Trying to break up with a verbally abusive live-in boyfriend

[savannah86]

Im writing because my boyfriend is verbally abusive.

Constantly telling me that im dumb, retarded, simple, and then he walks out of the room during every argument and says that he solves every disagreement with what he claims is logic.

 

He constantly puts me down and takes me for granted.

he tells me i dont think and have a one track mind.

I wish this all was the worst but he also flirts with other girls in front of me talks to females behind my back and sends naked photos of himself in exchange for them back.

 

he claims he gets bored and so thats why he posts ads and such, i confronted him on this and he claimed to stop, then I caught him again on the verge of breaking up, he then claimed he was really gonna change and that he was completely done and deleted his email account. But he kept one for his school.

 

He also was texting an old friend with benefits that i had asked him not to, while at the same time he asked me not to txt 3 of my male friends and i did not.

 

He then claimed to do a 180 and stop everything and he completely about us and me. he was really great for a while but, now things are getting back to the way they once were.

I had told him that i had wanted complete and total access to his phone and computer, he agreed but now hes deleting his history and deleting certain txts.

 

The most recent was when he told me that I was no longer allowed on his lap top and he also put a password on his phone.

At this point im ready to leave, but im afraid of his verbal lashings and that im going to crumble and take him back.

 

ive given him so many chances that I just cant do this anymore....but we live together and I just dont know how to go about this. He lives in my apartment but his name isnt on the lease or utilities.

I dont wanna be one of those women who complains about her abusive bf but does nothing about it, and i also fear that he thinks all my threats of leaving are just bs. my heart hurts and but head knows I need to go.

 

Can someone tell me how to get the courage to break it off for good?

Also -- how to get him out of my house?

[GorillaTheater]

Also -- how to get him out of my house?

 

I don't know what your relationship with your family is like, but if my daughter asked for this kind of help, I'd rent a big truck and be there in a flash with a couple of sons and one or two brothers-in-law. We'd have him packed in an hour, and we'd take the stuff to the place of his choosing. Or an empty field, depending on whether or not he wanted to dick around with me.

 

The breaking up part is all up to you, though. Other people can help to a certain extent, but ultimately it's on you to find the strength to say "You know what? This isn't working for me anymore. You've got a week to move out."

[lvixen]

My ex was also extremely verbally/emotionally abusive to me. He'd show me pictures of beautiful, nude females and say stuff like "oh you could look like this if you lost some weight". PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not put up with it anymore, for your own sake. Just because he isn't beating up on you doesn't mean that calling you names is in any way OK. Do you have self-esteem issues? If you're afraid that he will just call you names until you go back on the break up...please don't be afraid of that. You have to be strong for yourself. Did you know that verbal abuse is likely to turn into physical abuse? Do you really want a future with a man that not only calls you names, but may end up beating you to a pulp? If he starts getting verbally violent call the cops or call a women's shelter for some advice (they will help you). But please, don't put up with it anymore. You deserve better than that piece of crap. Not to mention he is cheating on you? He's gross and you can do soooo much better!

 

Good luck.