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"Infatuated" with my teacher :(


Estranged

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So here is a brief preface before i get to the subject:

 

- I finally overcame major depression which I suffered for a little bit more than a year.

 

- I got a rather important position in one of the clubs at my current college and it's greatly helping me in dealing with the social anxiety that has been plaguing me for so long now. That was mostly the turning point for me and my depressive state.

 

- I am still in therapy.

 

Ok so I'm enrolled in major 'X' at school and there's that one particular course that 'Mrs Hot' teaches. I had no idea how she looked like until I had my first and so far only class recently.

 

I was already planning on "sucking up" with my teachers in that 'X' program for the sake of networking and help me land a job after graduation. (by that I mean be more active in class ... make sure the teacher can put a name on my face etc...)

 

But I am afraid that it will go too far when it comes to Mrs Hot as far a I am concerned (never in a sexual way as there is a really good reason for that... but that's another story - and no I'm not gay).

 

So at one point during a break I went to speak to her ("new me" FTW!) and presented myself. I also told her about my 'club gig' as that club and my major are closely related and she was really impressed. So as far as sucking up is concerned I'm doing it quite right I guess!

 

I on the other hand was amazed by her smile her voice and the way she expresses herself. Why can't I have friends like that???

 

I already know the solution for me would be having a gf so that I can shift my focus on her... but I was never attractive in the first place...

 

So I would need advice on how to:

 

- up my ante in sucking-up

- be Mrs Hot's friend sorta :(

- get a gf maybe?

 

I guess I am just longing for some sort of connection. And yeah I'm stupid...

Edited by Estranged
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