livelife Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Ive been through so much with my ex, too much to say. I have put NC on alot, and every time he breaks it. The most recent time, he has been telling me alot lately how he keeps thinking about me. He asked me to hang out a couple times and I rejected it. Then on Sunday he texted me, saying how he couldnt stop thinking about me, and he HAD to see me. So, i agreed and we met up today. Theres not much to it, but we just caught up and got lunch. I havent seen him/really talked to him since like 5 months! Anyways, the thing that caught my attention when we were out was he asked if I had a boyfriend since him, i said no but i said that I have dated people ( I actually havent) Then he proceeds to tell me that one of his good friends ( one of my good friends too) wants to " hook up" with me, which I thought was kinda weird. When we were leaving he kept saying we will hang out again, we will party together and stuff. Then he goes, oh and tell ( friends name) that you will get with him, and I was like, but I won't thats weird. Hes like my best friend. Anyways, Please don't tell me, " just ditch him" I want to know, now what do I do? Do I contact him and tell him it was nice seeing him? Or do I wait for him to contact me, I will be out of town this weekend so Im thinking he will ask to hang out next week. I really do miss him, and im hoping he will gain feelings for me again, I just don't know what to do! Thanks.
Author livelife Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 haha! I was waiting for someone to say that:) Anyways, I know. I am going to wait for him to talk to me. If I do it first, that doesn't prove anything! And I do plan on ditching him, I just need to find a guy first=/
Don Ho Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 He already ditched you and told you to hook up with his friend! I'd say your done. Guess you could go out with the friend if you like him .... maybe that's too weird. What did he mean "hook up" get laid? Is he insinuating you're cheap? You can't let go of him till you find another? WTH is that all about?
Lost Fish Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Oh yeah, This one's gone cold. Not only is he done, but he's over you livelife. The fact that he'd suggest you "hook up" with his friend could be a test though (yes guys do play games too, sadly). He may have wanted to gauge your reaction to this completely inconsiderate statement to see if you still have feelings for him and he can possibly consider you as a backup. The alternative is that he's completely gone cold and is over you and got you to see him so he could try to hook up his friend. Either way it shows he doesn't really respect you or your feelings and he is acting completely selfishly. This guy is a jerk livelife. Now you need to start accepting the reality of who he is and not what you hope and wish him to be. Start to stand up for yourself and put this dude behind you. If an ex-gf did this to me I'd be pretty upset. And then I'd consider hooking up with her friend out of spite (hopefully I'd be better than that and just get up and leave - and go completely no contact). You deserve so much better than this livelife.
Author livelife Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Wow, i really needed to hear that, actually. Its something that Ive been too worried to face myself I guess. I needed to hear it from other people. Just my thinking was that when we were actually together, and he thought one of his friends were interested in me, he would always be like " oh they want you, they want to hook up with you" ( and no hooking up meaning just kissing, not sex.) I will go NC. I won't talk to him. What do I say if he asks me to hang out again? - He mentioned hanging out again when we were leaving lunch. I'll also be sure to get the message clear that im not just a back-up and i'm not going to be sloppy seconds, just need to find a way! haha.
Ajax Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I will go NC. I won't talk to him. What do I say if he asks me to hang out again? - He mentioned hanging out again when we were leaving lunch. If you're gonna go NC go full on NC. I know it hurts but he's clearly not good for you and seeing him again will only prolong the healing process. If he asks to hang out again, ignore him.
Author livelife Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 If you're gonna go NC go full on NC. I know it hurts but he's clearly not good for you and seeing him again will only prolong the healing process. If he asks to hang out again, ignore him. I know, seeing him didnt help, but he made me feel bad for not taking his offer to take me out, He would always say " I was just trying to be nice." So basically, just ignore him and don't answer? I'll do that. Thanks!
Don Ho Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I know, seeing him didnt help, but he made me feel bad for not taking his offer to take me out, He would always say " I was just trying to be nice." So basically, just ignore him and don't answer? I'll do that. Thanks! Yes, ignore him and don't answer. Don't be such a pussy!
Author livelife Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Yes, ignore him and don't answer. Don't be such a pussy! hahaha! ill try its just that he makes me feel bad every time im " rude or mean" to him. Haha, boo hoo. He can deal.
