cuddlebear Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I'm not completely sure what I expect from telling the world this. I guess maybe I just have to get it out. I've talked to a few people about it but sometimes you just need to say things out loud and not just to yourself. I broke up with my girlfriend back in February (well she wouldn't and it wasn't working so I said it was ok if you she broke up with me, basically I broke up with her because she wanted to). After much prodding I managed to find out she still felt for her ex and wanted to see if she could get him back (even though he said it would probably never happen). She said she wanted to stay friends with me and she still cared about me. Two weeks later she dated another guy. 4 days after that she listed him and her as in a relationship on facebook. She kept messaging me that following week wanting to give me back some of the stuff I gave her. I ended up telling her I couldn't handle thinking of her with someone else and I couldn't see her or talk to her. I hid her on facebook but didn't block or remove as I thought maybe I would get over it and we could just be friends. Well I haven't had much luck finding someone since then. And every time I see a picture of my ex and her new man on facebook (via visiting mutual friends profiles or games, we used to play farmville together) I feel so much loss and hurt in my heart. Every month or so she sends me a gift on farmville. I feel like she wants to talk to me again and is trying to subtly indicate that. I probably should just delete farmville. It hurts too much to see a picture of her now. I seriously thought I would be over this by now! Now with the searching for new love dramas. I've recently met someone online (yet to meet them in person) and we get along so well so far. I asked them out for an icecream on the beach when they have free time and they seemed really excited and all. Well its been almost 2 weeks and they still haven't gotten back to me with a time. I've mentioned it once in IM conversation and in a message and both times they ignored it. I don't want to sound really pushy so I'm trying not to mention it again. But my problem is I feel rejection from her not replying to that. This rejection feels worse then the rejection I've felt before and I think that is because of my loss of love with my ex. I keep telling myself stop being stupid she is just a busy person and why would she seem really interested in me and excited about being asked on a date if she didn't want to?!?!. Then there's a little more complication in it. I'm very much a one girl man. I'm no the "playa" type. So this next bit makes me feel awkward. Before I met this girl I just talked about I have been talking to someone from interstate. At first just friendly talk but then she started getting flirty. I too then started to flirt. It's gotten to the point where I think she wants me. We webcam chat a few nights a week and she just keeps flirting. I think she is a nice girl, and would love to be friends with her for time to come. I think something could maybe even come about with us in the future. BUT, this girl in the paragraph above seems so close to perfect (I know, I haven't even met her in person) I want to see where we could go. I don't want to talk about the local girl with the interstate girl because I don't want to hurt the interstate girl (she has had much worse loss of love then I have had). And I feel I keep leading the interstate girl on. I really think I need to tell her though before I lead her on too much by accident! I just can't help myself from being flirty with her :/ I know, it's not that much of a mess but its doing my head in! I feel overly liked, rejected and massive love loss. And I'm not sure if it is really the case with any of them!
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