fabio10 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) Hi, some of you will know my story some of you will not, my girl dumped me 2months ago no major issues or fights just really our age and the need to do our own thing were the underlying factors. Now the wild emotional stage of the break up has passed I have been doing alot of reflection on what lessons I have learnt. I have always been fortunate enough to be lucky with the ladies and never really fell for any of them untill this one, Im 27 I begining to think she was my first love is that weird considering I've been with my fair share of women and am 27? She brought out a side of me I didnt know was there; a romantic side,a caring side to some it up 'emotions' again is this weird at the age of 27 surely this should have happened to me earlier in life ? I've thought about why did I fall for this girl and none of the many others I've encountered and I think it is because we had been best friends for many years and knew eachother inside out. To me now I fear that this side of me that came out may never be there again she told me I was the most romantic guy she has ever been with now trust me if you knew me you would never guess me to be romantic nor did I think I had it in me. So in short if I indeed was a romeo is he gone now forever and maybe romeos aint what women want in life, I bear no ill feeling to the girl in question and think its best we have parted at this junction as at this stage in our lives we want different things but Im left with many questions mainly about myself. Thank you for reading Im eager for your advice ! Edited September 16, 2010 by fabio10
Ajax Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Wow. Are we living in parallel universes? I am 27 as well and my most recent ex was the best relationship I've ever had. Fell for her hard. Romantically I pulled out all the stops. Secluded picnics with chocolate covered strawberries, flowers to work a couple times, baked her a cake for her b-day, etc... etc... I was putty in her hands and a lamb to the slaughter. I have always been familiar with the theories of maintaining control in a relationship and making yourself valuable, but with this one I thought I'd finally found a partner, and equal with whom I could be open and didn't have to play games. And now I don't know if I ever will allow myself to be like that again. Often what people want in someone intellectually and emotionally are different. People intellectually want someone who shows affection and sensativity, but become emotionally attached to those who don't meet that description. Tragically, seldom do the heart and mind align.
Author fabio10 Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Hey ajax, man we are in simliar boats I know what you are saying, I did not think we would be together forever but I did not think we would part so soon, and I really was not available to her all the time which makes me question myself even more.
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Well, coming from the opposite side, I feel like the Juliet in me is dead or dying too. I don't know. I'd stay who you are, the right person will appreciate it. Even if they don't, I don't know, I just think we all have to be ourselves.
Author fabio10 Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 Thank you for your reply trust me Id greatly appreciate someone like you as would 99% percent of men. Do you think it is odd that really I did not fall hard until the age I am now. I feel most people have dealt with losing their first loves in their teenage years but Im facing it now !
Nikki Sahagin Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Thank you for your reply trust me Id greatly appreciate someone like you as would 99% percent of men. Do you think it is odd that really I did not fall hard until the age I am now. I feel most people have dealt with losing their first loves in their teenage years but Im facing it now ! I don't think its weird. I think we all have a first love at different ages. Mine came at 17, but really I don't find it shocking if yours happened at 27. I think it strikes at any age, it all depends on when you meet them
Banega100 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I have always been familiar with the theories of maintaining control in a relationship and making yourself valuable, but with this one I thought I'd finally found a partner, and equal with whom I could be open and didn't have to play games. Yeah, love deludes us into thinking this, to our detriment ultimately. Happened to me. I don't think this kind of love exists beyond telelvision and film, and when i think about the relationships and indeed marriages that surround me, the men generally have the upper hand.
Ajax Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Thank you for your reply trust me Id greatly appreciate someone like you as would 99% percent of men. Do you think it is odd that really I did not fall hard until the age I am now. I feel most people have dealt with losing their first loves in their teenage years but Im facing it now ! I don't think it's odd either. At least it's happened to you so you know you're human and capable of those feelings. Teenage love is different anyway. I don't want to belittle it by saying it's just puppy love or that it can never last (my sister's 23 and has been dating her boyfriend for 6 years), but the nature of it is different. Mature love is deeper I think. As for the romantic side, this was the most romantic I've ever been too. It was a new side of me and I really liked it, but it ultimately got be nowhere. I think the best thing we can do in the future is respect our partners, but not romance them.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I'm 25 and consider my ex my first real love, She also marks the 6th GF I have had in life. She is 26 and I am only her 2nd Boyfriend ever in life. I feel this may be playing a factor in our break up. Plus the excuse she never really experienced single life (I still don't buy it as my ex chased after me years ago). I sadly wasn't a Romeo like the others in this thread but I wanted to be. I had my moments but nothing really romantic as I would have liked. I was afraid to come off too romantic because I didn't want to push her away (Ironic). I also never bought her flowers but explained my reasons to her for it (while we were together). I always wanted to give her more tangible presents from the heart flowers were pointless to me because they die so fast. She explained that she wanted flowers from me, so I told her I would give up my view of flowers and present her with them in the future but again I never got that chance either. I had prepared a DVD slideshow of her and I over the years, written a love letter/bday card and was going to get her flowers all for her birthday but she split with me just prior. All I ended up giving her was a CSI game for the Wii and then took off for vacation.
Recommended Posts