. So it's difficult for me to tell if it was actually *us* that don't work, or if it was the distance that made it so. What makes it harder is he is moving back here in the near future. I *know* I can be happy. But there's this part of me that thinks if not for our circumstances and bad timing, we'd still be together.
ohno89 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I completely agree, and I am taking all those things into consideration. I think I'm having a hard time because a lot of my breakup had to do with the fact that we were long-distance. Things just got to a breaking point, and even though he broke up with me, I knew things weren't good and couldn't carry on the way they were, because we were both unhappy. So it's difficult for me to tell if it was actually *us* that don't work, or if it was the distance that made it so. What makes it harder is he is moving back here in the near future. I *know* I can be happy. But there's this part of me that thinks if not for our circumstances and bad timing, we'd still be together. I know how it must feel when a relationship ends because of something like distance. There's so many "what if's" and it makes you really mad at the whole situation but like you said, the two of you were unhappy. You need to remember that. I hope I don't just sound bitter about what happened to me so I'm sorry if it comes across that way at all, I am in no way trying to belittle your break-up but I mean, your relationship could've ended a lot worse. There could've been infidelity or other things but I guess because of how it ended, in a way, it does leave the door open for the two of you, especially if he's moving back closer to you. I just don't like to focus on these things because it might build up false hope, you know what I mean? I'm sorry if none of this is making sense or is irrelevant...basically what I'm trying to say is, carry on with your life as best as you can. If he comes back to you, maybe it was meant to be and if he doesn't, then maybe it wasn't. But don't focus on that, focus on yourself. Live life to the fullest. A relationship should be more...the icing on the cake to an already good life, you know?
Author pandagirl Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 I know how it must feel when a relationship ends because of something like distance. There's so many "what if's" and it makes you really mad at the whole situation but like you said, the two of you were unhappy. You need to remember that. I hope I don't just sound bitter about what happened to me so I'm sorry if it comes across that way at all, I am in no way trying to belittle your break-up but I mean, your relationship could've ended a lot worse. There could've been infidelity or other things but I guess because of how it ended, in a way, it does leave the door open for the two of you, especially if he's moving back closer to you. I just don't like to focus on these things because it might build up false hope, you know what I mean? I'm sorry if none of this is making sense or is irrelevant...basically what I'm trying to say is, carry on with your life as best as you can. If he comes back to you, maybe it was meant to be and if he doesn't, then maybe it wasn't. But don't focus on that, focus on yourself. Live life to the fullest. A relationship should be more...the icing on the cake to an already good life, you know? Yes, absolutely! I am planning on moving on with my life, focusing on what makes me happy, etc. I know I can do this. I just miss him, and it makes me sad that most likely have lost our chance to be together...
Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Ugh I completely know how you feel Panda. This is truly the worst. I miss my ex so much...and what has been driving me crazy is that I can't stop dreaming about him, which just creates a vicious cycle once I wake up of a rollercoaster of emotions.. I really don't know how to answer how you stop missing the most important person in your life...I sure wish I knew. I guess we just have to take it day by day...grieve when we need to but remember that we still have to live our life. We are fabulous women and we will get through this...that's what I keep telling myself anyways..
Author pandagirl Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Ugh I completely know how you feel Panda. This is truly the worst. I miss my ex so much...and what has been driving me crazy is that I can't stop dreaming about him, which just creates a vicious cycle once I wake up of a rollercoaster of emotions.. I really don't know how to answer how you stop missing the most important person in your life...I sure wish I knew. I guess we just have to take it day by day...grieve when we need to but remember that we still have to live our life. We are fabulous women and we will get through this...that's what I keep telling myself anyways.. Yes. It's hard missing your best friend. When was the last time you talked to him?
Hopelesslyforgotten Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 We talked earlier today, but it was because I texted him about our puppy that we got together as a couple but I have after we went LD...we are supposed to 'skype' to say our final goodbye...but he keeps avoiding it. Ugh Panda, I just feel like everything that can go wrong is...i hate feeling this way.
Username37 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I'm having a rough time, but also am dealing with things as well as possible. I love him, but I know in time that feeling will change into something else less painful, and he will just be a simple presence in my heart along with others. But I miss him. How do you stop missing the most important person in your life? I have tons of friends and people who surround me and care about me. I can still laugh and have fun, but I miss doing it with him. This is the part of relationships that is toughest for me. That when they end, your most dear person becomes a total stranger. He quit you. He's no longer the most important person. Your friends, your family, those who love you are the important ones. Screw the ex, they quit you, they don't care about you. I don't understand that. Someone you once said "I love you" to is someone you won't say "hi" to. Meh, its there fault and if they feel offended, then they shouldn't have dumped you.
Caradavine Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I miss us as much as I miss him. I completely understand how you feel, pandagirl. But I liked the saying about not making him a priority when he sees you as an option. That's a painful truth. I am sorry that you are hurting like this; no one should hurt like this. *hug*
Author pandagirl Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 He quit you. He's no longer the most important person. Your friends, your family, those who love you are the important ones. Screw the ex, they quit you, they don't care about you. I don't understand that. Someone you once said "I love you" to is someone you won't say "hi" to. Meh, its there fault and if they feel offended, then they shouldn't have dumped you. Well, I don't think I'm bitter enough to screw my ex, but yes -- I do get your point. He's the one that quit me. Anyone who is willing to give me up, doesn't get to be with me. I just got home from a really good night out with friends. Met a few guys (in a platonic way) and they all were more engaged and interested in what I had to say than my ex was in the last few weeks of our relationship. I can make people laugh and feel good and be comfortable. Hey, guess what? I'm a super likable person. I need to remind myself of that more! haha.
lightning Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 You are! He'll know that too... A girl like you won't stay single for long... You go girl!
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