Mind Riot Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 It was suggested to me to post my story in this section. I didn't put it here initially because we were just dating and it wasn't like a real breakup... even though it does feel that way to me. Here it goes... I've been single for over 5 months now after a 4 year relationship. I finally got over my ex about a month ago when I realized I don't want him anymore and I'm happier without him. I had been talking to and playing an online MMORPG with a guy who was separating from his wife for a couple of months. He told me he just wanted to be friends so in my head he was completely in the "friend zone". This was until about a month ago he knew he was finally moving into his own place and the separation was really going to happen. Then he started to persue me, flirt with me, we spent more time talking, texting, and playing the game. He asked for a first date just over 2 weeks ago. It went well and for 2 weeks we saw each other 7 times. I liked him before we met just talking but after meeting it was great... I started to get attached right away, I just couldn't help it. I even told him I was getting attached in case he wasn't sure of what he wanted just yet. He would refer to me as his girlfriend, told me he liked me, wanted me to be with him, etc. Last week we were on the phone and got to talking about how we feel about each other, etc. He told me he didn't want a serious, committed relationship right away but he didn't want to see other women. I offered to remain friends with him until his divorce was final. He said "No, I don't want to risk you meeting another guy and losing you." So I said we can take it slow and just enjoy each other's company. He was OK with that. Then this past weekend comes... it was my birthday and we had a great time hanging out at his place Friday night with a bottle of tequila (my idea), pours his heart out to me when he got drunk about how much he likes me and he's scared of getting hurt, we're kindred spirits, etc. Saturday night he takes me out to dinner and a movie. I could tell he was depressed and something wasn't right. Sunday he tells me he really likes me but is not ready for a relationship and just wants to be friends and that he needs to get counseling and get over the resentment he has for his wife, that he was scared those feeling would cause him and I to blow up eventually. And he also has 2 small children which makes him very depressed because he can't see them every day anymore. My head completely understands this and knows what he is doing is right but try to tell that to my heart! So here I am over my ex completely but now I'm totally hung up on this guy. I knew I should never have tried to get involved with a separated man. I just liked him so much I took the risk and yeah, boy am I hurting right now. And I've been hurt a few times while dating these past few months but not like this. I'm at a place where I don't want to see anyone else. I want to be with this guy but I don't want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with me or can't give me what I need. I don't know what to do other than remain his friend... But if he ends up dating other girls or goes back to his wife it will destroy me. So maybe we shouldn't try to be friends... but then I'm scared if I say that and we're not in contact anymore he won't want to date me when he's through with counseling and ready to move on, etc. Usually I'm a strong woman but right now I feel so vulnerable and stupid for caring enough about him to want to stick around in case he truly does like me as much as he says he does. Man, I just wish he never persued me and just stayed my friend until he was ready to move on. I'm sorry if that was mixed up or confusing, just ask for details if you like. This is hard for me to talk about in a public forum because I'm a very private person but I needed to vent and get this out somehow and maybe get some advice from people who have been in the same situation. Any constructive input would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
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