loveromance Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 So, before I'm classified as another failed LDR, let me explain the situation. I'm 19, she's 16. We have different beliefs but we've gotten past that. (atheist, she's christian). Distance never mattered one bit. Im working 3 jobs and im more than happy to pay for her flight to see me after i fly to see her family. I'm a virgin. I've never kissed, had a gf, nothing. I am very selective, and I hate that aspect of me. I met this girl online, and we talked for around 3 months. On the 4th, she admitted her feelings to me and I admitted mine to her. On the 6th, I finally manned up and asked her out. Even though it was a phone call, whew! Redfaced and everything...she said yes and I had butterflies for a good few days. Seemed like a dream. She was so perfect in every way. We had everything in common (what other girl has a taste for orchestrated music?! lol...) Like an idiot, I asked about her past lovers (I did before I told her my feelings, and just decided not to think about it. there was a good few guys.). But yah. I asked her more and more...and she's only 16....I have never had feelings for a girl like this. Ive only ever had feelings for one other girl in highschool, but those died quickly. She's still a virgin but she's done a good amount of stuff with other guys. Ever since I asked, the relationship has gone downhill. Feels like a barrier between us, and I hate myself for asking. I cant stop imagining someone else in her mouth...i feel so sick. Now fast forward to 3 days ago. She admitted to me making out with a guy for less than 5 minutes. I forgave her....and the next day she told me more. Still just a bit of making out, but her story almost completely changed. She said she hid it from me because she loves me, and she would never do it again, and doesnt want to lose me...I know she's 16....are we just both blindly in love? I cant get past the jealousy of her past and how she betrayed me didnt help either. I was so sure we had something. My friends are calling me a pussy, a doormat, a total tool. But I see a future together with her...I dont know how it will work though, because my trust is almost 0% in her. She spent 20 minutes on the phone in tears convincing me of one story, and the next day it changed. I think I may have problems. Let me know if you personally think i need medications or a psychiatrist. I am considering professional help to let me free of this jealous feeling I miss the days of our innocent flirting and constant smiles..i cried for the first time since a child yesterday. Im so lost. Im so bloody lost. Everyones telling me to dump her This doesnt feel real its like a nightmare I dont think i can ever meet anyone like her. Shes so precious to me. Not only just because of our common hobbies/things alike . Because a chemical in me is making me love her. is it too hopeful to think that there's a girl like me out there that has never kissed? I hate being old fashioned in the new disposable world... If I break up, I want to know there's hope for me. Any help is appreciated Thanks
LisaLee Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 I dont think i can ever meet anyone like her. Shes so precious to me. Not only just because of our common hobbies/things alike . Because a chemical in me is making me love her... is it too hopeful to think that there's a girl like me out there that has never kissed? Think about this logically: The average human life is 70+ years in developed countries. You are 19. Do you really believe in a span of 50 years you will NOT meet a girl like the one you met online when you were 19 years old? =/ No, I don't think you need medication, but I don't advocate mood altering meds for much. As to whether there are girls out there around your age who has never been kissed, I'm sure there are. But don't worry about these past love issues. That is petty jealousy. Worry more about whether or not the girl can keep her tongue out of some other guy's mouth while in a relationship with you.
BellaBellaBella Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Personally, I you need to let her go. She is 16 and you are 19, in the terms of age that isn't a huge deal. In the terms of development it is a Big deal. Plus, not sure where you are it isn't legal in the US for you to be togather physically. Honestly, at 16, she isn't ready nor should she be to be committed to a long term, long distance relationship. The added factor that she lied to you is a huge disadvantage. You have real feelings for this girl and she is not respecting you. The indications are she isn't going to. Not if she confesses and lies about it. As much as it hurts, there are other girls out there for you. Bella
aerogurl87 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) You got jealous over her making out with a guy before she met you? Wow... anyway, you're 19 and she's 16. Legally you two can't be together till at least 2 years from now and being a junior or sophmore in high school she is sure to change in the next two years, I know I did. Please go find a girl who is legal and don't ask for information on her past if you can't handle the truth of it. Edited September 16, 2010 by aerogurl87
folieadeux Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 You got jealous over her making out with a guy before she met you? Wow... anyway, you're 19 and she's 16. Legally you two can't be together till at least 2 years from now and being a junior or sophmore in high school she is sure to change in the next two years, I know I did. Please go find a girl who is legal and don't ask for information on her past if you can't handle the truth of it. Couldn't have said it better myself. And even if it is legal to date where you guys are...16 and 19 are light years away in terms of maturity. Definately move on. I understand it will be difficult, but it's better for the both of you in the long run.
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