Laugher Posted September 13, 2010 Posted September 13, 2010 So this is hard for me to accept as im the ones my friends know as the clever one, who can spot the liars and give the harsh advice needed. I broke up with my ex of 3 years some time ago and its only now in hindsight I can see what I somehow missed all along..Iv had such fond memories of him until somehow its like a cloud has been lifted! About 1 year before we broke I noticed he had been texting a guy by a name id never heard of so out of curiosity i took the number and rang the voicemail, it was a girl. When i asked him about it he said the name he had her under was just a nickname, laughed it off and was so convinicing I BELIEVED him..then when we broke up after 3 years I had a funny feeling something wasnt right so I stupidly checked his phone records...again there was another number I didnt know and there was loads of messages sent at all hours day and night the week leading up to when we broke...again I rang and it was a girl..when i questioned him, he said it was a friend and I ended up apologising for being sneaky.. So we broke up a year ago and we have been on good terms since, friends etc..and for some reason it just hit me today what an idiot i have been..its been a whole year so is it crazy for me to now stop talking to him over it? I feel like the biggest fool in the world and looking from the outside in I would have seen it straight away but because of the person I thought he was I couldnt believe he would do that..for example, he was very religious, had strong morals, used to have arguements with his friends for cheating on their gfriends, talked about how wrong it was, was prudish over sex etc..so never in a million years would i have expected it from him...now i cant imagine trusting anyone, i would have bet my life on him being loyal. like if it wasnt wrong then why did i never hear of these girls until i found out myself? his group do not hang around with girls...he is 30, not a teenager either! please tell me that plenty of normal and smart people get fooled too..i never thought it would be me?????
atlnay Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I cant make heads or tails on if you were snooping through his phone records while you were broken up & confronting him or if he cheated, as in had sex with someone, or was texting other women & hiding it from you. But if you are no longer together, thats neither here nor there. I guess the take away lesson is, never "bet your life" on any humans infallibility.
Author Laugher Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Sorry, wrote it in a hurried frenzy of realisation.. Never established if he had sex with someone, found out he was texting a girl while we were together but stored her in his phone as a he..then the week we broke up I snooped and found he was texting another girl just leading up to the break-up.. Anyway yeah..your right!!
PegNosePete Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 please tell me that plenty of normal and smart people get fooled too..i never thought it would be me????? I have an MA from Oxford University (the real one), and I was fooled. Smartness has nothing to do with it. It's about trusting someone. If you trust someone, you become vulnerable to them, and they can take advantage of that.
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