WowReally Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Why did you marry your spouse? Are you still in love with your spouse? Do they still complete your picture? Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason?
JamesM Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Why did you marry your spouse? Because she was exciting. She was beautiful. She brought joy to my life. She was a compassionate and good listener. I admired her for all that she had accomplished and overcome. I respected her. She was my best friend. I couldn't imagine life without her. And I felt she would make a good mother...even though that was not high on my list at that time. Never had I had the feelings for a woman as I did for her...and still do. All of the above is still how I feel about her. Are you still in love with your spouse? Yes...very much so...despite the answer to the next question. Do they still complete your picture? Yes and no. In every area except the sexual intimacy department. For some reason, she does not enjoy sex (could be related to her past or her health issues or us. I just don't know after much research). Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason? No. BTW, we have been married twenty years. And in all honesty, it has gone by incredibly fast.
Author WowReally Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Because she was exciting. She was beautiful. She brought joy to my life. She was a compassionate and good listener. I admired her for all that she had accomplished and overcome. I respected her. She was my best friend. I couldn't imagine life without her. And I felt she would make a good mother...even though that was not high on my list at that time. Never had I had the feelings for a woman as I did for her...and still do. All of the above is still how I feel about her. Yes...very much so...despite the answer to the next question. Yes and no. In every area except the sexual intimacy department. For some reason, she does not enjoy sex (could be related to her past or her health issues or us. I just don't know after much research). No. BTW, we have been married twenty years. And in all honesty, it has gone by incredibly fast. Good Im glad! You do sound very happy
Lizzie60 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 OP.. you'll most probably get positive answers... 5 years is not that much.. I would say more like 10+ years.. but it's not my thread..
xxoo Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Why did you marry your spouse? Because we had become a team, depedent on each other (emotionally and financially). Because we wanted to become an official family, with the legal benefits (health insurance was an issue in the timing of our marriage). Because we were, and are, best friends. Are you still in love with your spouse? Yes! I didn't think it was possible, but I grew more in love with him after we became parents together. And I grow more in love with him as we overcome each of the challenges life throws at us together. Life has provided many opportunities to grow more in love Do they still complete your picture? Yes. If I hadn't married him 17 years ago, I would marry him today Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason? No (ten characters)
aerogurl87 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Well it is good to see everyone isn't stuck in a loveless, miserable marriage these days.
InternationalPlayboy Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 We've been married for 13 years. Here are my answers: Why did we marry? Many reasons but a few off the top of my head - we were in love, we'd dated for three years and lived together for 18 months. We were done with school and beginning our careers. And the thought of being 30 - 30!!! - and being single scared me. Am I still in love with my spouse? Yes. But in a much different way. She understands me and I understand her. She makes me a better person and I try to do the same for her. Do I still get butterflies when she calls? No. Does she want to spend every evening cuddling under the blankets? No. But, yes we still love one another. Do she still complete my picture? Yes, but in ways I never considered. Looking back, we married young - younger than we thought we really were. But we've both grown up a lot, too. Marriage matures you - if you're lucky. Have we sought marriage counseling? We've discussed it - in good times and bad. But have never acted upon it. Personally, I feel everyone could use counseling.
LittleTiger Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Why did you marry your spouse? Are you still in love with your spouse? Do they still complete your picture? Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason? I know you asked for 'married' people but I'm going to answer anyway - pretending I'm at the five year mark of my now failed 10 year marriage. I married him because he was my best friend and I felt happier and more at ease with him than anyone else I'd ever known in my life. At the 5 year mark, yes I was still in love with him - probably up to the 7 year mark. At the 5 year mark, yes he still completed my picture, we had a good life. No we never had MC. I never agree with anything Lizzie60 says but there's always a first time and this is it. 5 years is too short a time span to tell you anything. It is great to see people like xxoo and JamesM are still happy after so long. Congratulations. Very impressive.
quankanne Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 18 years and just started the process of getting our marriage recognized by the Church, so yeah, we're in it for the long haul ... Why did you marry your spouse? I had a sure feeling about him, one that I've never felt for anyone else. And even when I'm thoroughly pissed at him, that feeling has never changed ... Are you still in love with your spouse? I don't agree with the "in love with" description, never have because it makes me think of giggly, giddy, silly teen romances that have no substance ... that said, he still makes my heart melt and the spiritual/emotional connection just heightens even the most mundane thing we do ... Do they still complete your picture? is he still my sure thing? Oh yeah, baby ... I've never felt this way about anyone, so after nearly 2 decades together, it's pretty incredible to me that a feeling could last so long. Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason? have taken part in marriage enrichment sessions offered by my church, which gave us the tools to better understand and communicate with each other.
