Nappeal Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 As some may know, I'm pretty darned pregnant @ this point, and my BF/father dumped me about a month ago. We've been in LC since, but let me tell you that NC on my end has helped TREMENDOUSLY...anyway, I'm having a little difficulty trying to deal w my situation, so I'd love any kind of advice. I have 6 wks to go until delivery; I told the ex last week that I thought it would be awkward to see him @ the delivery after so many weeks/months of no contact. He then suggested that we see each other occasionally between now and the birth, and asked me to come over Monday (last night), and so I did. Nothing romantic or the like, just sort of spending some time together. It was like old times, and tho there was no awkwardness, no lovey-dovey stuff, we did have moments of couple touching and 'babe' and 'baby'. I didn't have ANY expectations, and I still don't...maintaining some kind of relationship is important to me, and he did say as he was walking me out 'we should do this every week'. Now, I'm just kind of lost...I don't want to make things work and niether does he, to my knowledge, but I feel weird about things now. I don't think I even know how to feel, if anything...My problem is how to keep contact bounderies now. He doesn't make much of an effort to contact me, so NC on his end is obvious, but I don't know what should be appropriate; LC or NC, and if LC...about what? He's made his intentions clear that he will be there for delivery and then w me for a wk or 2 afterwards, so its not like he's poofed into thin air, but I've given up on updating w appointments and whatnot...I don't know what to talk about from that. If anyone else were in my shoes, what would they do?
shockandawed Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Nappeal, Wow..breakups are emotional enough without a pregnancy involved. Without knowing the entire situation, it seems as if he wants to keep you dangling on some sort of line. At this point, your only obligation to him is the legal matters concerning the baby. You owe him no other contact other than that. If you don't want him in the delivery room, then he doesn't come in. Do not allow him to be with you for a week or so, he has no rights to that. I think weekly hang outs really have no value at this point. The fact you felt strange and confused afterwards is proof enough that you have no business doing that. I am assuming he plans on being an active father to the child. That is great. Establish paternity through the courts, work out visitation and custodial payments through the courts and have no other contact with him until your mind has cleared. You need to focus on your new role as a full time mother and not ride along on his emotional roller coaster.
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