Dan654321 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) I'll make this short. My good female friend and I had become intimate. Then she dumped me for her old boyfriend. Nearly a week later she called and indicated she made a mistake and apologized for this. However he remained in the background. I won't bore you with the details, just believe me it was painful. I have worked through this for three weeks. Let me tell I could fall in love with her. forever. So here's what I have done. I phoned her and explained to her as gently as I could that she had to make the decision. I further explained that if; I were to just discard what we could have in the future, that I would always wonder if I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me, (that means the life that I imagine I could have with her). I went on, and tried to explain that the choice was hers. If her and I are to be succesful, he cannot be around. He cannot be in the picture at all. That she will have to make a commitment, the same commitment that I would make to her. And there it is. I feel comfortable with this, and I feel uncomfortable in what has transpired. But for her I would get through it. I am a grown self confident man. And I can move on. To give advice one has to be qualified. And I am not. However, this is my choice. My life and my future. And it is her life, her future, and her choice. She will live with it. Edited September 16, 2010 by Dan654321 to add more.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Telling your SO who she can be friends with, you are showing a sign of insecurity plus controlling behavior, both are unattractive traits. Good luck with that.
Don Ho Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Friend or not, chasing a woman, saying anything about her Ex and basically giving an ultimatum is a bad choice. I would say you're really not a confident guy like you say. Damage done. Move on.
Banega100 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 yeah man, you're too chilled out about her to care. If she wants to be with you then she's made the right decision and you guys can have fun, but if not, then it's her loss and some one else will accompany you instead -That's the angle you needed here. You've said yourself you can move on, and you'll likely need to call upon that strength buddy. all the best.
Author Dan654321 Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 (edited) This is Dan654321: Again I'll keep this short: She is agreeable to move in with me, and says she wants to try. However she will still be staying with the guy she dumped me for. There remodeling a trailer together. She says,This will be her security in case it doesn't work out. And, they will have seperate bedrooms. This is a $1,500 dollar trailer, No big investment. They will be moving out of her apartment and into this trailer. Theres more but why get into it. I ran into her daughter today and she told me. This guy has been her boyfriend for somtime. Off and on. He makes it with her and anyone else he can. And she does the same. And when she said she did not have sex with him on the date in question. The daughter was there when he was in her bed, and getting up. This was the night that she told me "I am going back with him, so don't call me anymore" She also explained to me that she had told her that I was "something on the side" My ex girlfriend gave me a lot of excuses about her choice of words. None of which rang with the truth. Everything she said smacked of deception and lies. And her daughter simply confirmed my suspicions. Her daughters husband also said I'm sorry to say this but it's true. She is just using you. This is what she does. She will call, want to come over and have sex . And sleep with him the same day. Well, I have spent alot of time and even went to see the trailer with her today. Get me right here. I wanted to listen to what she had to say. And I did, i listened to all of it. This woman is a lying through her teeth. Her behavior, words, and actions. Well. she has called me tonight 5 times. and on the first call I told her "I wanted to see someone else" She has called 4 times since, and I will not answer. I am erasing the messages as they come. And I will not ever love her again. Her lies, deception, and infidelity have ruined the love I had for her. She just threw away the best thing she ever had. As for myself, I am going on, I think I'll go out and socialize a little, meet a nice lady, and spend some time getting to know her. Who knows, maybe I'll make a new friend, or better yet find romance. wish me good fortune everyone and thanks for listening. Oh, and I will also be getting tested for STD's regularily for a while before I become intimate with someone else. Edited September 18, 2010 by Dan654321
Ajax Posted September 18, 2010 Posted September 18, 2010 Oh, and I will also be getting tested for STD's regularily for a while before I become intimate with someone else. Good call my man.
Author Dan654321 Posted September 18, 2010 Author Posted September 18, 2010 (edited) This is Dan654321 again: Just a quick bit. She just called again. Said PLEASE, call me back. She sounded regretful, and more. My heart started beating faster, but then, my mind went immediately to the to the message she left me over three weeks ago. When she said -she was going back with him-. And I remembered how I felt. Then my pulse slowed, and I realized this was the same tone she used before. The same lie. Just wrapped differently. The night she shared her bed with him. And left me alone. The night she destroyed what we had. And all the lies afterward. And that if I called or answered ,the thoughts of him in her bed, and the pain would return. And the lies would start again. Maybe, she now is realizing what it feels like to be handled in the manor she did me. Maybe she will experience a portion of what she did to me. Maybe she will grow up. Anyway, when I found what she had done. The fire I had for her slowly dwindled . She had become so beautiful to me, But , after that night her beauty faded and faded, until it was gone. I really don't want another man's leftovers. and I no longer feel the desire to give her pleasure. and I can't even imagine myself giving her comfort. Edited September 18, 2010 by Dan654321
Author Dan654321 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 (edited) This Danny654321: Today I returned her call. I listened to her. And tried to talk to her, but she was really arguementative. Lot's of drama. She began throwing accusations at me. So, I asked her to never call me again. All in all I explained that I did not want to date a woman who had dropped me for another man. I have to much self esteem for that. I did not want to even be her friend. I told her that she was once so beautiful to me. And that all that had changed when she saw him. I asked her to destroy my email address and phone number. She phoned back again once and asked if she had left anything at my house. I said "NO, there is nothing here that is yours". Please never call me again. It hurts to much. She began crying. And I said goodbye. Edited September 19, 2010 by Dan654321
Sunny-side-up Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Hi There, As a woman, I think..... If she wants you she needs to; A. Get rid of the ex guy B. Get over the "finacial investment" Don't listen to the daughter... she could have any ulterior motive going on! Basically, the girl went back to her ex... now she wants you? So, she needs to put her neck on the line and show it... none of this "foot in each camp". Anything less that that is rubbish... don't settle for anything less. Good luck!
Don Ho Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 Good for you Bro for telling her you do not want to be with a woman that dumped you for another man and good for you telling her to never call you again. Sounds like you're doing much better. She's probably shocked that you told her to go away. Now that's being a MAN. Good luck Bro. Keep us posted!
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