Stung Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 XXOO, I believe I grew more in love with my husband after we had a child, also. The bond, the commitment deepened and changed, and watching our son grow up and morph through his face and my face and our parents faces is weird and amazing. I haven't been married for five years yet, though. If it counts, we have been living together for about five years and raising kids together that whole time, and we are definitely still in love, and we have never been to marital counseling BUT we have discussed it and are on the same page. We agree we would absolutely to to MC if either of us felt our bond was seriously faltering or if we needed the almost-inevitable communications tuneup we both feel most longterm relationships benefit from now and then.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Interesting how in love and how sweetly you can answer the questions.... Yet like others the sex issue rears it's ugly head..... Why have you not chimed in on a # of pertinent posts the last few months I wonder???? As for me, my screen name gives it away..... Don't think too much about it or believe or think there is one true love...... When things are good I am very happy and in love, looking forward to spending time. When things are bad I am devising ways to get out of that proverbial doghouse, that she convinces me I am in..... When she is unhappy and that is just the way it is.... I try and keep distance but can't stand it for too long.... Tried counseling and frankly later on found out she did not find it that useful (or more so did not like what he told her to do)...... Like James 20+ years together....
Author WowReally Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 I wasnt sure how many married couples actually posted here and how many would be married more than 5 years...I dont care how long you've been married...love to hear the stories and the reasons
scatterd Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 We have been married more then 16 yrs and are soul mates we enjoy the same things we love being together and creating a future of love and happiness in our family. from the day we met we have not parted we fell deeply in love with each other we have had our had our ups and downs but we have done it together.yes we have been to counseling, his brother died then my dad we both got deeply depressed he changed jobs and worked nights then out of the blue he asked for a divorce in sept of last year I believed he was seeing someone else he swore to me he wasn't we found out we was not communicating and we both was grieving and angry we took it out on each other he wanted to wake me up and did it the only way he knew how he wanted us back the way it was before the deaths and so did I.Being married takes work so we did our work today our marriage is stronger and the love is deeper we have been through so much together and want to stay with each other until we die.Any long relationship has challenges but when you love a person you will do anything to not lose them and all of us make mistakes and handle things different but doing them together and excepting each other for the good and the bad builds a strong bond for life.marrige is ;)
crazycatlady Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Why did you marry your spouse? Are you still in love with your spouse? Do they still complete your picture? Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason? Why did I marry my spouse? Because he told me we would when we met . I don't remember the why anymore. I just know that the thought of going through life without him in it wasn't something I wanted to do. We were having trouble settling wedding plans and had a small fight about something stupid and I complained to my mom about it. And she said something like Why didn't we take some time apart and see if we really wanted to get married. And I dissolved into tears at the idea of seperating over something as silly as our wedding day. Just ONE day in our life together. My guy was there and actually had to leave for work pretty much right away, even though he knew I was really upset at what my mom said. Well 45 minutes later the doorbell rang and it was 12 roses with a card saying "Will you Marry Me?" When he got home we started checking out flights to Vegas and in an hour we had our elopement planned. 3 weeks later we were in Vegas. Just over 13 years ago. Am I still in love with my spouse? Yes. But I don't think in love is all that different then just loving someone. I even still get the occassional butterfly. Do they still complete my picture? Oddly enough during a very rough patch in our marriage my H accused me of wanting him simply because he completed the picture I had in my mind of what my marriage would be like. So no, he does not complete my picture. He is the sweetener in my coffee, the mint in my tea, the spring in my step, the rainbow at the end of the storm, he is the icy in a cold beer on a hot day. He makes something good, better, something wonderful, perfect. He reminds me to be young, to be less serious, to enjoy life, to be selfish, to sing. I remind him to be more caring, to be giving, that with fun must come responsibility. It works. We also allow each other to be our own selves, independant from each. We aren't needy. Counseling - We have considered it over the years, but just talk our fool heads off instead. We are both stubborn and know it. We know each other and ourselves fairly well. We've been married for 13 years. Here are my answers: Why did we marry? Many reasons but a few off the top of my head - we were in love, we'd dated for three years and lived together for 18 months. We were done with school and beginning our careers. And the thought of being 30 - 30!!! - and being single scared me. Am I still in love with my spouse? Yes. But in a much different way. She understands me and I understand her. She makes me a better person and I try to do the same for her. Do I still get butterflies when she calls? No. Does she want to spend every evening cuddling under the blankets? No. But, yes we still love one another. Do she still complete my picture? Yes, but in ways I never considered. Looking back, we married young - younger than we thought we really were. But we've both grown up a lot, too. Marriage matures you - if you're lucky. Have we sought marriage counseling? We've discussed it - in good times and bad. But have never acted upon it. Personally, I feel everyone could use counseling. You know....I could see my husband writing something like that. Other then one or two things that do not match at all, I could definately see him saying those things.
Holding-On Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Why did you marry your spouse? Are you still in love with your spouse? Do they still complete your picture? Have you ever had to go to MC for any reason? 1. So many reasons. Mostly he was very very very keen to even though he knew the real me through and through. (I'm not into putting on an act ever). 2. YES 3. No. I do not believe putting the pressure/expectation on another human being to "complete" you/your life is a good idea at ALL. I'm in an open marriage for that among other reasons. He brings much depth, honesty, love and growth to my life. Also pain (from growth/disparities in outlook) and irritation (like any other living together situation). 4. Yes. Communication.
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