orbital Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 (edited) About two years ago, my now wife (then fiancee), and I were living in different countries due to travel issues. We hadn't seen each other in a few months, but did still talk on the phone/online almost everyday quite often. One day out of the blue, she stopped talking to me. She would hang up on my calls and wouldn't even respond when I tried asking her what was wrong and if I had done something. It got to a point where I noticed that she wouldn't talk to me at all but would talk to this guy online that her mom hired to help around the house (Chris). I started getting suspicious. I'd asked her many times what was wrong etc and that I was sorry we were apart but was trying to fix it..I got nothing. No calls picked up..no texts, emails or IMs responded to. It got to the point where I simply told her that I couldn't be with someone that didn't love me enough to be honest and communicate with me, but that I did love her. She took that as me wanting a break-up but I sent her a text after this saying that we didn't have to break-up if she wanted to try making it work. She says she never got it till the next day. A week later she told me that that same night I 'told' her I wanted a break-up that she had slept with Chris because she just wanted to feel like someone still wanted her, he was the one that made the first move apparently. She told me that she had said no for over an hour but finally caved in. The best part? Chris had been the one telling her that she should leave me for over a week - the reason why she stopped talking to me. It took a long long time and me dating (not sleeping with) someone else for a short period to get to a place where we could talk again, but we did and we eventually patched things up and got married. Here's the problem.. Now and then I can't escape the memory of what happened. I can't forget that it was so easy for someone to turn her against me and for her to get in bed with them without a second thought for what we had. She's apologized a lot since then. A whole lot for what she did, but I can't help but feel like this memory is going to haunt me in some way, no matter what it is that I do. Can you really ever forget an infidelity?. Can you really get over something like this? Edited September 14, 2010 by orbital
Trovador Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Mmmmm... let me think about it... No... I never would be able to get over it, with or without her... so I'd rather be without her...
pandagirl Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 So she slept with someone when you guys were "sort of" broken up? It's not good, but it's also not cheating. But, you guys should have sorted this out before you got married. You need to let go of that incident, if you guys are going to be together forever,
CaliGuy Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Well in your case, can you trust her? Can you forgive her? God says that if you can do that you're in a good place. I suggest couples counseling. Lots of it. If, after giving it enough time with counseling and trying to work it out that your feelings don't change then you have every right to walk away. Before you do it, make an EARNEST attempt to reconcile.
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