ALombard Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 For those of you who read my last post on here, here's an update. Got a text from my ex yesterday morning telling me she was sorry. I guess she thought that I was somehow bent out of shape over that fact that she told me we couldn't see eachother anymore due to her sneaking around behind her boyfriends back. My reply was simple, I told her I understood the situation. That I wasn't depressed, hurt, angry, or any other type of bad emotion, just slightly frustrated. I once again brought up the fact of going NC. I once again told her the countless reason why it would be a good idea; her boyfriend WILL leave her if he knew we were talking, my intentions when it comes to talking to her and hanging out with all eventually lead to the goal of winning her back, and that (once again) talking and trying to have a phone based friendship just isn't something I wanted to do. She agreed, she stated how she would love to see me but didn't feel right sneaking around. How she will always care about me, etc, etc, etc. So great! We were both in agreement. We both understood the concept, we were both aware of the current situation. All seemed pretty set in stone. Well I get up to take a shower, I come out and see she has texted me...ok? Now once again, I must clear a few things up with the people reading this. Do I have a strong desire to win her back? Yes, of course. Am I hung up on her to the point where I am incapable of meeting new girls, having a good time, living my life to fullest, and in general just being content? NO! I have moved on to a point. I keep my options open when it comes to new relationships and I even have plans on moving to a new city soon to further my career. I just still love her. Now that I cleared that up, I text her back. Well this in turn becomes an all day texting/calling thing for her where she is non-stop texting me while she is in class and then calling me when she is out. I don't mind it of course, but it always raises the question in my head. Why? Why is SHE constantly doing this? For a long time I couldn't talk to her because it wore on my mental and physical health. In all honesty her and I both hated eachother for a while after the break-up. Now I don't find that happening to me anymore, I talk to her, blah, blah, blah, and I go on my way. But why does she constantly persist with it? A month ago I told her we should just leave eachother alone because of the reasons stated before. She agreed, I didn't hear from her for a month and honestly didn't care. Then a week ago she's back in my life. We have the talk again and she still won't stop. So ladies, gentlemen, anyone really? What's her deal? She says she's happy with the new guy, but is still willing to put the relationship in jeopardy to talk to me? Like I said, I'm not going to actually fight for her to come back to me, if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't whatever, like I said I've been keeping my options open. I just seriously don't get what is going through her mind. Any opinions or thoughts?
totalpackage Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Brother sounds like you're in love with someone who is unstable. She can't be happy with her man if she's talking to you all the time yet she doesn't want to leave him and come back to you. She doesn't know what she wants and until she figures that out she's going to play with both of you. I've been there before and even though I know it feels good for her to still reach out you've got to keep the mindset that even though she keeps talking to you she hasn't left him which will only lead to more confusion for you. Hope I helped some
Author ALombard Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 That makes sense. She has told me before that she's happy with him, which is why I keep wondering why she is willing to put the relationship at risk. He has told her already that if she was talking to me he would leave. It doesn't hurt me it just makes me confused as to how to go about the current situation. She is hard headed so even if I brought up the fact that maybe part of her wants me back she would still deny it. So I see now point in prying.
totalpackage Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Well do what you have to but I wouldn't have anything to say to her until she is clear on what she wants but by then you probably won't want her anymore.
Don Ho Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Sounds like she wants what she can't have!!
CaliGuy Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 You do realize that you are letting her have her cake and eat it too, right?! She can have BOTH of you. She has the guy she wants right now on her plate and you're on the back burner in case things fall out with him. Are you OK with making her a priority in your life when she only sees you as an option? If so, keep chasing her. In my opinion you are barking up the wrong tree and wasting your time. When someone else is out there who loves and appreciates you can't get to you because you are wasting your time with someone who does NOT love and appreciate you then my friend you can start to see things more clearly. You are simply asking for more heartbreak and treating yourself like crap. Not her. YOU.
PixieStix Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I agree with Cali, she is just keeping you around as a backup plan. I know because I have done the exact same thing before when I was younger. She is only using you to satisfy her need for male attention. I know it is hard but you have to move on with your life without her in it.
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