Banker Chick Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 My situation is sort of odd and I need honest input. My ex and I dated for 10 months and he was head over heels in love with me. He asked me to marry him but I said no as we weren't ready. We came very close to moving in together. However, we fought a lot. He couldn't handle it anymore and wanted some time and space because he's going back to school full time (he's 39) and he's working full time. He's emotionally and financially spent. The break came with no guarantees so I said no. At first I said I didn't want to be friends, then I said we could be friends and now I'm willing to be FWB. The break happened a month ago. He came to see me this past weekend (lives an hour 1/2 away) and it was a lot of fun and we had a good time and the sex was really good. We haven't fought one time since the break up. For me, this is a good situation because not being in a committed relationship takes the pressure off and we can get along. I do enjoy his company but he needs to work some things out in his life for me to ever want to be official again. The thing is, I don't think he can pull of the FWB. He originally was supposed to come up for some 'action' and then maybe stay another hour and he ended up staying over 5 hrs. He told me repeatedly how great I look, he constantly wants to know who I'm dating and all their stats and he always wants to know if I've had sex with them. He got jealous when I told him I had joined a gym and was going to be going right after work; optimal time for tons of guys to be there in his opinion. He's stated that he sees us together in the future as I'm "the one" and he hopes I'll still be available when he gets his life together ... he just knows he has nothing to offer me right now (his words). He'd have to change a lot for me to want to be with him and I do want to date others right now. Can he truly be FWB? I'd like to but I'm afraid it will end up hurting him, even though he's the one that called for a break. I don't know if I should put a stop to it or not. We usually talk on the weekends and catch up and when we parted ways this past weekend he made the comment "hopefully when I see you again I'll have lost some weight" so I know he'd like to meet up again. I've tried to get him to date other girls (he has a dating profile up) but he just gives me various reasons why he's not. I even told him he could probably find a FWB situation down where he lives but he said he doesn't want to do that because we have "history". I tried to tell him he could just do a ONS from the bar or something but again, he doesn't want to do that. Thoughts? Have any of you tried this before?
Don Ho Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Who broke it off? I admire that you show character, however, I think he is a big boy and he can decide if he can handle FWB or not. You told him to find another FWB or ONS and he said no. I think you gave him options and he chose not to take them.
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