HawksRule Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Okay this is stemming a little off my main issue: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t245719/ But anyway one of the big things my girlfriend/fiancee has with me is that she doesn't trust me. Two types of trust here: 1) Yes, I did kiss a stripper, so the trust of me never ever cheating on her will always be a bit tarnished. But interestingly enough this isn't the major trust issue. 2) The major trust issue is my word, saying things I will do, and either a) it not happening, or b) it happening for a short while and things "going back to normal". -Things that lot her Trust #2. - I screwed her over when I upgraded my car, and didn't get her one instead. Basically while the dealership was taking weeks to decide on my offer and she was out of town. I brought up the idea I could instead get her a car (which she really needed). Then the dealership took my offer, so I went ahead and got my car. Yes I betrayed her trust big time here. - Over the past 4 ish years maybe 2-3 times or so. I got too comfortable in our relationship. I forgot that women need more than words to show you love them. more than a ring on their finger to show you are the man for them. She would get mad at me for being too comfortable and being an @-hole, I would shape up. But you know eventually things get comfortable again. She said it herself "i'm tired of threatening to leave you in order for you to shape up". - Trust me I know I'm in the wrong. I want to actively change, and I am actively changing. If she does learn to trust me back and take me back, I will do whatever I can to make sure it's not a phase. i.e. I'll set calendar reminders everyday to remind me "don't turn back into THAT guy" again. - I love this girl, and I've never stopped loving her. I just lost sight of what's important. So yes I am telling her I love her, how amazing she is, how beautiful she is (and I'm 100% honest saying this to her). But, I know action speak louder than words. I am trying to do more romantic things forher (flowers, massages, drawing her a bath, small gifts, going on walks with her, etc.) and I know she likes them. But at the same time she tells me she still isn't sure if she can trust me. Because she doesn't know if this is just another "phase", and things will go back to me being a bad boyfriend/fiancee again. So yeah any other ideas here? I understand she's not going to just start trusting me again over night. But just trying to find other ways to show her that I am, and will be a man of my word. Maybe finishing all the other house projects we always talked about doing?
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