ant Posted February 23, 2004 Posted February 23, 2004 There is no single concrete reason for the way I feel, it just is. I have been feeling this way for almost a year now and I haven't been able to put it into words until now. I love my husband as a friend and a person, he's a good person, but I don't want to be married to him anymore. We've been together for 7 years and married for almost 2. I think we stay together because it's easy, because there is nothing motivating us to move on. We're both miserable all the time, we don't spend any time together. What I need is a way to bring up the subject, a way to tell him without him thinking I am blaming him for it. It's not his fault or mine, we just aren't right for each other. I've already made up my mind that this is what I want and I'm starting to make plans, but we have to talk about it.
NEONINK Posted February 23, 2004 Posted February 23, 2004 Amazing... so many of us here want in a relationship, and you want out. Well, to each his own. I hope you are sure of your motives, because most people leave for another person. You must be hitting the 7 year itch thing; where you think it is stale. However, if you do it, come from love. If he hasn't done anything wrong, don't hurt people on your way out the door. Be honest!
ant Posted February 23, 2004 Posted February 23, 2004 I feel so completely selfish about this. It's not that I hate him, but we don't want the same things anymore. I want alot more for my life than he does. I have several goals I have compromised by staying in this relationship. I don't want to hurt him, but we just don't work anymore. It's hard to put into words. There is no one else, though, that is not a factor.
SoleMate Posted February 23, 2004 Posted February 23, 2004 If you could rebuild a happy relationship with your husband, would you want to stay married? If YES, please try <URL removed> and Gottman counseling. If NO, go ahead and leave your marriage. You do have a right to do this, but nobody will be able to make you feel terrific about it. Even the best divorce is an ending and a loss. Make it as clean and quick and final as you can. To bring up the subject, just say, "I have something important I need to talk to you about. Can we take about an hour to talk?" Be prepared for tears, anger, denial, confusion... Good luck.
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