Lost Fish Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Stop living to keep him (and others presumably) happy and start taking care of yourself. You don't have to be a doormat. Who gives a flip what he wants. He lost the privilege of having you in his life. No contact means no contact - nothing - nada. You aren't rude or mean. You are taking care of yourself and whatever his opinion is of it doesn't even matter.
Don Ho Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 hahaha! ill try its just that he makes me feel bad every time im " rude or mean" to him. Haha, boo hoo. He can deal. There's the problem livelife, you CHOSE to let him make you feel bad. You'e not being rude or mean. His BF card expired and so did your "duty" to respond. Just don't talk to him at all, then he can't say anything.
Author livelife Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 Exactly, Thats how i am, I'm too nice! People make me feel bad easily:( not anymore:) im going to be strong! Update: I don't know if i mentioned him telling me his friend wanted to hookup with me, his friend has been asking me to hang out, So i thought that was weird after hearing that. I asked my ex if he was serious about him liking me, I said because if so I need to say something he said he thinks your hot idk if he likes you. How weird is that? How can he just say that so casually? I would be pisssed if my friend wanted my ex, and I wouldnt even tell my ex that! Awkward!
Don Ho Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 There is NOTHING to feel bad about. He is not with you, end of subject. You are not obligated in ANYWAY and owe him nothing, not even a polite response. Don't be such a pussy!! LOL Fck it. I would go out with his friend just for the hell of it and to try and piss off your Ex! LOL.
D-Lish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 haha! I was waiting for someone to say that:) Anyways, I know. I am going to wait for him to talk to me. If I do it first, that doesn't prove anything! And I do plan on ditching him, I just need to find a guy first=/ It proves more than you think actually... It reinforces to him that he has you where he wants you! I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of saying "hey I had a nice time"...Not after the strange thing he brought up regarding your mutual male friend.
Author livelife Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 There is NOTHING to feel bad about. He is not with you, end of subject. You are not obligated in ANYWAY and owe him nothing, not even a polite response. Don't be such a pussy!! LOL Fck it. I would go out with his friend just for the hell of it and to try and piss off your Ex! LOL. Hahahaha. True, maybe my ex is just trying to get some kind of reaction out of me. Either way, its still weird and awkward!
Author livelife Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 It proves more than you think actually... It reinforces to him that he has you where he wants you! I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of saying "hey I had a nice time"...Not after the strange thing he brought up regarding your mutual male friend. Oh yeah definitely, I meant it wouldnt prove anything to me that he still is thinking about me or what not. It just prolongs the process of not talking to him! I didnt say anything to him:) Isnt that strange that he said that? His friend called me tonight and was with my ex and asked me to come party with them, I rejected and he said i sounded mad haha. I said i wasnt mad. Im just weirded out.
Lost Fish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Oh yeah definitely, I meant it wouldnt prove anything to me that he still is thinking about me or what not. It just prolongs the process of not talking to him! I didnt say anything to him:) Isnt that strange that he said that? His friend called me tonight and was with my ex and asked me to come party with them, I rejected and he said i sounded mad haha. I said i wasnt mad. Im just weirded out. You're not doing a very good job at no contact livelife, lol. Despite the weirdness, I would be firm with the friend and tell him you aren't interested in hanging out with him right now. Then go NC with him too. Both these dudes shady IMO and I'd ignore them both. They are manipulating you and even you replying to their texts (I'm assuming) is affirming their control over you. Be better than that! Don't you have other friends that see your ex and this other dude for the morons they are? Hang out with them instead of these guys. Sorry for sounding harsh, I'm sleepy I think... lol.
Author livelife Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 You're not doing a very good job at no contact livelife, lol. Despite the weirdness, I would be firm with the friend and tell him you aren't interested in hanging out with him right now. Then go NC with him too. Both these dudes shady IMO and I'd ignore them both. They are manipulating you and even you replying to their texts (I'm assuming) is affirming their control over you. Be better than that! Don't you have other friends that see your ex and this other dude for the morons they are? Hang out with them instead of these guys. Sorry for sounding harsh, I'm sleepy I think... lol. oh! shoot! i forgot about the NC! hahahaha =/ Its ok, you werent too harsh. Im just stupid and i need to hear it. and yes, of course i have other people to hang out than them!
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