What do you do when you come across something of the exes.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I've been tidying today and randomly tucked into one of my writing folders was an email my ex sent me after our break-up about how much he was hurting. I stopped to read it and then re-read it. I'm a lot better now. I'm over the situation. But now and again it hits me with a wave of nostalgia, like you might miss the 80's or your childhood. I saw my ex the other day in town - we ignored each other. Isn't it sad its come to that? In his email he was talking about us staying friends and being honest and really sharing his feelings. Somewhere between then and now, he just gave up even on a friendship and just believed whoever was bitching about me.

 

I'm okay, still strong, going to keep going. But sometimes it hurts. I didn't think this would happen to us. Its sad. Does finding old things set you back?

[Lemontang]

I think it depends on the ex, some stuff I find from one ex takes me back even though I have no feelings for them anymore other than just friends and it brings a smile on. Others I just go "meh" about as I have no positive or negative feelings about them. But with one it hits me like a tonne of bricks especially if it's like a love note of sorts and you know they aren't the same person they are now from when they gave it to you.

[carhill]

Does finding old things set you back?

Funny you should ask. I was in the kitchen this morning, making coffee, and happened to look up over the sink and saw the nice carved wood plaque my mom gave stbx and I for our 'housewarming' gift after we got married. It's inscribed 'Live simply, laugh often, love deeply'. For a moment, a wave of nostalgia from our M washed over me, then I realized why, in scouring the house for anything of remote value to her, stbx left it; she never liked it nor my mom very much. I remembered why I didn't tell her my mom died a couple weeks ago. The nostalgia went away

 

That's usually how it works. A brief moment of nostalgia, then clarity returns....

[PegNosePete]

I found her wedding shoes tucked under a cupboard last night. I was a bit cut up for a few minutes, but throwing them in the dustbin helped relieve that feeling.

[paleblue]

Lately Ive been tossing all that stuff when i come across it here and there. Not just stuff from my last ex, but alllllll of them. Guess I am on a clear out the clutter mission. I dont really want to be continually reminded here and there of it anymore honestly.

[NewToLS]

Wonder what he did with our sex toys? What did you guys do? I don't mean to be crude, at all. But, really, did he just chunk them? No memories? Not enough good thoughts to even let me know why he just disappeared? And no, I don't want them mailed to me. That's the awfullest of awfuls. I have good days but then there are times when I feel like an old maid again, shrivelled, useless, out to pasture. I just want to hear something final out loud. Like...."it was fun, but really I see no future for us. I was just playing around. blah,, blah" He probably went back to his old live-in, but I don't know. I just don't know! I still wonder why grown men (59 years old!!) act so childish. Just let me know why you aren't emailing or calling. How easy is that??? Why can't he respond to last email? Last phonecall? Why the mystery? And really, why do I care so much?

[Nikki Sahagin]

Yes, sometimes it shocks me when it hits me out of the blue. It's like the emotion must still exist somewhere. I personally believe we never fall out of love. I will always love the boy I fell in love with, but he is not that person now and sometimes that's hard to take.