soverysad Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Hi everyone! Well it looks like I'm in the right place. I am going through a very sad and painful long distance relationship break up. I actually broke it off because even though I really loved him, I hadn't been happy for a few months. He has a very hectic schedule so we weren't seeing each other much. I just started back to school as a non-traditional full-time student. I know full well what a huge distraction an unhappy relationship can be for a student. This is after quite a while in the workforce, so my life has undergone some very dramatic changes in a very short time. It was a sudden decision to return to school. I think all of the change caused me to panic about a lot of things. The problem was I broke up during an argument about how much time we were spending together, instead of doing it with a clear head. We'd already established that we needed to spend more time "together", as in setting aside one night a week. I didn't feel this was too much to ask. So when he cancelled via text message at 11:30 pm, (after he scheduled the night) I got pissed off and I broke up. He cancelled to hang out with his buddies. When the pissed-ness wore off I was left with Searing heart ache. I panicked and tried to reconcile the break up but it was too late. He'd already thrown up a 'no contact for a month' wall. I then panicked some more and sent a flurry of texts and emails, which I'm sure you all well know only pushed him further away and made me look like a real nut! So now we're back at no contact for 2 days. And I'd been so good for a week... I am just getting to the heart of what was Really going on in my own head. We had a trip coming up and my finances were tight. The student budget is hard. I knew I wasn't going to be able to afford a lot of what we had planned before the sudden changes. Also, the issue of him moving for me (and not until next June) always bothered me. He has tons of family and friends in the area (and lots of them are my friends) so it wouldn't be entirely for me, but he would still be giving up the current life he has to live with me. Anyway this just sucks and it's sad, and I'd take him back in a second to stop this heart break, and he knows this, not good! But I know in my heart we'd still have the same issues. I've removed him from facebook and deleted his contact info. I removed some mutual friends to avoid cross chatter. (and to let him have his friends, yanno? the ones I removed I hadn't met in person) I requested that he remove my family members that he hadn't met, not to be mean, but so that we can both move on a little easier. I guess my question is, one of the last things he said to me is he still wants to move here one day, and hopes we can still be friends. If he were here I have no question I would absolutely want to be with him. After a period of no contact for at least a month, is it appropriate to at least try to rekindle some kind of friendship, so in the event that he does move here there might be some sort of possibility? Or is this just too far gone? I really did go pretty nuts trying to put it back together. Thanks for reading!
Author soverysad Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I should add that he actually said that before I re-inflamed the situation by contacting him. It wasn't left on an awesome note.
Author soverysad Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I guess I ask because he's hip to the NC thing. He is a very smart man. Do we just out 'no contact' each other? I know, I know, focus on doing it for myself. I wish I would have been more mature. I wish it were easier to move on.
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